My Poor Baby boy

[Desertress]

Im not really sure what part of the circumsicion section to put this in and i kinda need advice from both sides so i will post it here.

I have just taken my 14mth old ds to the drs as he has had a very tight forskin from birth and i was worried about it. I did point it out when he was having his frist checkup after being born but was told that there would be plenty of time to do sonething about it later on if need be. So i have left it until now and i took him back today.

The dr looked at it and said that there was no way i would be able to get away without him having to have some sort of surgery on it... maybe just a cut up the side to loosen the skin or maybe he will have to be circumsiced. This has upset me quiet alot because i am dead against circumsicions because of the pain involved and now mybaby might have to get one. I guess im just scared for him because i really have no idea whats goingt o happen.

DH is being a complete A$$hole about it because he wanted both boys circumsiced from the start but i wouldnt let him. Now he is giving me a hard time saying that logan(our oldest) is going to feel like the odd one out because he isnt done... and that i should have just got them both done at birth like he wanted.

I even asked the dr about steriod creams or something to help loosen the skin and he said" or maybe a tablet?" Being smart about it. DH seemed to think that fine of him to say because i should have just got them done in the forst place and we wouldne be having the problem now.

Has anyone else ever had to have this sort or thing done at this age?? Has anyone got 1 child done and 1 not and how do they find being different? I guess i just have alot of questions because i dont know what is supposed to happen and im scared for my boy.
If anyone has had anything similar them please let me know.

[poodysmum]

Hi Kristen:wave:
I only have one son, and we had him circumcised at 12weeks old. We had it done by a doctor who specialises in circumcisions here in Brisbane called Dr Terry Russell. He uses the plastibell method which we found to be very effective, and it didnt bother him at all. I think he does do older children too. Obviously as you are up north you will want to see someone up there. If you send me a PM I will give you Dr Russell's surgery details, and maybe you can give them a call and discuss what you could do. They are really lovely (as is he), and it might help to put your mind at ease and come to some solution. Hope this helps. :hugs:

Alli

[vanillabean]

Maybe you could change Drs! He sounds a little too pushy for my liking.

[Desertress]

Poodysmum.... Thanks for the info but i dont think the bell method will work on chase as his forskin is extremely tight on one side and dosnt retract at all. Thats why they might have to cut the side. Not sure how they will do a circumcision on him though because there is noway anything would fit under the skin because its just so tight.

Thank you again anyway.

I have been refered to a specialist up here the visits from townsville DR Harry Stedlwski or something like that.. we go to see him on the 2nd of feb.

[poodysmum]

I hope that it all works out ok-let us know how it goes:)

Alli

[sarah81]

My DS has a tight foreskin. We have been told to wait a while and if no improvement then use a steriod cream. But if there is no improvement then he will require surgery. My DP has a similar attiutude to yours :gloomy:

Maybe get a second opinion because maybe the steriod cream may be an option?

Good luck.

[defaipe]

ok i have two brothers.. one was done.. the oldest one as he was born in 78 and thats just what happened.. the next was born in 82, same dr delivered but it was no longer considered to norm to him so he wouldnt do it and it was the only dr my mum would consider as she trusted him.. long story short they are now 28 & 24 and there has never been one issue about it.. theres a 3.5yr gap though but they still peed behind bushes together :laughing: so they saw each other..

my sister has 4 boys.. the two older ones have both been circumsized at age 7 & 10 due to the same prob your son has.. they had no problems with pain or anything but they were knocked out while it was done(as i assume your son would be?) it hurt for a day or so afterwards but nothing hey couldnt handle.. kids are robust little buggers..

she also has 2yrold twins who she didnt get circ'd as she still believes its unneccesary so if they have the same prob(which they have a higher chance of having) then they will deal with it then.

i wish you all the best with your decision. but dont feel bad about having two boys one done and one not. its not your fault he needs the op. just think of it as tonsillitis.. you wouldnt have one sons tonsils ripped out that didnt need it done would ya :D

take care! & ignore that hubby of yours!!

[pookiesossige]

Kristen, I really think you need a second opinion. 18 months old is early for a foreskin to be able to retract! It usually happens after age 4 through to 13.

About having him look like his bro- no circumsised penis looks the same- the same amount of skin can't be removed each time and every time this type of cosmetic surgery is conducted, the outcome is different. Sometimes two circ'ed penises look worlds apart and that's the way it's always been...

I wanna send HEAPS of these :hugs: :hugs: your way, because this is obviously a huge strain on your relationship at the moment and you must feel so helpless... Just do the best you can (despite your DH's stance on this) and get the opinion of another doc. IMO that is what everyone should do anyway- whether they always intended to get their boys 'done' or not. It's not to argue a case or 'prove' that you're right- just to do the best thing by your children :thumbsup: :yes:

[DQ]

I have had 2 boys, both circumsized. My eldest DS was circ at 12 months and my youngest DS circ at 2 weeks.

Both procedures went well with absolutely no problems. There was even no difference between having one son done later or the other being done while still young.

Good luck with your decision. It is such a personal, emotive decision. :hugs: to you.

[pookiesossige]

Oh, and can I give you this link? It might help when it comes to 'educating' your DH and is an easy, interesting and medically-backed and internationally recognised site anyway (not just some vauge googled cr@p): http://www.circinfo.org/parents.html


A small percentage of boys and men have foreskins with an unusually small opening, which can be difficult to retract (phimosis) or become stuck behind the glans and cause swelling (paraphimosis). For paraphimosis, a doctor can compress the glans and let the foreskin return to its normal position. In both cases, the opening of the foreskin can then be increased by twice daily application of a steroid cream for 4-6 weeks (2). In severe but rare cases where scarring has occurred, a small incision may also be needed. Although paraphimosis is a rare problem, it can be serious, and urgent medical attention is required.

[Yasmeena]

Desertress - my younger son had an operation on his penis (with Dr Stalewski in Townsville) when he was about 15 months.
He was born with a hyperspadius and now has a penis that appears to be circumcised (the surgeon used the foreskin to fix the hyperspadius).
My elder son has a perfectly healthy penis so they do look 'different'.
In regards to them looking different, it has never been a problem :) they look different in lots of ways, they have different coloured eyes and hair, one of them is taller than the other, they both know why Caleb's penis is different, it's because he had to have an operation and it is not really an issue.
I really don't think that is a good reason to perform unecessary surgery on Logan.
If Chase had a cleft lip would your husband suggest modifying Logan's face so that they are not 'different'? Of course not, so why modify a perfectly healthy penis?
I actually worry about Caleb being the 'odd one out' because circumcision is no longer performed very often and he will have a penis that looks different from the norm for his generation, so I wouldn't use that as an argument for unecessary circumcision.
Having a child go through surgery is awful for anyone, :hugs: it's horrible to think of your precious baby experiencing pain and I think most parents would avoid it if they could (I certainly would have:crying: )
The best thing you can do is research all your options so you can make an informed decision about what is best for Chase.
feel free to pm me if you want to ask me questions about Dr Stalewski or anything :wave:

[Desertress]

I just thought i had better clarify that we were in no way considering getting logan done just because chase might have to. I was just worried about how the difference would be because both daddy and chase might be done and logan wouldnt'. There is no way i would put logan through it when it wasnt needed and i hope chase's problem can be fixed simply without it as well.

When you went to see Dr stalewski do you know if he just does the ops or if he would maybe reccomend the cream instead. Im not exactly sure what he does even... i just know he is a specialist and we were refered to him by the dr.

[theycallmemum]

I agree completely. I was told my second son wold absolutely have to be circ'd when he was 5 because his foreskin was too tight and too long.

I was really upset about it but the surgeon we were referred to took one look and said basically the doctor was an idiot and my son absolutely didn't need to be done.

I would take your son to a urologist and see what he/she says.

[Desertress]

Yasmeena- Is dr Stalewski a urologist??? I will wait and see what he has to say about it... but i will definatley be asking about the steroid cream.

[Yoshua]

can I ask why you think the foreskin is tight?


You aren't trying to retract it are you? The foreskin is supposed to be TIGHT TIGHT for the first few years of life so that it can't be retracted without force.

You actually aren't supposed to attempt to retract it at all until the boy can on his own, which can happen sometime between 3 years old and 18, there is an actual bond that the foreskin has to the head of the penis to keep it protected.


Anyways, I wouldn't worry about it unless your son has obvious problems with urinating. There is no need to clean out anything under the foreskin, so it seems odd to me to worry about if it is 'tight' or not so early in his life. It is supposed to be, it is natural.


Do you retract? retracting can actually cause a condition called Phimosis, which is where the ridged band is damaged a bit and while it is healing it can tighten up because it doesnt like to be retracted until the boys body gives the hormones off to become retractible.

Phimosis is the tightening of the foreskin, and there are 2 kinds.

Bacterial and Normal.


Bacterial phimosis is usually caused by retracting the foreskin before it is ready and an infection takes place. It can give off a greenish secretion, like smegma but not white and anti-biotics are sometimes needed to heal it.


Normal phimosis is what all infants and toddlers have from birth. It goes away usually between 3 years old and 6 years old but can sometimes last until teen agers. The steroid cream used to cure this usually isn't prescribed or recommended until your son is in there teens, or sexually active and still can not retract.



There are also stretching methods he can use when he is older, but really unless he is not able to pee, there isn't anything to worry about.


Rule of thumb is 'do not retract' and 'if they can urinate fine with no pain, they probably are fine'

[Desertress]

I am aware that you are not supposed to retract the forskin and no thats not what i have been doing. His penis is kinked in on one side where the skin is extremnely tight. I know this because thats how is looks and when he gets his baby erections the penis gets squashed down a bit in the skin because it cant get past the skin.

[3times]

Kristen
I have a 4yr old who has the same problem as your ds, he was constantly red and when he urinated it would squirt out. We tired all the creams and things to try and 'fix' it up. The initial treatments were on the recommendation of our local GP's, the cream they suggest u try for 2 months, we try for 6. Never seem to work so we got a referral to a specialist and she gave us 2 choices, circumcision or a cut..... both meant a general, both meant swelling and stiches, but the cut wasn't 100% to fix the problem. DH (not done) and I discussed it and after watching his penis ballon one to many times my husband said fix it once and for all.

DS had surgery yesterday, last night he wee'd straight for the first time and today he is playing with his bro and sis and has to be reminded to take it easy.

[Yasmeena]

I think Dr Stalewski is a paediatric specialist as far as I can remember - (it was about 4 years ago!) not sure about urologist or whatever, was referred to him by the hospital (as the problem was obvious when Caleb was born)
He does perform the operations, I had to go to Townsville for the sugery as he didn't do it in Cairns.
I don't think he'd recommend surgery unless it was necessary, and I'd hope if the steroid cream was sufficient he would do that first.
:fingerscrossed: hope dear Chase won't need surgery

[Desertress]

Well i hope so to. At least i know that he wont just do the surgery... i will be asking about the cream because i really dont want chase to have any type of surgery unless he really needs it.

We go to see him on the 2nd of feb so i will know then:fingerscrossed:

[Desertress]

Well i take my baby to the specialist on friday and im scared to death that he is going to say he needs surgery. He is so little and i just cant stand the thought of him having to be put through any kind of pain. I just dont know how i will cope if he needs surgery. I never wanted either of my boths circumsiced and now it looks like the choice might be taken away from me and i hate it.

:fingerscrossed: That i can just use a cream or someting but from the looks of it im not go0ing to get away that easy.:gloomy: I will let you know how it goes after friday.Wish me luck

[cwsmum]

:hugs: Good luck for friday :hugs: Try not to worry too much, wait and see what the specialist says first :)

[OscarTheGrouch]

Good luck.:fingerscrossed:

[MotherNurture]

Protect Your Uncircumcised Son: Expert Medical Advice for Parents (http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/circumcision/protect-uncircson.html)
By Paul M. Fleiss
Issue 103, November/December 103

The Development of Retractile Foreskin in the Child and Adolescent (http://doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/info/retraction.html)
(A guidance for healthcare providers)

Normal development of the prepuce:
Birth through age 18 (http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/)
(Includes info on "The Phony Phimosis Diagnosis")

Conservative Treatment of Phimosis:
Alternatives to Radical Circumcision (http://www.cirp.org/library/treatment/phimosis/)

Hope some of these resources are helpful,

Jen

[becca74]

this is a toughie....I was anti-circ for ages, and had drs telling me to circ my sons, and I wanted to wait and see. I found a urologist who supported me 'waiting to see' as he was also quite anti-circ, and was on the same page as me philosophically, but when my eldest reached age 5, we had to bite the bullet and have it done, along with his 3 year old brother as he had the same issues which were advancing along exactly the same lines.


It wasnt a walk in the park, tho I think it was most hardest on me and my husband. Our son appreciates being 'fixed' though, and will tell us this on occasion, as he remembers the difference between having the problems and now how straightforward being circ'd is for him.

I do feel guilty that we hadnt done them earlier. We had our recent son done at about 8 days of age, and we had it done by a Mohel (Jewish circumciser). They do it quicker and with much more expertise than a surgeon. I just wasnt going to put another son through the pain, shame and trauma that I'd put my older boys through.

I have 2 brothers who had the same issue and were circ'd at age 4 and also my father was done (cant remember how old he was exactly)....I'd been pre-warned to be pre-emptive about it, but I didnt want to. But we cant go back and change the past now.

If you have family history, then the signs usually are correct. If you have no family history, then most likely your son will grow out of it. Find out how common it is in your family, and maybe base your decision on that?

If anyone has any stories of boys who had the stretching/steroid treatment that worked, I would love to see it. Our 2 year old is showing signs, and I'll consider giving it a go, but I refuse to allow him to go through this molestation style procedure unless I've seen cold hard evidence that it actually works, and I'd like to hear testimonials of boys who went through it as children. It really does make me nauseous, the thought of someone fiddling with my son like that :barf:

[reAllytee]

Its not just that Becca but many other complications can come from steriod creams as well as over usage of antibiotics.

Its a very tough choice.

Hope you have some answers & a plan of action.

[becca74]

Its not just that Becca but many other complications can come from steriod creams as well as over usage of antibiotics.



yep this makes me nervous.....I think we'll just have to get him circ'd and get it over and done with. I want to do it sooner rather than later.....I feel like an evil mother, the longer I keep putting it off.....:gloomy:

[reAllytee]

yep this makes me nervous.....I think we'll just have to get him circ'd and get it over and done with. I want to do it sooner rather than later.....I feel like an evil mother, the longer I keep putting it off.....:gloomy:

Oh hun i do not envy your position :hugs: :hugs:

I really hope that whichever route you choose it works for your little man.

And your not evil at all so dont say that !!!!!!! :shame:

[Desertress]

well this time tomorow i will be on my way to Ds's appointment. I am really hoping that there will be an alternative to circumcision... if thats even a viable option.... it just looks so confusing to me. Its not just the fact that its tight on one side but that the skin is still attched right down inside and dosnt look like it would retract at all...(YES I am aware its not supposed to retract fullt at the age) but the dr said it should be at least a little.

The though of my baby having to be operated on or cut is terrifying and i hate it. I really hope theres a simple fix for him.:fingerscrossed:

[xkwzit]

Hi Kristen

Firstly big :hugs: to you and your little man. I will be thinking of you and hoping that you get a clear outcome that you are happy with.

Try not to worry too much until you have all your facts.

Cheers