Pathological lying, worried about a friend

[babylover111]

I have a friend who I really think might be a pathological liar. She lies about big things and small and Im not sure if shes really aware of it. Last night we were talking about a guy im getting close to and she came up to me afterwards and told me that shes close to him and he had said that "The next time he goes out for a meal with someone its definately going to mean something" which I know he didnt say because shes not close to him. I had been speaking about her to him that at breakfast yesterday and he asked which friend it was and said he didnt know her.

Also most recently she broke the news to us all that she was pregnant and didnt know what to do. Im not saying this is a lie because I wouldnt think she'd take it this far but apparently she was about 4 months along and when I msgd her asking her what was happening about it because she'd been showing all signs of keeping it she wrote back with "I got rid of it, thank god" :crying: but she was 4 months along and not showing and im not experienced in abortions but can you get them that late?

Anyway the reason im writing this thread is because I am so unbelievably worried about her and I want to know if anyone has any experience in pathological lying or knows anything about it. When she tells me these stories which I know are true she seems to believe it 100% and she also made up another story about our personal trainer which I then found out wasnt true either. Anyway any help would be greatly appreciated.

[the_original_duchess]

you can get an abortion at some clinics up to 18 weeks along without a doctors referal. and up to 24 weeks in a hospital if there is something worng with the baby, i know someone who had an abortion at 15 weeks, which is nearly 4 months. she got it done a week or so ago, she was only a few weeks behind me. so yes it possible for her to have gotten it done, wether she did or not is another story. i think she needs to get some help. she is obviously lying for a reason.
hopefully you can tlak to her about it. although from what your saying i dont think she will react very well to you bringing it up. maybe what needs to happen is someone needs to catch her out with one of her lies.
just be tactful, and remember that she could have had something bad happen to her in the past that is making her behave this way. i hope that your friend get the help she needs if she does need it.
good luck and :hugs:

[Moorish]

I don't have any experience with pathological liers but from what I gather it's a lot about getting attention any way they can.
Maybe if you can give her that attention that she's craving but in a positive way it may curb the lying a bit? Eg. arrange to go to the hairdressers with her or go to a day spa together or something else girly where she's comfortable to open up and talk. Maybe she'll get a lot of unresolved things off her chest?

Don't know if that'll help you but :hugs: to you.

[babylover111]

Ok I thought I'd just bring this thread up again. This friend is back from her trip to Africa and once again has started going crazy with the lies. She has started at a new uni and met a friend of mine and told me she was going to coffee with her yesterday. Then I happened to see this friend yesterday and she told me how she'd met this friend of mine and when I asked if they went for coffee today she replied with "Ummm she must've been talking about someone else, I didnt see her today" :confused:

We planned to go out for dinner at wollomoloo wharf last night, then she forced us to go to a club and when we got there said she'd already eaten. All this weird behaviour has started up again, I guess I'm just looking for someone who has been in this position or knows if theres anything I can do to help?

Thank you to all of you who replied last time by the way :hugs:

[Leeny]

My mother in laws a pathalogical liar. She actually have ovarian cancer once when dh was very young, but she had her ovaries removed.

Shes faked bowel cancer, again ovarian cancer, Claims shes and i quote "p*ssed out the tumors".

Shes had many many many pregnancies, how may i ask with no ovaries? The most recent, When i was pregnant, we didnt tell her at all cause she lives in canada and we didnt want her knowing. Coincidentally, she was pregnant, due about 2 months before me...Yet, at 7 months, she miscarried:rolleyes:..I dont think she understands that it would have been a still born, requiring a funeral.

Since dh was 13 or 14, she told him that she had to call him "lisa" to everyone, wasnt allowed to call her mum anymore, and she faked being his sister for years. She stole his cousins identity, Right down her her name an DOB.

I could go on for hours and hours and hours...Shes mental. With my experience, If the person is unstable, they can become very angry and violent if caught out in a lie. That being said, if shes a placid person and just craving attention, maybe just confront her? Or if you catch her out, bring it up..."Oh but how can that be? You said such and such a few months ago". Catching her in a lie may make her stop.

Its a hard situation, Espically being a friend. I just wiped my MIL from my life ;) Goodluck:hugs:

[babylover111]

Yeah last night when I saw her I brought up that I had seen the friend that she has met and she said "DID YOU TALK ABOUT ME" in quite an angry voice and started shaking a bit. Almost as if she knew she was about to be caught out, I said I did but didnt mention the coffee thing. The problem is I feel sorry for her, I dont want to catch her out but I have no idea what else I can do.

[Leeny]

The thing is, she may never stop unless shes caught out in a lie, or embarassed or humilated some way. Yes it'll probably hurt her, and she'll be upset or angry, but Its not normal behaviour and she must know deep down shes bound to get caught out eventually. If its not you that catches her out, someone else will. Does any of her other friends that you know of, also think she has a problem with lying?

[babylover111]

Yep all of our friends have picked up on it recently. Last night I sort of came to the conclusion that she lies so she has something to talk about. All her lies seem to be directed it someone and its the kind of lie that makes other people excited and they always cause drama.

[Leeny]

If it was me, I'd honestly confront her when shes caught out. It almost sounds like she does it in a malicious way, just to cause drama between friends, or bring attention to herself...I've had a few experiences with friends like that, And i lost 1 best friend cause another made up lies about me. It usually ends badly unless a stop is put to it.

[babylover111]

Yeah thats true, it seems to be getting worse and worse. Oh and also she went and told some people that me and my best friend were lesbians :confused: it seems she doesnt have control over what she says which is worrying.

I think next time something comes up which I know isnt true Ill have to say something. I really hope doesnt start anymore rumours. Thank you for your help though, its nice to talk to someone who understands :hugs:

[Leeny]

Well, with my MIL...and even my mums sister, They knew exactly what they were doing. Alot of the time, their lies were calculated just to hurt people and cause problems. Im not saying thats how she is, but alot of the time, they do have control. They dont have to lie, but they do...I really hope it works out for you:hugs:

[kymmy]

We have a friend who is prone to lying. I am sure it is aproblem now he is married and has a kid.
He knows a lot cos he reads! But as far as experience goes he lacks. He is 32. He tells ppl he was a pilot in the Gulf War, a police officer and a secuirty guard. But over the past 8 years (hubby has known him for about 12) I have known him he has hardly worked.
He used to dress up and act like someone famous and he even changed his name so it is very similar.
He has developed an Americal accent and says he is from such and such in the US. But I have met his family and he is from a large Aussie family.
I am concerned for him cos it is so obvious he is lying and his family could suffer.