Need an action plan

[V8]

I am really trying to wean DS who is 13 months old. It's getting hard now as he actually say's 'bit' which means 'boob' and he will also lift up my shirt to start helping himself!

I need a plan and some support! He currently has a feed at night a feed in the morning, and sometimes one during the day. He did cut out day feeds before, so i am not worried about that, it's just the ones before bed and in the morning i think i'll have trouble with. Also i have finally started to enjoy BF as he was quite fussy when he was younger. But, i also want to have 'myself' back and think he's old enough to wean.

He also will take a bottle, i guess i know how to wean him, i'm just worried that i won't be able to say 'no' to him. Like this morning he helped himself, i thought alright, one side and then that's it. He cracked it and wanted the other side, so i gave in. I'm getting worried that he's just going to be really hard to wean and i think i need support to be strong so that's where i need some advice.... What worked for you when you decided to wean, and did you have a plan, like by the weekend, he can have one feed a day and then the next week have no feeds at all, or did you just stop cold turkey??

Any advice would be appreciated.

[Pinky McKay]

hi proud mumma,

You sound a wee bit confused - you say. "I am enjoying breastfeeding" which of course will mean that it is an enjoyable experience for your wee fellow - a lovely close time together for you both.

As you seem a bit ambivalent you are probably giving your baby mixed messages too - so do try and work out what you really want. Are you feeling pressured to wean? Where is this pressure coming from? How can you meet your own needs for nurturing - even if you wean you will still have to intensively mother a baby this age - its a very full-on time

I personally feel that if you are enjoying breastfeeding there is no need to completely wean your young toddler. There is so much going on in his tiny world that nursing can help him feel secure ( as he goes through the normal separation anxiety stage) / boost his immune system ( as he is socially exposed to more bugs through playgroups etc)/ supplement his diet ( as he adapts to more foods)and so on - the disease protective benefits of breastfeeding last as long as the duration of nursing and some immune factors will increase in concentration at this age. You really have the best of both worlds -milk on tap with all of the health benefits and no messy bottles - you will have to wean off these eventually too if you wean from breast to bottle!

If you really want to wean - you dont have to 'get tough' - the mantra to remember is "gradually with love' as you gently substitute 'other mothering' for the breastfeeds ( see previous posts about weaning)- and please dont try and wean any more quickly then one feed a week.

You asked what I did - actually I pretty much followed my babies leads and let them choose. I did steer the first one towards weaning as i became pregnant - the others werent as compliant and I felt more relaxed. I found that even when my little ones were almost comletely weaned they still had a bedtime feed for months -and gradually weaned onto a bedtime story. Some mothers continue the morning feed but I found it easier to get up before my little ones and have an activity set up as they came out - ie some playdough or blocks or dressups already on their little table so mornings were exciting and this distracted them from morning feeds. They were all older than 13 months though - at this age we loved the morning snuggle and booby before getting up for the day.

Please think of all the development during the second year - I personally feel that the second year is a really important time to be breastfeeding as there are so many developmental steps to go through and nursing is a wonderful mothering tool to smooth the bumps - literally!

Pinky