Split 2 ways - dilemma!

[petster]

Hi guys

My DH and I are TTC #2. Unfortuneately, we are unable to conceive naturally - DD was an IVF baby. I'm 34 (35 in Feb), so time is ticking away somewhat... We just had a failed attempt at a frozen embryo transfer (FET). I'm still breastfeeding my 7 month old DD. My Dr has told us he'd prefer us to not be breasfeeding whilst attempting a FET, as it can possibly reduce the chance of success. We are able to try a FET twice more, and then it will be a full IVF cycle again - in which case I'll definitely have to stop bf due to all the hormones/drugs I'll have to take... My dilemma is that I don't want to stop breastfeeding!! It works for us, and for me it feels like the only "natural" thing I've achieved - DD was conceived through IVF and then was born via emergency caesarean...

Aaargghh!! What to do?? Reading this back, it almost seems obvious to me that I should stop breastfeeding in order to give the FET every chance of success... But I don't want to!! I would really like to bf until DD is at least 12 months old - but as we are both getting a bit long in the tooth - we don't have the luxury of time...

I think I have already made up my mind what I want to do, but I'm really interested to hear what others think... What would you do if you were in this situation?

Thanks in advance guys...

P.S. I hope this actually makes sense to someone!!

Cheers!

[Rachael]

Naturally it is up to you and your DH but if I was in your position I would stop breastfeeding to increase the chances of conceiving especially if the doctor reccommended it.

[jaydensmum]

Like Rachel said its totally up to you and DH to decide. It depends on what you really want more of. I can understand that it would be a hard decision to make but unfortunately its something that you and DH have to decide on. If you really want to get pg again and the DR's advised it then maybe its time that your little one goes onto the bottle. On the other hand if you want to keep on bf then just keep trying and see what happens. Im sorry if im no help to you but its a hard one to advise on.

jaydensmum

[LittleBoysRock]

I agree. Ultimately you and DH need to decide what is best for you and baby. Formula feeding is getting better all the time. I had heaps of problems wih breast feeding and I honestly don't feel guilty about feeding my baby formula.

Might be a good solution and help your chances of concieving. Although I understand it is easy said than done.

Best of luck with it all.

[sopolicha]

Miranda,

What a bugger your FET didn't work. At the end of the day 35 is not that old, and your daughter will be 1 in around 5 months, so what is another 5 months at the end of the day, she won't be a baby forever!

That is only my opinion. Good Luck either way.

[maybe1more]

Sorry to hear that FET didnt work. Your in a bit of a situation, i think that its fab that your still b/f, but what a bumma that it can reduce your chances on concevieing.DOH! Your feeding your baby the best way you can, and now your caught between a rock and a hard place. Unfortantly you may have to give up b/f to give your bubba a brother or sister. Its a decistion you shouldnt have to make but it must feel like you have no choise. Best of luck darl :)

[Angel_baby_1982]

Could you slow right down or stop to concieve and then start again?

[petster]

Hi guys

Thanks for the support and opinions...


Could you slow right down or stop to concieve and then start again?
Not really....

I failed to mention in my original post - just to make it a bit more interesting - DD won't take a bottle... She goes to daycare twice a week and basically we're lucky if she'll take 50ml whilst she's there! She won't take a bottle from me or DH... Another reason why I'm so loath to give up breastfeeding...

I guess I'll just sleep on it for a few weeks... We're going to NZ next week for 2 weeks, so we'll miss this cycle anyway...

Thanks again!

Cheers!

[xkwzit]

Hi Petster
You've just got to decide what your priorities are...and like many have said, none of us can tell you what is best for your family. I think that, as mother's we tend to assume massive levels of guilt about a whole range of things, many of which we have little control over. I think that you've done a tremendous job in bf so far.

Decide what your priority is and act consistently with that in all things. Then you're pursuing your goal with all the resources that you have available (whether that goal is bf till 12 months or having another baby). Sometimes you just can't have it all.

Cheers

[aardvark]

If it were me, I'd be inclined to b/f the 12 months, and then try again.

After 12 months, most babies are able to manage to drink from a cup or a straw, so the reliance on the bottle as an alternative to the breast is greatly diminished. Even though I expressed milk for #2 after I returned to work (at 12 months), she drank the milk from a straw or a cup, not from a bottle with a teat. And after 12 months cow's milk is usually fine, too.

I know how it feels to think that time is getting away from you. We hurriedly embarked on TTC #3 earlier this year, even though I would have liked to wait 12 months more, as I will be 40 next year, and the alarm on my biological clock was ringing loud and clear! At 35, though, you still have some time left, even with needing to go via IVF.

Give yourself the luxury of b/f you baby till they are a toddler, then embark on your mission. It's only 6 months.

[Angel_baby_1982]

the problems with having a baby as an older mum aren't limited to trouble getting pregnant, there's increased risk of downs syndrome, still birth and sids amoung other things, and that risk grows every year, 12 months may be the difference between a 'normal' healthy bub and a bub with downs syndrome.

In the end its up to you;

if breastfeeding longer and trying to have a baby later is worth the risk to the second child and the possibility that it will be 'too late' for you, then that's your answer

if stopping breastfeeding early to have a baby now is worth the disadvantage to your first born, and persevering to make them take to a bottle, thats your answer. (keeping in mind that bottle fed kids can grow up just fine!)

You need to carefuly weigh up the pros and cons, do a bit of research, then make an informed decision, and best of luck whichever way you choose to go!

[Supermum]

Goodness Angel_Baby - that all sounds a bit frightening for an 'older' mum who is trying to conceive!

[Angel_baby_1982]

yeah, it is scarey but it is also fact, you can't ignore it just because it scares you!

Heaps of older women have perfectly healthy bubs, no problems at all, but there is an increased risk of something going wrong, and I think to make an informed decision on this matter Petster needs ALL the facts!

[Supermum]

yeah, it is scarey but it is also fact, you can't ignore it just because it scares you!

Heaps of older women have perfectly healthy bubs, no problems at all, but there is an increased risk of something going wrong, and I think to make an informed decision on this matter Petster needs ALL the facts!
Understood ... most of us 'older mums' are acutely aware of the additional risks but I appreciate where you were going with it. Cheers, deb

[Angel_baby_1982]

Actually DH and I are discussing having our first 4 kids before we're 30 (we're now both 23), then having 2 more once the youngest is about 8!

I know the risks but we love kids so we want to keep that option open, just hope that if we decide to go that way we don't have too many problems ourselves!

Best of luck to everyone trying!

[petster]

Hi guys

In case any of you were wondering, I think I've come to a decision... I'm going to continue to breastfeed my DD, and try a FET early next year once I have weaned her... (I haven't even told my DH yet!! We (well, me :p )are avoiding discussing it at the moment!!) I LOVE breastfeeding and the thought of stopping breaks my heart!! I'll just have to muffle the sound of the biological clock ticking ;) ...

Thanks for your advice and opinions...

Cheers!

[Angel_baby_1982]

Good Luck Miranda!