HELP - Sleep such hard work!

[mum2maddy]

Hi All, I am goind nuts! :eek:
My 8 month old DD has decided that she wont obey routine. I had a good routine going with a couple of 1-2 hour sleeps during the day and bed at 7.30-8.30 with a wake during the night for a feed (she wants that feed no matter what!). Now I have to fight her for every sleep. I feed her in the hope she will drift off but NOOOOOOOO. I try CC and it works once then the next time I try it she cracks it big time and I feel guilty and let her stay up.

It's like I see the tired signs, I try to respond to them but she fights it sooo hard. Then I have to wait until she is so tired that she will fall asleep while I walk her 12 KG butt around our yard!

She falls asleep on milk at night between 7-9pm then wakes at 12.30 ish to come in our bed..... Then she wakes at 2.30 am for some milk, then wakes at 5.30 - 6is for the start of another wonderful day of HELL.

I've had this nervous twitch in one of my eyes for days now, I feel so out of control I don't know what to do. We had such a good thing going until she started teething a couple of months ago. Since then it's been a shocker!

She eventually goes down for a day sleep, after a couple of hours of trying everything on my part. I try CC, pram walking, milk, carrying her etc. Arghhh I'm running out of ideas.

Sorry I just need to vent, I will be OK.
:o

[Melski]

Hi there,

i know exactly what you are going through. I CANNOT believe that mother's go through this and survive! I feel that I may just collapse from the exhaustion. I have found myself feeling so so jealous of Princess Mary who will not have to clean her house, wash, iron etc. just cuddle her baby and sleep in between.

My boy was such a great sleeper until 3 weeks ago when he started teething (at 5 months :eek: ). Now he wakes with every sleep cycle (40 mins) through the night.

The thing I have been told to try is to remove all sleep props (ie. rocking, walking, milk, dummy etc.) and do a modified version of CC (to try and alleviate caving in from guilt). The modified version goes that you put in bed when tired (no sleep props), allow to cry for 3 mins. Go in and settle for 3 mins (just stroke head or cheek softly, don't talk, make eye contact or turn on light). After 3 mins is up say firmly "shhh.. time for sleep" then walk out and leave for another 3 mins. Repeat.

I tried this for the first time last night so cannot say that if it works or not. However I CAN say that just when you think it will never happen b/c of so much crying, they do fall asleep - and is easier than leaving for longer than 3 min spells (guilt wise). I also picked him up for a quick cuddle if he got toooo distressed and then put back down when he was calm.

Good luck, i feel your pain. Mel

[mum2maddy]

If I try the "modified" version of CC, do you know how long you can keep trying for? I heard if they still aren't asleep in an hour then you should stop and try something else????
Thanks for feeling my pain, she has just gone down (Praise the Lord!) *Dances*
I love silence

[Melski]

I was told to keep trying 1 - 1.5 hours, but I still think (as always), only do what you feel is right.

Also, tell yr partner that he has to stay with you and hold your hand throught the crying or you will prolly cave for sure. If you are going to do it, psych yourself up, make a plan of how long you will persist, and do it a "good" time ie. Baby not teething, sick, hungry, hubby not have big important meeting the next day or what have you.

I am pleased to report only having done it twice and already big improvement!!!!!

Good Luck, Mel

[mum2maddy]

After your reply Mel and Speaking with another bubhubber whom I meet with once a week I have been consistant with my CCing.

Maddy is sleeping HEAPS better after only a few days. She is having longer day sleeps - up to 2 hours which is HUGE considering she normally slept for 1/2 to an hour.

She is also sleeping better at nite. And she is whinging less during the day and is alot happier in herself.

Thanks for the advice, Goodluck with your little one too. It is really hard but the good sleeps she is having are evidence enough for me that I'm doing the right thing.

Take Care :p

[mariafresnel]

Angelina,

My husband and I were having very similar challenges with our 1 year old - and was not without vomiting, when she started freaking out about going to sleep - so times were very challenging and incredibly exhausting.....a lot of depression to be very honest. Anyway, I regularly read Parenting magazine, in which a woman (sleep expert) by the name of Tizzie Hall writes articles. Anyway, we bought her routines and many other helpful information on line - it cost $53 or thereabouts, we got it immediately. It's all up to date - and can I say taht in using EVERYTHING she suggests - we have a winner - the key is consistency. Anyway, it's worth it, because what she describes is a baby who falls alseep on the bottle/breast will invariably be a baby who will wake one or more times throughout the night - and sometimes it's not necessarily the milk they want/need it's the last thing they remember which is probably mum/dad holding them.....anyway.....I thought I'd offer you that if you wanted to explore the website www.saveoursleep.com.au

Thanks
Maria

[mariafresnel]

Angelina,

I realise I may have been a bit vague. Save Our Sleep does not subscribe to control crying - that's why we liked it, because little Sophia just wouldn't respond well to CC i.e. she would just keep crying every time we walked out and in (otherwise known as teasing and confusing the child)....and she would invariably vomit in her distress. Instead SOS helped us understand E/THING, I mean it was so detailed as in what to do when - for example it has a whole section on early risers. Why they rise early, what to do etc - I used this technique this morning b/c Sophia woke up at 5am. Ordinarily I would have done the easy thing ie. Milk etc, but with the SOS routines it would have mucked the whole day up, and not achieve real results in the long term ie. Sophia to help herself go back to sleep...anyway, the technique is for the parent to stay in the room with the child, no eye contact, and no talking, and continually put the child down to lay on their back every time they get up. Keeping doing this 40 times, and you will see your child will start to get tired, but at the same time, the cry is not a distressed one (like it is with CC) but it is a protest cry......they feel safe with us still in the room. I wont continue with the information, as I would hate to be put up for copyright stealing....so go to the website, I tell you it's the best thing we've invested in because it suggests everything you should be doing - and that type of information isn't available unless you're checked into a mother/baby stay help place. All the best
Maria