View Full Version : treated different at work post mc
:gloomy: Hi guys
i m/c 2 weeks ago, and told my boss. today i had my review at work, and she treated me so differently. i won an award, did a great job all year, had great reviews in the past, and all of a sudden she said i am not focussed and am "cruising". im so angry. she also asked where i see myself in 2 years. it was so uncomfortable and i really think i was treated differently now she knows i am ttc.
They go on and on about work life balance and employer of choice, but in reality, they treat you so differently if you are trying to start a family.
i was so vulnerable and could really not respond to the unfair comments she made. i feel she took advantage of my vulnerable state and had a dig at me (she is an evil witch)... anyway thought i would find out if anyone else experienced this...:detective:
Firstly I am so sorry for your loss :hugs: :hugs: Also I am sorry that you are being treated unfairly by your boss - as if you don't have enough to deal with at the moment.
I have been treated differently at work since I announced that I was pg - like my brain is gone, my career is over, and they might as well give up on me.
I think you have a genuine right to be aggrieved with this treatment. Is there someone, maybe in HR, or another person in a senior position, you can ask to independently review your review (so to speak)? If they really are an "employer of choice" they should have systems in place to investigate this sort of behaviour.
Iím sorry to hear about your review! That is so unfair and the way you have been treated is just plain wrong!
I am having trouble at the moment too. Last week I found out that everyone in the office knows and I only told 2 people. I am so upset and disappointed so at the moment I am pretty much ignoring everyone and just trying to do my job. I didnít want people at work because I feel like it is none of their business and they are people that I really donít want knowing and talking about my like.
I thought my manager had been pretty understanding, but I get the feeling that she is running out of patience with me. I took a bit of time off a couple of weeks ago and had been working limited hours. Yesterday I had the most awful day and had to leave early, and my manager has ignored me this morning. I have also found out that a lot of the responsibilities I was given in the past have now been taken off me!
I am at the stage now when I am just about fed up. I think people just expect you to get over it and just go back to normal and of course it is impossible to do.
I hope things improve for you, feel free to pm me anytime if you need to vent! :hugs:
I know what you both mean- At the Job I had when I was Pregnant with my son was just like that, they even called me into work when DS was only two weeks old, they didn't seem to understand that even though I was committed to my work I also needed time for myself.
The job I am in now is fantastic, When I miscarried they immediately offered me time off work, and offered a councelor if I needed it. They alsotold me if I ever needed to talk they were available.
(they also have 6 months paid maternity leave for when I do finally need it.)
Thankgod I found a job that I love and they love me.
I hope you can find the same :hugs:
:( Sorry for your recent loss. A m/c is hard to deal with at the best of times let alone when your boss is being a turd as well.
My opinion is that I wouldn't just leave it at that. You have rights and if you feel you have been treated poorly because of something in your personal life, then I feel you should go above your managers head and get another opinion. And if they're no help, are in the union?
I had a similar things but with my complex managers where I have living. She said to me (and these are her exact words) "If you had half a brain you'd be dangerous you stupid girl". I went stright to the Rental board and made a complaint as I am not putting up with that.
Hope everything has eased down for you now though.
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