Weaning big brother

[Moffie]

I'd love some ideas for gently weaning my 2yr8months boy. I wouldn't mind continuing feeding him except that he asks at really difficult times. I'm also feeding his 14 month sister, and when she feeds he wants to aswell, this might be at school assembly, at the shops etc, and tandem feeding isn't very discreet. No booby leads to tantrums and me eventually giving in to keep the peace. The distraction idea doesn't really work, he knows they aren't broken as he can see his sister using them. The 'never offer never refuse' rule doesn't work either, as there is no way he can forget about it seeing his sister feed 10ish times per day. I tandem fed my older two boys aswell, and didn't have the same issue, they just gradually weaned themselves before 3 yrs. I've just had enough and am starting to resent feeding him, which obviously isn't a good messgae for him to get.
Thanks, Moffie.

[WeThree]

Just bumping for the OP :)

[Pinky McKay]

Hi Moffie,
Having tandem nursed myself I 'get it' -some days I felt a bit like a piece of meat being squabbled over by a pair of puppies.

Rather than think of the problem in terms of 'weaning' , which your child may pick up on as a rejection of sorts, can you look at the issue from your older toddler's perspective - a tiny toddler is very cute; doing lots of new and interesting things, not to mention requiring a close eye for safety. This invariably is taking attention away from your two year old - most of the time probably.

What your older child may be expressing is probably the 'normal' need to knowo he is still loved despite your younger baby's closeness and cuteness. Think how you wouldl feel if your partner brought home a new lover and asked you to share your attention!

Is it possible to assign some time to nursing him all by himself at a predictable time each day? and also giving him sme special 'big boy' time that is all his -perhaps doing an activity with him that is only for him without your little one present - eg a class? or simply a walk together when your partner is available but at a set time that he can count on as 'his time' - and make a fuss of this.

By getting your complete focus, he may not need to demand to nurse as often. It may also be easier to work on 'othermothering' over the school holidays as his siblings are home to divert and when there isnt so much pressure to put yourself in situations such as school assembly where he is understandably bored/ you are sitting down and possibly nursing your little one . It really is more difficult with more kids - my tandem nursers were nos 3 and 4 too - just letting you know they could nurse a bit longer than the first two - mine did!

There is a book "Adventures in Tandem nursing " available from Mothers direct

Pinky