Feeling numb.

[babylover111]

I dont really know what to write but im feeling completely numb after a fight with my dad.

I know to other people this wouldnt seem like much, but to me it is a lot.

As most of you know I'm still living at home, and all through my childhood my father has had a habit of getting extremely angry if something he doesnt agree with arises.

Anyway tonight he had a go at me because I havent posted a letter in the neighbours letterbox's telling im having a party tomorrow night and there will be some music playing. It was an honest mistake, I completely forgot about it and I would never intentionally forget it because I love everyone in my street and we're all really close. Anyway he had a go at me and normally I shout back and am very rude but tonight I didnt react. I sat there and took it, after awhile i decided to walk away because it wasnt doing either of us any good. He decided to follow me to my bedroom screaming at me some more and I asked him politely to leave me alone but he didnt listen so I said "can you just f*cking leave me alone" then it set him off even more for swearing at him.

Now he's saying my party is cancelled, but honestly I made one mistake by forgetting to send out the letters and said I'd do it tomorrow morning. He also told me to go to my room and calm down, I was completely calm the whole time. How dare he tell me to calm down when I was talking rationally and he was the one that threw my dinner across the room?

Im sick of living in this house, I love everyone else in my family so much but I'm just sick of his attitude. Especially the fact that im often reminded by him that nannying isnt a real job.

[bekkyboo]

:hugs:

Sweety i dont really know what to say. The only kind of relationship like that i have had was with my ex. My dad didnt have any kind of temper - so im unsure of advice.

I think that in your situation i might just play along with him, humour him as it were. Drop the letters off in the morning and apologise again (or not and just not bring it up), if he says something about it just tell him he was right you were wrong kinda thing.

Its a hard thing - as normally id be saying get out. But its your father - not a partner - and fathers sometimes have a different view from being raised in a different era - so they deal with things differently. Like you swearing at him set him off more for not respecting him.

I honestly dont know sweety. Its so hard sometimes isnt!

lots of :hugs: and :kiss:

[cwsmum]

:hugs: I think sometimes my parents used to yell at me just to get a reaction from me and give them and excuse to yell more...so when we don't react at all that really annoys them.

As for him complaining that you haven't let the neighbours know that you are having a party, why not just go knock on their front doors tomorrow morning and let them know? Then if they aren't home leave a note in their letterbox/tucked into the front door. Prove to your dad that you were planning on telling them...and probably annoy him a bit too coz you went to a little extra effort to go see the neighbours personally.

One last thing, nannying is definatly a real job :yes: that's probably what I would be doing if I didn't have my own kids.

[babylover111]

Thank you for your beautiful posts! I know what you mean about getting a reaction, I was so proud of myself though because I didnt react at all.

Tomorrow morning I'm planning on giving everyone a phonecall to let them know, what annoys me the most is that I want to do it and I was always planning on doing it but it just happened to slip my mind.

Hes blaming me again saying that I was in the wrong and keeps on coming in and trying to make me feel worse.

[Mojogal]

OMG of course nannying is a real job!

[mama kare]

im a nanny.. :D

are you able to afford to move out of home by any chance? sounds like my dad and i got out as soon as i could afford it (i was almost 19 when i had enough money to do it!)

i used to get the whole "while you're living under my roof, you'll do as i say" argument!

my poor sister, she is 32 and recently moved back home while she finishes her uni degree.. is trying to pay her house off and uni fees.. she bought her dog home with her and dad was mad that her dog was now sharing the backyard with his dog, so he built a fence right down the middle of the back yard and told her - you keep your dog in that side and i'll keep mine over this side. now you can mow that part of the yard yourself!

he can often be very irrational, though you cant tell him - he would argue you out of the house!