Family secret santa dilemma...

[shelle65]

Warning - this is long, and I apologise if it seems really petty...

My Mum's side of the extended family is pretty big, so every year instead of buying christmas presents for everyone, the adults do a secret santa thingo. The rule is, if you are "grown up" and have a full time job, you have to be part of the secret santa, and if you are still a kid or still a student, you get cash that all the aunts and uncles (my mum's generation) chip in for.

Last year the amount you had to spend on your secret santa went up from $50 to $60. No biggie, inflation and all that. This year, I have just been informed that the amount you have to spend has gone up to $75. That's a bit more than CPI last time I checked...

Anyway, I am a bit uncomfortable with this. It's not that an extra $15 is going to break the bank, but... I generally don't spend that much money on my parents and siblings - $50 is usually the limit between all of us. And I would feel really wrong if I spent $50 on a christmas gift for my sister, who I am really close to, and $75 on some uncle that I see maybe twice a year!

Normally I would just spend that bit extra on my family to make it even, but... we are having a baby in March, so we are desperately saving for when we go down to one income and up to three members of the household, and right now we are trying really hard to get the credit cards under control... so adding another $150 to the christmas budget is going to ruin all of this. I so wish that I could just say "oh, it's only money, at christmas time it shouldn't matter" but unfortunately it really does. I haven't told DP about any of this yet - his family don't really do christmas presents (maybe small things for the kids) and I know he is going to think the whole thing is really over the top.

Anyway, my question is this - would it be wrong of me to just spend $50 on a secret santa present, when the present I am receiving is worth $75? Again, I'm sorry if this seems really petty... :tree:

[mum2elouise]

If i was you, i would spend jsut $50 on your secret santa. How are they to know?

BTW, who organises all this? Shouldn't you all get a say in how much you have to spend? I know you said that a rule is that you have to have a full-time job to participate but some people just scrape by after paying all their expenses, let alone spending $75 on some long lost rellie!

[sarah81]

We also do a Secret Santa for DP's family as it is huge. It is $100 for each adult whether you are studying or not:eek:

Perhaps talk to the person who organises the Secret Santa and find out if the person you have wants something that may be around the $50 rather than$75 mark. It is better to get someone something they want than getting them something that meets a particular price.

That way you wouldn't have to feel bad about the price, hopefully. Or you could ask for something worth $50 from your Secret Santa. Therefore only receiving what you spent.

That all being said, sorry for the ramble. People will understand that having a baby is expensive and that you will want to save money.

Good luck ;)

[Minke]

My DH's family does this and the amount your supposed to spend is between $25 - $30. The only person i spend more than $50 on (at xmas) outside of DH,DD and DS is my mum, but that's also a thank-you for looking after DD when i was working present... Do you have to hand in the receipt?? :laughing: If not - i'd go the $50.

[cwsmum]

This year, I have just been informed that the amount you have to spend has gone up to $75.
The way every secret santa I've ever been involved in has worked is there is an ammount set that you are not to spend more than, usually we have had a range of prices (one time it was $20-$30). I would spend whatever you think is appropriate for the person you are buying for, just consider the $75 ammount as the most anyone will be spending.
Christmas is not ment to be stressful so just spend what you can afford...maybe buy something cheaper and dress it up a bit to look like it cost more ;)

[Pinkbug]

We do it for my family also but our limit is $50 sometimes I find a great bargain that was $50 dollars but reduced to $40 its not a biggie they don't know the exact price u spend! and we have a baby on the way even my mum said not to worry for this year but we can manage just fine we bought ALL the christmas presents for our DD in middle of year we only have to buy for secret santas and my DP's parents so its not a huge hassle... also those who have children we buy them one each present so they're not left out at all

[shelle65]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions! :hugs:

I think you are all totally right - I will take the $75 as a "suggestion" only, and just spend what we can afford. I'll make sure that I put a lot of thought into it and get something imaginitive and it won't be obvious that I've gone a bit under the "suggested" amount, IYKWIM.

:thumbsup:

[missie_mack]

My DHs family do this and their limit is $50..... I find it pretty hard (IMO) to buy something for under $50 unless it is a sale item (or ebay :D )

My suggestion is if these people are such removed relo's and its difficult financially maybe its time to pull out of it?? If you succeed can you please tell me how to get out of it Ive been trying for years! I usually end up trying to palm my present off after christmas or hoping it will fall off the table

[Mikeswifey]

75 bucks is a bit steep for extended family.

We are having a Kris Kringle with my DH's siblings and their partners and our limit is $25.

Extended family dont even get thought about with us, we dont see them enough.

[jcb]

Wow our limit is $20.....

I would just buy something for say around $50 and dress it up a bit....besides who is going to know but you, unless they ask for a receipt I would just spend the $50.....

Its about the thought not the value anyway....

:tree:

[Elmopalooza]

I agree... Buy the $50 gift, they will never know!

[Rhoxie]

there are plenty of 20-30% off sales leading up to christmas just buy the pressie on sale - 30% off a $75 pressie is $52 :thumbsup: Win - Win LOL :laughing: