Overwhelmed

[jodiefullagar]

I am a new mum to 11 day old Leo and am feeling very overwhelmed! Not to say that Leo has been difficult at all so far, but I keep anticipating the non-stop crying, sleepless nights, etc. and get a huge knot in my stomach. I suppose once it happens, and I get through it I will be more relaxed.

Can anyone ease my mind....that if a baby cries non-stop or doesn't sleep all night its not the end of the world?!!

Also - we are heading off to see my parents tomorrow - they live about an hour away from us - any tips on travelling for that period of time in the car?

Jodie :confused:

[flower]

Jodie.....I had a NO Dummy policy...BUT then my son came alive at 12 days......and I got a dummy...then all was right with his world. Its not THE answer...but it might be one?
O's mom.

[Angelmist♥]

I'm with you Kevinbudgie, before giving birth to my eldest son I was strictly no-dummy ha ha how that soon changed!It certainly did help in our case anyway.

Jodie, maybe Leo won't go through the sleepless nights and non-stop crying, just a thought. My second son didn't, he was text-book from day 1. Even the midwives were shocked, maybe little Leo is like this (well fingers crossed anyway).Maybe your getting anxious for nothing? Just my thoughts sorry.

As for the hour long trip, maybe wait until he has been fed, changed and then go. He may sleep the whole time.

Oh and by the way it is definitely not the end of the world if you bub's cries non-stop and doesn't sleep all night! ESPECIALLY at 11 days old!

Congratulations on your baby and enjoy it while he is so little! Trust me babies definitely pick up on your emotions, so a calmer mummy = calmer bubs!
Lots of love and best wishes

[jodiefullagar]

Thanks for your replies.

Nara - I noticed you live in Gladdy - so did I!!! Your advice is gratefully received...I was going to ask for people's success stories cause too often you only hear the bad stuff!!

[JanetF]

I can tell lovely stories about my son's newborn days :D It was the best! All I did was sleep, feed him, change his nappies (only after his dad had gone back to work, I barely saw his bum for the first 3 weeks LOL), hold him while he slept and marvel at what a gorgeous creature he was - still is! I think babies are very good barometers of our moods too so the more relaxed you feel, the more confident he will be that you know what you're doing ;) I felt that babies are pretty simple creatures really - you feed them, change their nappies, cuddle them constantly and that's it! We've never had loads of sleepless nights, he has always had boob to drift off so no problems going to sleep, he has slept in between us from day 1 so I've never got out of bed to a crying child! The only advice I have for you is revel in this because they're so tiny for such a short time. You can't spoil him with love so hold him as much as possible, sleep with him, have nanna naps with him and lots of skin on skin time will help with establishing breastfeeding and be a beautiful gentle time for him too. Get someone to buy you copies of "100 ways to calm the crying" and "Parenting by Heart" both by Pinky McKay. She will really reassure you that all bubs needs is arms, boobs and love. I hope you can treasure this time *hugs* and a very little hug for an 11 day old bub ;)

[Angelmist♥]

The only advice I have for you is revel in this because they're so tiny for such a short time. You can't spoil him with love so hold him as much as possible, sleep with him, have nanna naps with him and lots of skin on skin time will help with establishing breastfeeding and be a beautiful gentle time for him too.

I have to agree with JanetF on this one, you definitely can't spoil your children with love! We even made sure there was lots of skin on skin time bottle-feeding. Ha ha our two boys still come into our bed every morning and we all sleep in together. Although I might have to start trying to get them out of that habit ha ha :rolleyes: Or put them at the foot of our bed!

And yes I am in Gladstone, we just moved back in here a few months ago!We were living out at Boyne Island.When did you move, a while ago? I actually didn't want to move but I am really glad we did now. DS1 absolutely loves his new pre-school which really helps and it's sorta good being so close to the shops!! Although I may have blown the budget a bit on my soon-to-be little girl!

Good luck with everything and if you want to, don't be afraid to send me pm.

[nkenward]

Hi there Jodie,

I too am a new mummy - he is 14 days old today. I too find it a little overwhelming at the moment. He too doesn't cry a lot, and when he does it is such a small whimper - I am not sure how I will handle it when he really lets go. But with everything I think it will all work out - I mean there are so many women that cope with all sorts of babies and they all turn out ok.

I think my biggest thing at the moment is filling in the days when he is asleep. I find it difficult to sleep during the day, so I absolutely hang out for some 'adult' conversation. I look forward to when Connor is a little more interactive and we can have some play time together.

Good luck and I hope all goes well.

[rynosmum]

Hi Jodie and Natalie !

Congratulations on your beautiful new little babies !

People love to scare new parents with the stories of ongoing crying and sleepless nights. Maybe it's a good thing 'cause when you get your bubba home, you realise it's not really as hard as you thought it would be.

You've made it through 40 weeks of pregnancy, brought a beautiful new baby into the world safely and happily, have learnt how to look after the little one so all it's needs are met (clothing, comfort, milky and cuddles) - you probably have even mastered bathing the little bubba and snapping them into the sweet little bonds wondersuit :D

Now it is just time to relax. Do what you think is right for you and your baby and it can't be wrong. Love the little one with all your heart, cuddle them during any nighttime feeds (poor little tummies just don't hold 12 hours worth of milky at that age), comfort them when they cry. It is such a fantastic time of their lives.

Enjoy ! You have already done the hard work in creating the little bubba, now's the fun part ! :D

[Mala]

Hi Jodie,

I'd just like to start by saying, I love the name Leo.
My 3 year old son is Leo! - Needless to say, there are not too many of them around, and it's one of those names they will never need to attach their surname initial to at school!!

My #1 was a terrible sleeper. She is now 6.5 and still the same.
My #2 (my Leo), was wrapped from birth, due to the dealings I'd had with the big sister.
My #3, although not due until June :p , already has me on the look out for some cute wraps!
HINDSIGHT....always 20/20!
Wrapping Leo in a muslin cloth settled him straight away. He got to know when it was time to sleep, and wouldn't kick up any fuss.
It's not too late to give it a go.
It's like wrapping the baby as you do in a bunny rug, only firmer, with their little arms down to the side.
Hold him until he's sleeping, and then when you lower him into the bassinet/pram/cot, because of the firm hold the wrap has, he shouldn't flinch too much. Or have that newborn reflex where the arms and legs strighten out.
After only a couple of days, he should start to settle once he's wrapped.
Before too long, I was able to leave Leo, wrapped but awake, and he would fall asleep on his own within minutes. - :eek: My pregnant boobs want to have a let down with the love that this brings over me~!!!

That's all I can suggest.
I know that this time with a new baby is so precious...
But it's amazing how much more you're able to love a child when you (and they) have had a good sleep! :D

Good Luck Jodie, I hope what has worked for one Leo works for another!

Mala :D

[DoulaFelicity]

Hi Jodie,

Oh, I remember those days. :) I was shocked and overawed by the reality of life with my newborn son. I found the first 2 weeks the hardest; after that, I began slowly learning how to cope.

A key turning point for me was realising that when my son cries, it isn't going to last forever. It might last a few hours (and God knows that can seem like forever), but it will stop. I still have to remind myself of this sometimes now, when he has those random odd moments of uncontrollable crying and gets really distressed (I've found babywearing to be a Godsend during these times, but even then he might still cry).

In your child's early days, you need to accept that your life has changed irrevocably. You shouldn't aim to be up and about and engaging in the world in the same manner you did before his birth. Relish the chance to slow down and live a simple, moment-to-moment life with your newborn. It will pass so quickly. Sleep when your child sleeps. Feed as often as your child wants to, and enjoy that special closeness. Hold your child and allow yourself to simply be in the moment and relax with your child. Meet your base needs and your child's base needs, and accept that for the moment, that is your day to day existence - that is, sleep, food, warmth, and love. In a matter of mere weeks, life will start to form a rhythym more similar to your previous one. But those newborn weeks are a step into another world for a brief moment; I think I was unprepared for that with my son, and tried to fight it, which made adapting to it impossible. Next time around, I will prepare for a period of "hibernation" with my newborn, and just enjoy simply meeting his needs, and just "being".

It takes 9 or 10 months to create and carry a child; hours or days to birth them; the months following birth should really be considered a part of the birthing process; that is, a cosy time for the Mother and newborn to make a gentle transition to the baby's life outside the womb; glorying in it and not needing or being asked to do anything more. The months after birth are still part of your recovery period.

Try to slow down. Be gentle on yourself. Just breathe. Live moment to moment, as your babe does.

And know that at every moment, you are certainly already doing the very best you possibly can for you and your child. :)

It does get easier. Much, much easier.