controlled crying

[HanCh]

DD is 8 weeks tomorrow, and pretty much ever since she was born we have had to rock her off to sleep. I am just wondering if it is too early to start the controlled crying thing because we want her to start trying to get herself off to sleep. It is usually ok of a night because she usually only half wakes up for her bottle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

[sweetsugardumplin']

Hmmmmmm There are lots of theories on an appropriate age to begin CC. I guess it's what you feel comfortable with.

But rocking off to sleep does create sleep association and this in turn may make it difficult for your bub to fall asleep by themsleves.

Just had a memory flicker........3 months comes to mind. But again you have to feel okay with CC, cause once you start it's important to continue

Sorry, don't feel like I've been much help !:hugs:

Keep us posted

Mumma2370

[aimz]

Hi There

i started CC with my bub at 7 weeks.... just putting her down in her bassinette and walking away listening to her cries and then responding when necessary... generally i did 5 minute intervals.... i think its completely up to the individual though if you feel comfortable go for it if not maybe leave it a bit longer.....

There will be a bucket load of differing opinions out there saying never do it, not before 6 months, do it etc etc.... if its right for you then so be it! i did it as my DD wasn't sleeping at all during the day.....

[MariaO]

I personally think it is very young to think of CC. Are you using a dummy at all? My little one used a dummy for sleeps at around that age and was able to self settle for day time naps anyway.

[misskittyfantastico]

I believe 8 weeks is too young. I would stick to gentle methods like PN has suggested.

[Elicia]

CC never worked for my babies at any stage. They used to just keep crying for over an hour. I found with my first I would cuddle for a while and then when she started to drift off but before she was asleep I would put her down and pat her. Then bit by bit cuddles got less and I just put her straight in with a little pat. For my son... I got into a bad habbit of cuddling because my daughter would have to come into the room and it would disturb him. I cuddled him to sleep until he was nearly six months old. If I tried the CC he would just scream the house down. I was at my whits end & called Riverton for help but they just said to leave him which I had already tried. I just got to the point where I had to and luckily something must have clicked with him because he accepted it. Now all I do is take him to his room, put some music on and place him in his cot and walk out.

[Mrs Potts]

We did CC with DS from 6 weeks, on the advice of our MCHN as he barely slept. It was a modified version and we only left him for 2 minutes at a time, and the duration never got longer than 2 minutes. (With older bubs you would do 2, 4, 6 minutes and so on).

If you are comfortable with the idea, then don't let anyone else put you off. After all, it's your child not theirs!

I can highly recommend a book called "sleep right, sleep tight". It has a lot of great ideas to help you with settling. Good luck.

[Ange&Seth]

We started CC at about 3 weeks of age, which many ppl say is too young, but I just was beside myself. It had gotten to the point that DS would only sleep when I was holding him, as soon as I put him in the cot he'd wake. I just wasn't getting any sleep and it was terrible. So, I put him in his cot and went and had a quick shower. Basically I was in the shower for enough time to get wet and then I jumped out again. I was probably in there for less than 2 mins, and when I got out, he was asleep.

The next time, I put him down and left him for 2 mins, then went in and cuddled, then put him down for another 2 mins.

He got the hang of it in about 2 days and now he's a perfect sleeper. In fact, he rarely falls asleep with us anymore. If he wakes through the night (which he almost never does) we pick him up and cuddle him, then put him back down and he's fine to go back to sleep.

Like the others have already said, if you don't feel comfortable with it, then don't do it. It works for some and not others, just like co-sleeping and cloth nappies LOL - just do what's right for you and your family :thumbsup:

[poshBecks]

The guy who wrote the book about CC only recommended it after 6 months. Personally I am uncomfortable with it before 6 months, I found it horrible to leave my bub crying when I knew that she felt unsafe, or whatever. After 6 months though I noticed a behaviour thing happen with sleeps & it was clear that she would just start crying for me because she didn't want to miss out. Thats when I started CC. For Ella it only took a couple of days for her to learn. She's great now.

[qldgirl6]

Below is a good website to start things gently:
www.karitane.com.au (http://www.karitane.com.au). They have different strategys for different ages. I found it very helpfulwith my two!

[Sheer Bliss]

We used CC - sort off, but when DD was 7months. I personally think 8weeks is too young. Their little bodies overheat so easily at such a young age, and often if they are crying there is a need should be met, even if it is just a comfort cuddle.
Maybe try a sling during the day for comfort?

[ShadyCharacter]

Most CC advocates and 'experts' do not recommend CC at all before 6 months. Plenty of other mothers etc will, but I have never seen someone who has actually got an educated view on the subject recommend it before 6 months :no:

[Mrs Potts]

Just wanted you to know..I am not anti CC..but the OP asked if we thought it was too early..some will some wont..its not puttign her off just offering different opinions.

Of course it is always up to the person to then decide..no one is trying to put you off..
I don't want to get into a heated "discussion" here, but my comment was a general one, I didn't mention your name or anyone elses.

[Aquamarine]

Have you tried putting baby in a pram to sleep at night.

My 4 and 2 year olds both slept in their prams at night until they were 6 months because they constantly woke up in the cots.

If baby sleeps in the same room as you you can even try rocking the pram while you are in bed.

Just a thought and good luck.

I know how you feel my baby boy is 10 weeks and not a great sleeper (none of my boys were).



Me (31)
DH (31)
DS (4)
DS (2)
DS (10 weeks)

[Cupcake]

I think it is to young.
DD was a shocking sleeper but at 10 weeks she started to sleep through, the day was a different story(& did not improve until about 15mths) at 8mths DD started to wake all night long again & I did what I could to get through the night(cuddles,bottles,co-sleeping) I then decided to do CC at 14mths & it took about 3 nights, she has been a great sleeper ever since. I just did not feel ready to do it any sooner.
Good luck, do what you feel suits you, sleeping issues are very stressful.

[ShadyCharacter]

Your mental state and health needs to come first.
Come first over what? The infants mental state and health? :confused:

Yes, a non-sleeping baby is difficult to deal with, but I don't think it is worth putting their emotional well-being ahead of your own for. And as I said above, even 'expert' CC advocates don't recommend CC before 6 months as they feel it is damaging to an infant :no:

[Ange&Seth]

I think we can all agree that it shouldn't be done unless the parent(s) feel comfortable with it.

Having said that, there are alot of definitions of controlled crying out there. I don't believe that my son's emotional well-being and health were compromised by us letting him self settle. Each parent knows what their babies cries mean, and you learn to work with that. Yes I let my son cry himself to sleep, BUT if I can tell that he is distressed, then I go and comfort him.

I get the impression that the strong anti-CCers think that we leave our children to cry even when distressed, but for me, that just wasn't the case. And I don't think anyone would leave their child to cry when they were distressed.

This post isn't directed at anyone in particular, I have just noticed this opinion on other CC threads.

[Mrs Potts]

hehe posting sux sometimes. I wasn't having a go either, but sometimes it comes across that way in the forums....

and I know what you mean about someone always getting upset :rolleyes:

[mysonroger]

I woudl say too young..

I did CC after 6 months.
I just think that at the bubba age they need bonding..if you really want to get them to sleep without rocking ..could you try putting bub in cot or bassinette and patting adn stroking till they fall asleep??

i agree with this......patting and stroking and soothing. that's what i did from memory.

A word of advice - if you're are going to do it, make sure you get yourself in the right mental state to be very patient. it takes a bit of time and sometimes you may feel like you're getting nowhere. or a sore back from bending over doing the patting and stroking.

when i did it with my DS i started on a monday, so DH wasn't home to hinder/help, and i didn't go anywhere that week - i would just stay home and let nothing interfere with the self settling or his routine. anyway, its not forever....and DS turned out to be an amazing sleeper. and at 2.7yrs, he still is.

good luck

[OJandMe]

I used CC with the boys, but not until after they had started sleeping through the night. While we were still nursing them to sleep once they were sleeping through, then if they woke up during the night we would CC when putting them back after checking nappies.

Developmentally I think 8 weeks is definately too young! At that age babies do not understand that you and them are seperate people, and babies usually start 'sleeping through' at about 3 or so months, which actually means they still wake up sometimes during the night, but will settle themselves back to sleep without crying, without you even knowing about it! I reccomend that once bubs starts sleeping through, then you can give it a go, but try and keep the crying periods relatively short, and definately use patting and stroking to sooth bubs in the cot.

Have you given her a comforter? teddy or something? We found this helped the boys. We wrapped the teddys in the shirt I slept in for a couple of days so that they smelled like Mummy, and it really helped the boys to settle. So maybe introduce that before you start the CC... and maybe nurse bubs to sleep with the teddy tucked into her arms so that they begin to associate teddy with sleeping, and get used to sleeping with the teddy... then when you withdraw your comfort, they won't feel 'so' abandoned.

(sorry this was so long)

[ShadyCharacter]

And the comment "damaging to an infant", i think a load of bollocks.I wasn't stating that was my own opinion, I was saying that was the opinion of CC "experts" - those that advocate CC.

[Mrs Potts]

Have you given her a comforter? teddy or something? We found this helped the boys. We wrapped the teddys in the shirt I slept in for a couple of days so that they smelled like Mummy, and it really helped the boys to settle. So maybe introduce that before you start the CC... and maybe nurse bubs to sleep with the teddy tucked into her arms so that they begin to associate teddy with sleeping, and get used to sleeping with the teddy... then when you withdraw your comfort, they won't feel 'so' abandoned.

(sorry this was so long)

In theory this is a great idea. However, it would be a SIDS risk for the baby.

Also if the OP's bub isn't currently feeding to sleep then starting now would be just shifting the problem as it is then something else that will have to be changed down the track.

JMO of course.

[Chanelc]

I think a bit young for control crying but I am no expert.
I have to suggest "Sounds of Silience" CD you can buy at Baby Bunting. It worked for my little one I still use it at 11months. It settles them to sleep - it is the best thing I ever bought and you wont need to do control crying.

[blueangel]

I have been doing CC with my DS since he was about 6 weeks, he is now 11 weeks and settles himself really well. I think it depends on what different people mean by CC. Some people think of it as letting you baby cry for 40 mins or more until they fall asleep.I would only let my bub cry for a max of 5 mins, 9 out of 10 times he would be asleep within 2-3 mins. I tried a dummy, pram, rocking but he would still cry for 2-3 mins before dropping of to sleep only to wake up looking for dummy or me. At least in his cot he stays asleep. I think it was just his way of winding down before sleep. I did CC with my other DS when he was 8 months and it was so much harder, he would cry for 30 mins and I just could not handle it. Each child is different, it is just a matter of doing what both you and bub are comfortable with.Goodluck.

[lilpearl]

There are a couple of important issues to look at before deciding to use controlled crying. The baby needs to have a sound understanding of space and time. For this reason, it's important that a baby is crawling, and therefore gets to understand that just because your not in the room, doesn't mean your not there, as they can find you in various rooms of the house. Another sign that they are grasping the "if I can't see it doesn't mean it's not there" sense is if they start dropping food from their high chair, or toys from their pram, and actually look down at the floor to try and find them again. At 8 weeks, waking often is still very normal - one reason being that they still need many feeds in a day. Also, they are still in the early stages of making sense of the world and sensations, and need your re-assurance (it wasn't very long ago that they were safe within your womb). I'm certainly not anti-controlled crying (and use it on my children once they are around a year old, if they are pushing some sleep boundaries when there is nothing else wrong with them). However, It is recommended that controlled crying isn't started until a baby is at least 6-months old, and the closer to one year, the better. Hope that helps in answering your question. :)

[ReneS]

I forgot i already posted in ths thread LOL!! So below is a more detailed version of this post!
(I think my brain is still in pg mode PML)

[Snuffys Mum]

I started cc with my ds at about 7 weeks and it worked a charm straight away. The trick is just knowing if they're crying because something is wrong or just because they're grizzling (yes I appreciate that is easier said than done lol!). I too had fallen into the trap of rocking him to sleep and wanted to get out of it quick smart. I have found the book Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall to be an absolute sanity saver. Doesn't work for everyone but definately worked for me.

[ReneS]

I haven't read the other replys, but i bought a e-book called sleep sense and it talks about doing the groundwork now so that your baby has the skills that she needs when he is old enough.
I quickly skimmed through the birth to 3 months section and this is what it says...


When bedtime approaches, you should start a routine like looking at books, bath, or a massage and always conclude with a feed to make sure your baby's belly is full before he goes to sleep, then lay him in his crib awake.

Keep an eye on him that he doesn't doze off during his feed.

If your baby starts to fuss when laid in the crib, pick him up and walk around the room a bit till he is calm, once he is calm, you can lay him back down in his crib. Wait a few minutes to see how he will respond, fussing is ok, but when the crying starts, you should pick him up and walk around the room until he is calm, and then put him back into the crib.
You should repeat this process as many times as it takes fo him to fall asleep. Now remember, you want him to fall asleep in the crib, so resist the temptation of letting him fall asleep in your arms. You don't want to teach your newborn to fall asleep in your arms. The goal is for him to fall asleep in his crib.

It then goes onto step 2 and night feedings, but you get the picture.

I think this is a good way of CC for that age, and it does teach them the tools of going to sleep on their own, without letting them cry like when their older.
Hope this helped!:)