Mamaduke
28-11-2006, 19:30
Christmas time is almost upon us and I started thinking about the 'wonderful:rolleyes: ' Christmas' I've had with the in-laws...it's so strange, your world (when you get married), is engulfed by what can sometimes be, very very odd people who are now related to you and their even more peculiar holiday rituals...let me share a post I made about a year ago...
Here we go again.
Christmas is coming and please don't get me wrong, since having the kids Christmas has regained all of it's fun and excitement that it had when I was a child, but it's the dreaded trip to the in laws which has me feeling like a vent!
Every year it's the same thing - Christmas Eve is spent at one of the family members' houses. A couple of years ago our son fell as he got out of the bath and split his lip, DH called and said we were running late because we couldn't stop the bleeding - laughter was all he got from the other end...yes, a child falling and bleeding can be misconstrued as funny I guess!!! :rolleyes:
When we got there everyone was waiting impatiently to begin the yearly ritual of 'funny ha ha' Christmas (no one else in the family knows my name for it)
This is when you buy something for a selected member of the family, and it must be funny. These are not funny people.
I got a toy iron because I don't like ironing (hilarious I know), the next year I got a can of Preen (ohhh it just gets funnier!)
Also, the table is always set with about 20 lit candles and lollies at my children's height - one year DS took a bite of a chocolate only to realise he didn't want it. He then went to give it to his grandfather (Monty Burns) who wouldn't eat it because DS had taken a bite out of it!
I assured him that he'd had all of his shots!
Then comes the riveting part of the evening...
SIL (the Ice princess) and her husband (the toad) do a skit!
Yes, my toddlers are told to be quiet while we listen to a story that the princess and the toad have written about Christmas - can't really remember what the last one was about but I did hear the word 'elves' mentioned several times and I know it went for about 20 minutes!
Then we have the congratulatory speeches by Monty Burns on what wonderful writers the princess and the toad are and how lucky we are to have two such gifted people in our family!
Then we all gather around and marvel at the princess and toad's other amazing creation - their c*cker spaniel.
Well isn't he just fabulous (you know he writes cards to 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa')...he is their baby!
When it comes time to eat something my kids are placed at the other end of the table to me with all sorts of plastic sheeting under them...while that marvelous little creature (the c*cker spaniel) is licking the plates in the dishwasher!!!!
All the fun and frivolity over, we then have to turn up again on Christmas Day after having lunch with my family!
My family isn't perfect but the one thing that happens is...the babies of the family are everything!
We leave a place where our kids are centre of attention to go to 'the bunker'.
Everything is always 'picture perfect' but no no no no don't touch...
One year we walked in and everyone virtually ignored us - ignore me okay, but ignore my kids - bye bye!
DH went over to Monty to tell him that our kids were there and Monty replied "I'll go to them in my own time" WHAT THE....
Then comes present time...the kids get great presents and the camera comes out to take the 'happy snaps' but let's see how far we can shove mum out of the picture - these kids will grow up and think I never spent Christmas at Grandma's with them!
Then comes my present...oh make sure all of the adults are seated at the table with full attention on me...open it up - thanks, it's a pair of leopard print pj's, oh and thanks size 28!!!
(that year was really hurtful, after I'd spent alot of time trying to find a book I'd heard 'smother-in-law' mention that she wanted)
Hurt has now turned to hate...
I love my DH to death but how can I be expected to endure this 'holiday hell' every year - & I can't even say "well, they're great with the kids"
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
'Tis the season to be jolly fa la la la la la la la ... :banghead:
Here we go again.
Christmas is coming and please don't get me wrong, since having the kids Christmas has regained all of it's fun and excitement that it had when I was a child, but it's the dreaded trip to the in laws which has me feeling like a vent!
Every year it's the same thing - Christmas Eve is spent at one of the family members' houses. A couple of years ago our son fell as he got out of the bath and split his lip, DH called and said we were running late because we couldn't stop the bleeding - laughter was all he got from the other end...yes, a child falling and bleeding can be misconstrued as funny I guess!!! :rolleyes:
When we got there everyone was waiting impatiently to begin the yearly ritual of 'funny ha ha' Christmas (no one else in the family knows my name for it)
This is when you buy something for a selected member of the family, and it must be funny. These are not funny people.
I got a toy iron because I don't like ironing (hilarious I know), the next year I got a can of Preen (ohhh it just gets funnier!)
Also, the table is always set with about 20 lit candles and lollies at my children's height - one year DS took a bite of a chocolate only to realise he didn't want it. He then went to give it to his grandfather (Monty Burns) who wouldn't eat it because DS had taken a bite out of it!
I assured him that he'd had all of his shots!
Then comes the riveting part of the evening...
SIL (the Ice princess) and her husband (the toad) do a skit!
Yes, my toddlers are told to be quiet while we listen to a story that the princess and the toad have written about Christmas - can't really remember what the last one was about but I did hear the word 'elves' mentioned several times and I know it went for about 20 minutes!
Then we have the congratulatory speeches by Monty Burns on what wonderful writers the princess and the toad are and how lucky we are to have two such gifted people in our family!
Then we all gather around and marvel at the princess and toad's other amazing creation - their c*cker spaniel.
Well isn't he just fabulous (you know he writes cards to 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa')...he is their baby!
When it comes time to eat something my kids are placed at the other end of the table to me with all sorts of plastic sheeting under them...while that marvelous little creature (the c*cker spaniel) is licking the plates in the dishwasher!!!!
All the fun and frivolity over, we then have to turn up again on Christmas Day after having lunch with my family!
My family isn't perfect but the one thing that happens is...the babies of the family are everything!
We leave a place where our kids are centre of attention to go to 'the bunker'.
Everything is always 'picture perfect' but no no no no don't touch...
One year we walked in and everyone virtually ignored us - ignore me okay, but ignore my kids - bye bye!
DH went over to Monty to tell him that our kids were there and Monty replied "I'll go to them in my own time" WHAT THE....
Then comes present time...the kids get great presents and the camera comes out to take the 'happy snaps' but let's see how far we can shove mum out of the picture - these kids will grow up and think I never spent Christmas at Grandma's with them!
Then comes my present...oh make sure all of the adults are seated at the table with full attention on me...open it up - thanks, it's a pair of leopard print pj's, oh and thanks size 28!!!
(that year was really hurtful, after I'd spent alot of time trying to find a book I'd heard 'smother-in-law' mention that she wanted)
Hurt has now turned to hate...
I love my DH to death but how can I be expected to endure this 'holiday hell' every year - & I can't even say "well, they're great with the kids"
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
'Tis the season to be jolly fa la la la la la la la ... :banghead: