View Full Version : Is this selfish of me???
not selfish at all hun!
tell him no, dont be afraid. he obviously doesnt need it for anything for bubba, its obvious that he is just saying he wants it 4 baby stuff so that you will feel guilty if you dont give it to him.
If he has all that stuff what the bloody hell does he need to buy?
You're the one who deserves this money, it'll be you who gets it and dont feel pressured to give it to him! This is what happens to teen mums, the boyfriend/ex forces the girl to give up her baby bonus and then they go buy things that the baby doesnt need and now teens are paying for it.
So it's your money and the babies money, you need it! Dont give in to him :kiss:
hell no your not selfish I would not give him a cent he sounds like a complete d!ck to be honest with you.
dont rely on him for ANYTHING if you can, buy all the baby things yourself, what if he turns around and gets nasty and says your not getting the carseat back etc. just be wary. he sounds very immature.
Not selfish at all hon. The money goes straight to you so if you don't want to give him any don't.
No way! That baby bonus is for you to spend as you see fit. You are the one who will be home with the bub, providing for him/her day and night, buying nappies and soap and wipes, clothing, perhaps formula (you never know) etc... the money is to help the main care-provider provide the best care possible. He doesn't deserve a cent, especially as he earns so much and has his own house but chooses to live with his parents.
I'd tell him that if he really needs anything for the baby, to let you know, and you will decide if it's a suitable thing to use the baby bonus money for. Otherwise, he can fork out from his own money like he's supposed to. It'd be different if you were living together and needing to buy all this stuff together, but as he already has access to stuff at his folks' house, and you can definitely share the carseat etc, I would stand firm.
You go girl, don't let him make you feel bad. If he didn't think he could provide for a child, he should never have put you in this position.
Hell no you are not being selfish at all - as you said the items can be used by him also so no need for him to have that money;)
If he is not the main caregiver, then he really isn't entitled to half.
No way i wouldnt be giving him half at all it goes straight in to your account so really he has no right to any of it. As for giving the bub whoevers last name i would personally be giving it the last name of you not the father as if you dont see a future with this guy then there is no need to have his last name as it can cause troubles in the long run......
Don't give him a cent!
If there is somthing he says he needs perhaps you could buy it for him so you know thats what the money is really being used for. That way you might be able to pick up whatever it is second hand or on a good special.
No way are you being selfish if anything he's the selfish one.
Its actually called the MATERNITY payment, meaning mother. You are not being selfish at all. The child will mainly be in your care and the money goes to the mother unless you ask centrelink to put it in the fathers name... Be strong.......................
there is :no: way i would be giving him any thing... your the one whom will be raising the child..
At best, I would agree to a compromise that if he needs a carseat and/or pram when the time comes, that you will use the baby bonus to buy them for him. Other than that, tell him to bugger off. And make sure he pays his child support.
If he doesnt need to purchase things for bub (like you said he has alot already, or you will give when you give him bub) then he doesnt need it.
This money is for free fun and spending - it is for the child, i think he may be just using the purchases as an excuse to make you feel guilty into giving it over.
Just say no
*insert the nicorete ad here - No Gary No* hahahahha
Unless you guys were arranging a 50/50 custody arrangement of the child I wouldnt give him a cent. It is for the baby and the costs associated with helping to raise that child.
Tell him no he isnt entitled to it.
Don't give him half the baby bonus! You'll regret it. It really is for the primary caregiver ie. you. Also, you are at home taking care of the baby, not working. He is working and earning, so can afford things he needs (and should be pitching in for things you need for the baby).
As for the surname - I was still with my baby's father and still gave her my surname. I thought it would solve problems later on when enrolling her in school etc. Now we are not together, I'm so glad she has my name.
whats wrong with him buying the things he needs out of his own money like you have been doing?
Yeah you'll be getting $4000 but that doesnt cover anywhere near the cost of a baby!
just tell him where to go hunny.
( i know i replied to this already but he is just such a jerk! )
Tell him sorry, the money is a 'Baby Bonus'- a bonus for having a baby, and it goes to the baby's carer- you!
It pi$$es me off that when discussing last names he replies with "I'll think about it", as if you need permission from him for these things. Uh- NO!! Stay strong! You'll be needing EVERY CENT of that money- you'll have massive regrets and harbour a lot of bitterness should you give him some.
DS's father and I split up when I was still pregnant - like you, my decision. And guess what? He lives at home with his parents and he's 27! Got nothing to show for his 27 years either, I might add.
I budgeted for all the baby stuff I'd need, like cot, car seat, high chair, etc and I picked up a large bag of nappies and wipes and wash etc every time I went shopping before bub was born so that I wouldn't really have to leave the house for the first two-three weeks to go grocery shopping. So I didn't need the baby money for that.
I wouldn't give him ONE CENT of the Maternity Payment. It's supposed to be to help with the cost of raising a child. And if he already has access to the things he says the wants to buy with the money, then more power him.
The cheek of even asking!
I'm all for the mothers having complete say in where the money goes and how it is spent (I started hammering my personal loan when I found out I was pregnant to get that out of the way and used $1000 of the Maternity Payment to finish the loan, so that all my Single Parenting Payment went to us).
Just tell him no.
When he can share half of the morning sickness, half of the backache, half of the hormone changes, half of the carrying bub in your tum, etc, then he can be sure you'll share that with him.
It certainly doesn't sound like he's strapped for cash, living with mum and dad and renting out his house that he desperately needs the money.
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