Help For Friend

[mollysmum]

Hi girls,

I hope you dont mind me posting this message in this area as I know it is not directly related to what you guys are going through, but I was wondering if any of you might be able to give me any ideas.

I have a friend who is currently going through IVF, she has had two unsuccessful attempts, and as you would know it makes her very sad. I was just wondering if any of you had any suggestions of things I could do for her, I know that I can never fully understand what she is feeling but I just wish that I could do something to ease her pain. I noticed in one of the other threads a book was mentioned, I think it was called The Baby Trail, I have no idea what the content of the book is, I was wondering if it might be something that would make her feel better to read. Does anyone know of any other books that might be a help to her. I just really really want to do something to help her through this, and make sure she knows that we care and are here for her.

Thanks

[petster]

What a nice caring friend you are Mollysmum... Tough question though... I think letting her know you realize that what she's going through is hard - and telling her you're there for her is a very good start... Everyone going through IVF handles it differently - I was a "tell everyone (friends) and share the burden" type... Some people might not be comfortable crying on someones shoulder...

I personally was not interested in reading books about other people's IVF journey, but I imagine they could be quite helpful for some people...

The fact that you are concerned enough about your friend to post about it, makes me think you are doing a great job as a support person for her! Just keep doing what you're doing... (And don't ever say "It'll happen one day for you..." - we IVFers hate that - at least I used to!!!)

Cheers!

[JnA]

Hi

I agree with petster, don't got the "It'll happen one day" or (even worse IMO) "It'll happen when it's right".

Just being there as a sympathetic ear is a good start. Every person going through IVF is as different as every pregnancy and every baby.

I also didn't want to read about other women's IVF journeys, but your friend might (especially if they end happily, it may help her - then again it may do the opposite, you know her best though)

One thing I would strongly suggest she *not* do is to go to purely IVF or ART forums. I found them *very* depressing places to be, there were more stories about unsuccessfull attempts than anything and it really distressed me. It may sound like a cliche, but staying positive helps, maybe not with conception, but with peace of mind at least.

She has the greatest asset of all, though. A friend that is supportive and concerned about her.

Good for you