What's an 18 month old like?

[Tea Lady]

Hi all,

DH and I are thinking about maybe TTC #2 soon - Jo would be 18 months if all went ahead straight away, but I'm not really sure if I would cope with the age gap so small - basically wondering if anyone can fill me in on what sort of thing I could expect from an 18 monther. I know they're all so different, but I'd like some idea how long they can play on their own, whether they like make believe play, how long they sleep for in the daytime etc etc (not that I would be just trying to get her out of my face all day, but I need to get some idea of what it would be like trying to manage a newborn as well!). Any info would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Lucy

[the_queen]

Hi Lucy,

like you say, all children are different - but here's my experience:

Our Princess, Vallerie, is now 4. When she was 18 months old, she was still having a sleep during the day (because otherwise the "witching hour" would be completely unbearable.... i would put her down for a nap after lunch, and then she'd go to bed at night about 8pm, and would wake in the morning about 7am.) . She still needed constant supervision and didn't like it when I tried to make her play by herself. She loved it when I played with her, playing dress ups or playing blocks, or taking her outside and playing with a ball etc etc. She was very aware that she was "the centre of my world" and began having tantrums because she couldn't express herself properly. She wasn't waking in the night anymore at that point.

Hope this helps you a bit! I think any age gap can work, as long as both your kids know that you love them to pieces (which I'm sure you do!) and as long as you can personally handle it. I'm someone who (even though I really really wanted to be the perfect housewife and mother) all this stuff doesn't really come that naturally to me. So I guess I know my personal limitations, and so we waited a while before having number 2. We will have a few months of Vallerie at home with the new baby, before she starts school - at which point I can focus all my energies on the new baby, just like I did with Vallerie. BUT every family, every mother, every situation is different. I don't have any family around me at all, none of my friends had kids (and I barely see any of those friends anymore), and Vallerie had a congenital deformity (cleft lip) which required surgeries at 3 months, 11 months, and another in the next few months, so all of that factored into our "age gap" decision.

Good luck with your decision!

:)

[TwoBlue]

Hi Lucy

My Ds just turned 19 months and i am currently 35 weeks pregnant

Ds is a great kid but i do think this is a difficult age mainly due to MASSIVE frustration levels as they still cannot communicate as well as they would like to.
He prefers to play with me or DH but does enjoy play time on his own also.
He has one sleep during the day (anything from 1.5 - 3.5 hours long) he sleeps quite well at night and only wake maybe once if something is bothering him but resettles very well.

I think in regards to being this pregnant and his age the hardest part for me right now is changing nappies and dressing him (because he hates both things!) getting down on the floor and playing with him and just "being on the ball" enough to cope with his age eg: when its time for food its time for food NOW and i just cant be bothered getting myself off the couch !! IYKWIM !!

But overall i am happy that we are having the smaller gap and i believe DS will cope very well with his baby bro when he arrives and then they can be great mates and play together (hopefully!!)

But i do agree that all children are different and your experience may be completely different to mine and also i believe that no perfect age gap exists so you just go with what feels right to you.

[MonMic]

My two are 25months apart, and I would say it is harder if you leave it just that extra bit longer till the 1st is over 2.

I remeber under 2 our DD would play by herself quite happily, I would spend about 1/2 an hour with her 1:1 and then she would happily go off by herself for a while, but once she reached two that changed and she started wanting more and more 1:1 time. At 18mnths she was still having a 2 hour day nap and sleeping through the night and Feeding herself.

We deceided to have ours 2 years apart as the kids can play together easily later on as they will be playing with the same kinds of toys, we have seen other people's kids and they end up great friends if they are quite close together, where as if they are more than 3 years apart then they are at different developmental stages.

I knew that the 1st 6 months was going to be hard, but once No. 2 is sitting up then alot of the stress is taken away as they can begin to play together.

Remember kids often regress a bit when a new baby comes along no matter what age they are.

good luck with whatever you choose
M

[our little treasures]

My dd was 18mnths when ds came along she was geat at the start used to put her arms up with a nappy and say tah pease for us to let her change ds..

She has fed herself since 12mnths so there was no probs there slept in her own single bed but slept in ours as well she sleeps thru all his noise. She has played with babies since around 10mnt6hs putting bottle in bubs mouths - pretend play.

saying this she is 21mnths now and daylan is 12wks and she adores him but likes alot more attention i have found that the last cpl days she has been smacking his face really hard!!! but she also does this to another girl alot sml than her, she has a nephew that thinks he is her mummy and hits my dd so i think she is imitating..

Personally I love it It is so much work as I had the 2 in nappies I then trained dd so now she goes toilet but I have to dumped everything to get her there in 30 sec I do find bfeeding all the time gets my dd a bit stroppy as mummy has day day all the time (her name for him). He may be 3mnths but feeds somedays every hr loves the boob.. I have my days like today put ds down after getting him to sleep he woke 45mins later then put dd down (i stay with her for 10 mins then leave) she decided to pull all my make up out and stay awake for another 1hr and 20 mins even though she was ready for sleep. Came out and ds wanted sleep so held him to sleep 3HRS Later not including the 2 bfeeds i did and the 2 nappies 3 toilet stops(excuses) I finally have them both down and hence why i'm typing this post!!!

Let me tell you my dh appreciates all the hard work i've done and no longer wnats to be a sahd!! hehe

[Supermum]

My two are 15½ months apart. In the beginning it was difficult because I had a rampant toddler (and man was he rampant!) unable to communicate effectively and a newborn. However, his routine was well established and he slept for 2-3 hours each lunchtime allowing me time with DD and getting things done. We played mostly in DS's room. I also put a chair in the room so I could feed DD while reading to DS and a bouncinette so she could watch what was going on when she wasn't sleeping. I had a sling so I could carry DD if she was unsettled.

Whilst challenging at the beginning, I'm so glad we had them close together. Now 1½ and 2½, they play together really well and keep each other occupied.

I also found at 15½ months, DS was unperturbed by our new girl. He just used to survey her as he would a doll, occasionally poking or prodding or patting. He wasn't yet at the age where he was that possessive of me so letting go to make way for a new addition was never an issue.

And now, 1½ years on, he can't remember a time when she wasn't around.

Good luck!

[poshBecks]

- basically wondering if anyone can fill me in on what sort of thing I could expect from an 18 monther.


WEll ds will be 20 months when bub arrives, he is 18mths at the moment though...

Ds is full of beans!!! He needs something to do all the time pretty much. He does play on his own a lot though :p He plays a little bit of make believe, he has a tea set & he stirs the cups & stuff. He loves cars, so if i give him a few cars to play with he is set for ages!! I recently got my old Barbie car down for him to have a go of & he just loves it!!

He is starting to test his boundaries a bit now, which is a little frustrating by the end of the day when I'm tired & just want to sit down & watch MASH!! LOl
But, if I give him a new toy or activity to play with it distracts him some. Crayons are beinning to be hit too.
I'm thinking of starting him with paints... :rolleyes: I wonder whether it's worth the mess? LOL

Ds only has one sleep during the day now, but it lasts for about 3 hours which is GREAT!!

Anyway I'm sure you'll be fine Lucy!!
Good luck!!
:D

[Peaceangels]

Although we did not choose to have such a small age gap (took us 5yrs to fall pg with DS1 and DS2 was a complete wonderful surprise), it was hard at first, but now they play beautifully together and entertain each other.
I personally found with the 14.5mth age gap that DS1 was at an age where jealousy was not an issue, as long as I kept him a part of what was happening with the baby he was happy. I have also tried to spend one on one time with DS1 every day (even if it is just reading books at bedtime).
I think there will be challenges with any age gap (based on developmental stages), but the best advice I can give you for your 18mth old is to have a really good routine established, so that you can spend time with your newborn during toddlers sleep time etc. The hardest time is probably when you are feeding the newborn, as the toddler doesnt quite understand why you can't play with them, so you may have to juggle both sometimes.
Also, when I came home from hospital DH walked in with DS2 while I went straight to DS1, gave him a "special" gift for being a big brother and spent time with him alone.
ENJOY - :D

[Tea Lady]

Thanks for all the good advice everyone. I'm pleased to see that the age gap can work well. Now we just have to wait and see......!

L