Weaning a boobie addict

[oh my!]

Just wondering how I go about weaning my 19month old daughter? She is draining me. She still wakes at night for bf & will not re-settle without it. Of a day she refueses to not bf & will scream & yell until i give in. Same of a night, she cant go to sleep without it.

I managed to cut out most of the night feeds but she will not give up feeding after 4am so feeds at 4 & 6am. Then again after 10.30 am to go to sleep & when she wakes.

I feel bad for doing it & was intent on child led weaning but i'm so tired. I want others to be able to put her to sleep etc. My partner refuses to even try because he thinks that he cant because thats what breastfeeding does.

Please help :)

[Rainbowbrite]

Just wanted to bump this up for the OP.

[Pinky McKay]

What a lucky little person to have had such a loving start. It would be a shame to end this in a frazzle so please remember the mantra - Gradually with love" and plan weaning in baby steps - this wont be fast ( no more than one feed a week is the goal).

As I have mentioned previously, breastfeeding is not just about hunger but is also a form of comfort, security and tactile experience - it is also protective against allergies which may be a reason why your little one is still clinging so strongly to the breastfeeding.

It is important to look at what ii happening from your baby's perspective - what major development is going on -teeth? Learning to talk but not quite being able to express herself verbally yet? Is she feeling insecure because your are so desperate to wean? Is she sensing friction between you and your partner over your parenting? your own emotions will be reflected by your baby .

Have there been other changes in her life recently - starting day care? Separations? Visitors? Holidays?

It can help to consider how you can meet your baby's needs either for security or 'pain relief" if its teething, through alternatives to nursing - "other mothering". "Other-mothering" requires close observation of your baby ( initially there will be a greater mothering effort) and creating distractions BEFORE she wants to breastfeed so she isn’t in a refusal/rejection situation re breastfeeding - eg can you be ready to take her outside/go to the park/ play a game/ have special playthings ready to pull out say, musical instruments; bubbles; a ‘touchy feely’ box or old handbag filled with interesting objects that she can rummage in – be creative.

Meanwhile, please take care of YOU and try to address your own health - have your iron and thyroid levels checked as these can contribute to extreme tiredness but can also be fairly easily rectified. It would be great if you could encourage your partner to do an activity with your baby that will help him feel more connected and confident - What are his interests and how can he involve your little one in some version? GymbaROO? A babyswimming class?

A good book to read is Mothering Your Nursing Toddler -available at Mothers Direct.
Pinky