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Seekrit
23-11-2006, 17:53
heh. I've had implanon in for only 2 weeks but I'm willing to blame my thoughts on it.

I don't want to share my love for Cobey with another baby... I want him to be showered in everything, every piece of love and every present I can buy.
I don't care if I'm spoiling him - I want to ! I want him to grow up loved.

I'm so afraid that having a 2nd baby (not for another 3+ years) would damage our relationship that we'll have...
Yet I'm completely sure it won't.

*sigh*

Just gathering thoughts.

lukaelmo
23-11-2006, 18:00
Don't worry nutbag, I feel completely the same, but for me it's a bit late now :laughing:.

I cannot imagine giving another bubba attention that should rightfully be going to the dude, but I know this will change as soon as I meet D?2...

And, at the risk of sounding like a fortune cookie, just because you give love to one, this will not then deplete your supply for loving another...

Oh but I am old and wise :D.

sopolicha
23-11-2006, 18:01
I know exactly how you feel. I have had that feeling three times. You don't stop loving or wanting to give your first born everthing, you just get it all over again with the next child. It's all good.

TwoBlue
23-11-2006, 18:53
I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal...

I never thought i would have enough love for another baby after Samuel... Samuel had 100% .. how could i give more...???

But you can ... and you do :yes:

melfunction
23-11-2006, 19:06
Bit late for me too nickie ;) but I met a lady recently who has had 6 kids and she said that each one brings their own love.

I think that is a great way of looking at it :)

tickle
23-11-2006, 19:11
I agree with what everyone has said. You also find that rather than interactions with your new baby being a negative on your older child, it tends to enhance what you already had. When M wakes up from a sleep we all spend about half an hour just playing on the bed. O thinks it's the greatest thing. He loves to play with her and he gets upset when we play and she's not there. He says, "Mee-e toooo". (millie too)
Sometimes it scares me how much I love M, I honestly didn't think it was possible to love another person like I do O, but it is so, so easy.

Pixie
23-11-2006, 19:27
I was feeling this a few weeks ago, now I know for sure I can share my love. There's a heck load of it to go around :D

RedPanda
23-11-2006, 19:40
I knew one month after having my DS that I wanted another. I love him sooo much, but I don't think that will affect how much I'll love the next. I can understand how you feel though. At the moment my DS is just my entire life - it's hard to see past him!

Seekrit
23-11-2006, 21:44
Aww.. see I knew you'd all say the right things.

I often see women with 3 or more kids and wonder (:o) which one they love more, because I can't fathom loving the 2nd born as much as the first - OR the kids as much as the wee baby. Just a fleeting thought, yanno.

I will learn.. I will get there.. won't I?

misskittyfantastico
23-11-2006, 21:48
Seek..know that inside you, you have the capacity for so much love.

emilysmumma
23-11-2006, 21:50
I know everyone says you can love another child just as much as your first, but I still can't wrap my head around it.

I'm totally with you on this one seekrit. I don't want DD to miss out on any of my love. I don't want to share it with another.....but ultimatley I can't help myself and just luuuuurve babies so much that I'm sure another will come along in the next few years.

she_rambles
08-04-2007, 20:19
I get torn by that ... I love my baby boy so much that I frequently think I'd love to have another baby just so I can experience the wonder all over again.

But then I think it'd be impossible for me to love another baby the way I love my boy. I'm a single mum so to me it just feels like we have a really special bond since it's just the two of us, and that if I were to have another baby (preferably with a guy that actually sticks around instead of doing a runner) I wouldn't feel the desperate love I give my son, because there'd be another parent to share the loving. I know that sounds stupid to all you other parents that have partners and it's not true at all, but that's just what goes through my head. I just feel like I'd unintentionally always favour my boy because I know he doesn't have a father, and I don't think I'd ever trust a step-dad to give him the full love he deserves, so I need to make up for it?

Oh well, at the moment it looks like the decision about one or more kids has been made for me, seeing as my ex ran off when I got pregnant!

Scout
08-04-2007, 20:45
I hope it is not the Implanon doing that to you - it made me fair and square loopy! All that progesterone makes me a total fruit-cake - the only time I've been loopier was during the surging progesterone times in pregnancy.

I can't imagine loving two....I'm an only child though so the concept of siblings is just not something I can understand.

There'll only be one in this house......but that's probably due to the nutbag status that I achieved during pregnancy and after, I don't think I could go through that again. :no:

anscje
28-08-2007, 13:40
I know exactly how you feel :)

I am an only child and DS will be one as well mainly for those reasons. I don't want to share my love with another child. I only ever wanted one boy and that is exactly what I got.

I have such a close special bond with my parents because I am an only child and I don't think it would be the same if I had siblings and that is what I want for DS.

At the end of a day it's a personal decision and yes we all have more love to give. I know I could love thousands of babies but I don't think I could love them ever as much as I love DS.

My 2 cents worth :hugs:

nugglyboysmum
05-09-2007, 22:41
ia m in the same position seekrit. DH wants to either have an oly or ttc again now, i would rather wait 2 more years and then decide.....

~Emmylou~
06-09-2007, 14:20
I felt like that too.

One thing that was said to me and it is definitely true:

Love doesn't divide - it doubles.
(or triples, or quadruples LOL).

You don't have a finite amount that you have to divide up between your children. As each one comes along you just make more and more. No one misses out on anything ;)

Noah_and_Elijah
06-09-2007, 14:23
I worry about this everyday especially having them so close in age (17 month gap)

I look at Noah some days and just want to cry and tell him I'm sorry that I am having another baby and that he won't be number one anymore and that he has to share...

I feel so guilty!! :(

RaryGirl
06-09-2007, 16:23
Seekrit I felt the same as you and when I was pregnant with DS I felt so guilty because DD had been an only child for 9 years and I didn't see how I could love another child as much .... it used to have me in tears some nights (preg hormones :o )

But the second DS was born it seemed that I had even more love to give - didn't have to share DD's love, there was more .... it was amazing. So now I've got 2 children and I love them both to bits. And I know if I get the opportunity to have anymore children I'll have even more love to give.

It's wonderful!