What was THAT about ?!?

[rynosmum]

My 16 month old has had his share of tanties - quite cute really, he'll lie on the floor, pull a pillow under his head and then bang his head on it. After a few seconds it's over.

Tonight though, it was a different story. We were playing with a toy when I obviously touched something I wasn't supposed to...and he absolutely lost it ! :eek: He started screaming, ran to the corner and kept screaming, started banging his head against the wall and screaming more ! I sat on the floor and held him to calm him and he got worse ! The screaming only stopped as he was trying to take breath (and at one point when he almost threw up). He was a hot little ball of frustrated crying. I eventually gave him a bottle of milk (as we have a fairly sensitive old thing next door who decided to tell me last weekend that she heard Ry cry the other day - and babies DON'T cry normally - what had we done ?) Anyway, he got down off the couch like nothing happened. I put him to bed and he went straight to sleep - exhausted.

Is this just an insight into the Terrible 2's ? Is this what it is really like ? Does anyone else see tantrums like this and how do you handle them ?

[j&k'smum]

Hi there,
Whew, that sounded full on. I reckon he was just over tired. My little one gets a bit out of control too when she is really tired.(She is 2yrs) If she has a short nap too she will wake up worse than what she was when she went to sleep. We have to tread around her carefully so we don't set her off but after awhile( up to and over half an hour) and a "Bot-Bot' she relaxes. We just give her what she wants otherwise it becomes a bit chaotic.
Its soo hard isn't it seeing them like that.? Its frustrating not being able to snap them out of it, for their sakes. ( and for ours too)
K started waking in the middle of the night freaking out, screaming and yelling "No Go away". I asked about "night terrors" and it turns out to be quiet common. Does he have them too when he is over tired? I worked out that that was when she was having them , so since have tried to get her to have a nap of some sort during the day.
So in answer to your question, my daughter has tantrums but not to that extent ,although I do know it happens.
There is nothing worse either than worrying about what someone will think if they hear your child crying. (Unreal!) Its hard when u live in close earshot to someone. I did for ten years and was always worrying about what they "must think". Now thankfully I'm not in that semi-detached unit anymore and have a house. Tell the old biddy to mind her business. They seem to forget that they would have done exactly the same things or experienced all that you are, with their children.oh unless of course they dont have any. Big lesson in life.."Don't worry what others think"..
If you are really concerned, maybe just go to your GP and take it from there.
All the best to you anyway. Poor little thing..You will work it out. We always do us mums!!! lol. :D

[rynosmum]

Hi J&K'sMum,

Thanks so much for your advice. I was working today and was stressing all day - essentially thinking that I had now created a little boy who was going to grow up banging his head against the wall in jail after he was caught stealing cars. (Okay, maybe a slight over-reaction). :o

When I picked him up, we went to the park and played and then went home and played. He went to sleep with giggles.

He has been a little off his food lately and I think he might have a molar coming through. The pain of his little mouth, the frustration of his age and being overtired as you said was all a little much for him I think.

My Angel-Baby is back !

[Elfin]

Rynosmum, you have done nothing wrong. Some children are just major venters. My 2yo dd is just like this and she went through a headbanging stage too but has grown out of that now. It is just most likely language frustration and teething might contribute. My dd throws herself on the ground and carries on, screeches, scratches others, hits herself etc.

I just try to ignore her or distract her, sometimes I will just put her in her cot for a few minutes just so she can calm down a bit although I don't like to hear her crying but it does help sometimes to just get things back to normal.

Recently I cut preservative 282 which is an anti mould preservative found in some breads, crumpets, refridgerated pastas and english muffins and after a week I feel her behaviour has definitely improved. It is not 100% but she does not seem as volatile. There are heaps of other diet things you can look at but I have just started with 282. Maybe give this a try.

[tickle]

I have found that my DS gets very frustrated because he can't verbalise his wants / needs / frustrations. It must be really hard for them, when they know what they want but can't say it. A combination of this, with tiredness, with teething and with being a toddler. Sound like a receipe for a big "tanty" as we call them here!! ;)

[rynosmum]

Recently I cut preservative 282 which is an anti mould preservative found in some breads, crumpets, refridgerated pastas and english muffins and after a week I feel her behaviour has definitely improved.

My husband has been hinting to this for the past few weeks but we didn't know which preservative it was so thank you ! We will actually avoid that one from today - we had heard that it can cause these types of reactions.

Thanks also OliversMum. I completely agree. He has learnt a few new words in the past three days - "more", "some" and 'Happy" so he's really trying hard to communicate more. I think frustration would also be a big factor.

Thanks so much girls - it's great to have support at times like this ! :D

[j&k'smum]

rynosmum

Hi again. Glad to hear you aren't stressing anymore and have come up with some solutions. Its amazing the things that are in the food that do make the kids go nuts, and the teething thing too is a huge contributor. I was not thinking of teeth either with K when she was freaking out because she has so many of them that it wasn't noticeable to the eye, not like when they are babies and they are all gummy and they get them. Her eye teeth gave her a bit of grief too. She has just finished cutting her last one. It was popping out then going back in , so the poor little chook would have been feeling that!
Its all so trial and error in this job hey? All the best..
Jo :)

[rynosmum]

Hi Girls,

I just wanted to thank you all for the info on the preservative 282. I cut this out of Ry's diet after your posts and we have not had one more instance of this type of behaviour. No public or private tantrums. I can only assume that it is related (as nothing else has changed) and the difference is dramatic.

Thanks for your advice ! :D

[Elfin]

Thanks for the update, I am glad it worked so well for you. It definitely has a big impact on some children. I accidently gave my dd some last night in frozen ravioli and fortunately she didn't eat a lot but we had some of the bad behaviour from her today, not as bad as before but it was still there. I could of kicked myself for giving it to her as I didn't read the label properly :rolleyes: She just can't tolerate 282 at all and we paid the price today.

I was sceptical about the whole preservative thing before but am a big believer that in some children preservatives have a big impact on behaviour.

[Mother Duck]

Do you know I read almost all my labels and I have never read the bread label - I think I just assumed bread would be innocent!

282 eh? - Great advice - thanks all