i cry over nothing

[jessgray]

all day i have been crying over nothing sounds sillyto even me i dont know why i am doing it either.i keep forgetting to make myself food to eat coz i dont feel hungry very often. but i eat as soon as i remember. i'm up at 4am most mornings and cant get back to sleep i cant sleep when both ds's are sleeping either...i'm tired yet i feel like i have heaps of energy yet i dont feel able to cope with anything or like i have the ability to do all the house work :(
the more i think about it to me it sounds like PND :(

[Shanaynay]

Hi Jessgray,
:hugs:
If you feel like you have PND, then you probably do! Have you spoken to your DP about the way you feel? Is there anything you can ask him to do (eg. mind the kids for an hour so you can have a nice relaxing bath) that will make you feel a little bit better?
Talk it out - we are here to listen
xx
ETA- You NEED to eat sweetie - one of the most important things a Mum can do for herself is to eat properly :thumbsup:

[jessgray]

:no: dont know how to tell dp. both kids are asleep now but i dont know when he will be finished his war thingy on the computer to talk. i see my mchn on wednesday is it better to see a dr or mchn first?
i thought i was going so well no baby blues then over the past few days its all hit me :(
:crying: im scared i'll just snap and do something like smack ds1 over nothing if i am alone at home with him

[Shanaynay]

Awwww Jess :hugs:
Your MCHN is a great place to start :thumbsup: Most of them are great listeners and can you give you good advice of what to do or who to see. But if you have a dud one, please go straight to your GP ok?
Have you ever suffered from depression before or is this the first time you've ever felt this bad?
It can be hard to tell your DP :hugs: If you can't tell him straight out how you are feeling, maybe you can just hint that maybe you could do with his support right now as you're a bit worn out?

[jessgray]

1st time for me. but i've watched my mum go through depression and my bro as well. so i guess i'm pre-disposed to it:detective:
will i have to be on meds? or is there treatments that are bf friendly:confused:
still waiting for dp to be of the computer:laughing:

[poodysmum]

Hi Jess:wave: Like Phineas said, it might be a good idea to go and see your GP. It is awful feeling like this, but the sooner that you get help, the faster you can get it under control. They may not necessarily start you on medication, they might just suggest some counselling to get your feelings out in the open. Im on meds (Lovan) and have been for a while, but Ive now found that they arent enough for me, so I have a referral to see someone to chat. Every person is different,so the treatment varies from person to person. The first step is making that appointment to see you GP, then take it from there. We are always here to listen:hugs: Let us know how you go:)

Alli

[jess_live_die]

aww hunni:hugs::hugs:

[Shanaynay]

Jessgray- youre offline now, hopefully you're chatting to your DP :hugs:
I am on medication for depression and breastfeeding at the same time - so it is generally regarded as safe if you want to give meds a try. Don't underestimate the power of talking it out - counselling. Meds are great for a quick-fix for feeling better, but counselling probably has a better chance of getting down into those issues that are causing the depression :thumbsup:
Have a chat to your MCHN or GP - ask them about both meds and counselling and see what they recommend. If you see a counsellor and you don't think it will help, go back to your GP and ask to be referred to a different counsellor. It can take a while to find someone you click with - but when you do it will be worth it!
Let us know how you go and talk to us here on Bubhub - we are here for you :hugs:
xx

[*Chels*]

Hey hun
Just wanted to say that its great you have recognised there might be a problem and are going to deal with it.Im sure youre DP will be behind you 100%
Please remember its so important to eat-especially when youre breastfeeding.
I know how you feel tho,those first few weeks its all GO GO GO with a new babe and theres no time to eat!
Make sure DP fixes you some lunch and when the kids are sleeping make sure you have lots of snacks prepared so you have something on hand-like muffins and carrot sticks and dip etc.
Look after yourself:hugs:

[jessgray]

thanks guys i still am yet to talk to dp lol i fell asleep after i went offline on here lol such a late bedtime hey lmao
i think we are off to the beach today. i think there is going to be ppl who blame dp for how i am feeling. its not his fault :( but already i have been told by one person that pretty much i wouldnt feel thsi way if he helped more.but i wont let him coz he doesnt do it right lol he helps with the kids and stuff but i wont let him do the washing last tiem he did that i had a white top go pink...:laughing:

[Shanaynay]

Oh Jess, I know the feeling! Dh says "don't worry, I'll clean the kitchen", but if HE cleans it, it's not clean, iykwim! lol
Hope you are feeling a little bit better today :)
I see you have started an online journal, I hope it helps you :hugs:

[jessgray]

well i told my mchn how i was feeling and she said it was good that i told her.se left a message with the post natal worker at the hospital to call her.so friday i should know when i go see someone about it. the worker only works tuesday and fridays. my mchn told me there is a another clinic i can go to at a diferent hospital but i dont know where anything is at that one so i said i'd stick with the one she called.i am going to give the geelong pnd support group a call today, see if they still have stuff running seen as how its so close to xmas and all.

[poodysmum]

Thats so great to hear that you are taking some steps to getting help-let us know how you are going:hugs:

Alli

[jessgray]

:hugs: thanks
i told dp how i was being refered to the hospitial worker and he looked at me and said "so waht doe that mean?whats wrong with you?" he seems to think hospitials only look after really sick ppl lol and eh doesnt understand what pnd is.so ia m trying to find soem info for him that he will understand.

[poodysmum]

It is hard for the guy to understand-my husband kept thinking it was something that he'd done, but once Id sort of explained it (it's really hard to explain to someone else, isnt it:yes: )he sort of got the picture. I think that they just feel a bit helpless because they dont know what to do;) Maybe if you do get the info and he has a read it might help explain things a bit better:hugs:

Alli

[Gumby]

I hear ya Jess. I am glad you got to speak to someone.
When I had DD1 I thought I had PND too but when I got talking to doctors and councellors (sp) they found I didnt have PND but a very inconsiderate, usless a** hole partner hence the feeling low and useless..

So once I told ex dp to wake up to himself my "pnd" dissapeared.

Not saying this is happening to you but just wanted to share :D

[jessgray]

:yes: i hear ya.
rian083- my mum went through a similar thing but by the time she got help for what she thought was just the blues it had turned into the real deal depression :thumbsdown:

i think he actually thinks its his fault coz he has been so busy trying to keep MIL happy by helping build a bungalow in her backyard so i am often stuck here withthe kids.all my friends who have kids that lived nearby have moved :( and now i feel isolated coz if i got a young mums group i dont really relate to the other mums,they are lovely people but i cant relate to shared expeirences (sp?)as we dont have any if you know what i mean.

[jessgray]

do i need to tell c/link about whats going on?i'm on youth allowance as a jobseeker im spose to put 4 jobs on my form each fortnight my form is due next friday i havent looked for work:no: i just havent felt up to it :( i wont get breached will i:eek: :confused:

[dianne]

Jess you should be able to get a doctor's certificate for a couple of weeks until the figure out what is wrong and how they are going to treat it. You should get the doctor's to do blood tests to check your iron levels because my sister has depression and the drs said that if you have low iron it can make you feel worse and tired and rundown plus also try and get heaps of sleep which is easier said than done.

I am sorry that you are feeling this way at the moment. Just remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that you are a good mum. I only have one child who is nearly 2 and even I have times when I feel low

Take care
Dianne

[jessgray]

thanks.
iron levels - low .have been since i was about 13-15:laughing: i take iron tablets eat meat nothing gets to the "normal" level so i always look pale and ppl think i am sick lol
i dont feel tired at all i have trouble getting to sleep then i have trouble going back to sleep when i wake up.kinda a hypo feeling. but at the same time my thoughts are all over the place.i also feel tired all at the same time :confused: :laughing:
gott aptt on fri 15th at 12 to see hospital pnd worker.

[Shanaynay]

Hi Jess,
Glad the ball is rolling on this :hugs:
Get to your doc asap and get a certificate for as long as possible so you are exempt for looking for work ok? Promise? :p
Keep talking - the power of Bubhub is amazing :wizard: :D

[jessgray]

Keep talking - the power of Bubhub is amazing :yes: it sure is. the funny thing is i was exempt the last 6 weeks before ds2 was born and until end of november :laughing: they'll prolly think...hmm this ones faking it lol
mil cleaned the kitchen &lounge room :smiliedance:

[jessgray]

well i am feeling less down latley but i still get teary every now and then. i actually had a good cry over dp not getting off the computer yesturday :laughing: he was getting off it in 10 mins but i cried anyway lol
so emoitional lol
i still forget to eat coz i dont feel hungry.and when i do i feel full after a small amount of food:confused:
still having toruble sleeping latley i have been up at 11pm wide awake doing nothing but watching tv. while both boys are asleep and then i will go to bed try to sleep and i will be up at 6am with the boys:laughing: but i dont feel tired at all lol
hopefully tomorow i get some help or pointed in the right direction after seeing the post natal worker. coz dp sounds like a broken record when he says "you need to eat" i know i do lol

[dianne]

Hey Jess

I think that maybe you should check with centrelink about the payment that they have you on. I thought that you would be on a parenting payment or something along thoses lines and from my understanding you are not required to work until your child goes to school. It might be something to look into and that way you would have one less thing to have to worry about. Chin up

[ogilberry]

hey there firstly big hugs :hugs:

and yeah at least you know where you are at and are going to deal with it and do something about it..it is to be expected sometimes having a bubba does crazy things to your body and mind..i got so depressed when my premmi gal was newborn looking for somany weeks then started to turn into a baby. i knew shed be my last and thought oh no i want to treasure that part so it took a while to kick in for me and i went a bit bonkers and i had to still deal with the two boys as well...anyway time passed and so did the emotions eventually although not without quite a few tears and a good hug here and there from hubby and friends..

you really need to drag him (hubby that is) and share your concerns with him..he loves you so he will be there for you and kiddies.

hope things look up for you shortly. take it easy and remember to take a breather here and there..life is not always as easy as we hoped it would be but try to push the **** to the back and enjoy the good bits...\

and if all else fails just put your head in a pillow and single jingle bells at the top of your lungs hehe:xmas:

hugs fee

[jessgray]

well i went to see the post natal wokrer yesturday without DP. he elected to stay home coz i wanted to do the rest of my chrissy shopping too before it:laughing:
the worker was really nice. she said i should go see my gp asap to see if i need to be refered to a pyshologist or if med's would help me. she said i do have elements of depression.