Family Court Issues

[concernedmum]

I really need some advice on family law. I have 3 children and a fourth on the way. The eldest are from a previous relationship. By the time I realised my ex was a violent drug dealer (and addict) it was almost too late – I feared for my safety and safety of my two young children. I managed to escape and he has since had no contact with the children. He’s been in and out of jail and apart from receiving the odd threatening letter I've had nothing to do with him. I managed to move on with my life and met a wonderful man who has been like a father to my two eldest children, my son is almost 7 and my daughter is 5. We were married and have since had a son who’s now 1 and I have a daughter on the way. My problem is that the sister of my ex has recently begun fighting for unsupervised visitation rights. I granted supervised visits in our local community centre but for some reason this wasn’t enough. I’m terribly afraid of my ex turning up because he is dangerous and unpredictable and while he is the father I believe that he should have to clean up his act before getting access to his children. In addition to this I’m not entirely comfortable with the sister’s husband. It’s common knowledge in their family that when my ex was a young boy that he was constantly propositioned by ‘this uncle’ for sexual favours in exchange for money. While everyone in their family seems to think of this as a joke, I don’t really think this is very funny (maybe I have no sense of humour!).

To make matters worse, I was unable to attend the latest hearing due to the late stages of my pregnancy and related fatigue. I was however advised that if I provided a medical certificate and requested an extension that the meeting would be rescheduled. I was shocked to find that this wasn’t the case and that the court awarded these people fortnightly unsupervised visits. I’m terrified for my children but have no idea where I can turn. I’m in disbelief that the courts could order something like this. Don’t parents have rights to protect their children? How is it the relatives of defacto relationships can come into your life 4 years after a relationship breaks down and demand unsupervised access to your children? I don’t even really know these people. I can’t understand how or why this is happening.

I’m a stay at home mum and my husband is a tradesperson so a pricey lawyer isn’t really an option. Legal aid has refused us because they don’t like to get involved in custody hearings that could go on for extended periods (costing the government lots of money) which this one seems to be because the other party has an expensive lawyer and willing to keep throwing money at the situation. What does this mean? If you can’t afford a lawyer you have no rights and neither do your kids? That any relative with enough money can basically buy unsupervised access to your children? Can you imagine what I'm going thru here?

So I don’t have a lawyer, social services can’t seem to do anything and I have no idea where else I can turn to escape from this living nightmare. Does anyone have any information or advice on who I can contact?

[Jadesmum]

Oh my god, your situation sounds absolutely terrible! I find it incredulous that extended family members have any rights? Have you tried doing a google search on parental rights? Who told you that if your provide a medical cert that the hearing would be rescheduled? My goodness, not really sure what else to say really. Hope all goes well for you, where in NSW are you. i know a great reasonably priced lawyer but he's on the mid north coast. Take care xx

[WeThree]

whereabouts ru? i also know of a great lawyer who allowed us to pay off our debt to her in affordable fortnightly repayments when we were seeking shared custody of my stepdaughter, she is in penruth, just reading your story makes me so mad! how could this have happened to you, your kids probably bearly know these people, and i think you are right to be very concerned, please keep us updated

[cosmic]

The Family Court sucks!!!! :mad: Where they get their logic I will never know, but I don't think I have ever heard of them making a good decision (and usually I get mad about what fathers have to put up with, but it goes to show mums aren't off the hook!)

I can totally appreciate what you must be going through. Perhaps you can go back to court (I know - you need a lawyer for that) and get a variation so that you can at least demand that your ex not have any contact. What's with the sister popping up 4 years later???!! That the court would be in her favour is very very scary. Sorry I can't help you.

Good luck!

[sopolicha]

The Family Court sucks!!!! :mad: Where they get their logic I will never know, but I don't think I have ever heard of them making a good decision (and usually I get mad about what fathers have to put up with, but it goes to show mums aren't off the hook!)

Good luck!

This makes my blood boil - Yes the Family Law Court does suck and saying that it is always the father who have to put up with it - what an absolute load of bs. It is not about the father it is about the CHILD! What about the poor mothers who have to deal with the poor traumatised child after the court puts the child into an entirely inappropriate situation.

In any matter that comes before that Court in regards children and contact there are absolutely no winners - no one gets their own way so no one is happy, so everyone says the system is buggered and it always the men that complain the loudest, but there is not an alternative solution.

Anyway to get back to the original question - If you have a court date, you have to appear, if you don't the court and nothing else is worked out the court will grant nearly anything that the other side that they want because you are not there to tell your story, which sounds like what has happened in your case.

Legal Aid - what a joke, have you tried your local women's legal centre - I know the one in Qld offers free advice. I am not a solicitor by any stretch of the imagination but if they were my kids I know I would not be sending them, it will mean that you will be contravening an order - but if you can show the court that you have reasonable grounds for breaking the orders you will not be liable to punishment.

I really think that you need to see a solicitor - I am not in anyway suggesting how you run life in anyway but what about using some of your baby bonus towards a solicitor? And if possible get one with Family Law Accreditation.

[cosmic]

This makes my blood boil - Yes the Family Law Court does suck and saying that it is always the father who have to put up with it - what an absolute load of bs. It is not about the father it is about the CHILD! What about the poor mothers who have to deal with the poor traumatised child after the court puts the child into an entirely inappropriate situation.

Sopoli - I didn't say it was always the father who has to put up with it. I said the personal experiences I have heard which have been unfair have usually involved fathers. So what I said was the family court sux - and it sounds like mothers have bad experiences too. I went on to say she should definitely go back to court and get something done about the ridiculous order that has been made.... So it would seem we actually agree... unless I missed something??

[talon]

there is a pretty good community services directory on the child support agency website if you click HERE (https://olt.ato.gov.au/csd/default.asp)

I have taken the liberty of doing a search for Sydney (postcode 2000) and if you click HERE (https://olt.ato.gov.au/csd/SearchResults.asp?__OrganisationName=&__NumRecords=10&__ServiceCategory=9~Legal&__Town=&__State=NSW&__Pcode=2000&__Phone=&__Surrounding=True&__Electorate=&__Distance=20&SortBy=Name&__Page=1) it lists all of the legal services in the area under 2000 plus 20kms surrounding.

CSA usually have a few free legal services listed in there for the area. I hope this helps and good luck with it.

[mick199]

i need to go to court soon as i hae full care of my 2 sons age 3 and 7 child saftey r inoled now but will pull out next month and as i was not able to take the boys to start with they both went to foster care and when i was able to child saftey gae me full care the boys mum wont pay child support and has a drug alochol and gambling problem and is willing to go to any langhts to get the boys but not look after them i had to go to hur house with the boys as child saftey made it hard not to we were there for 3 nights 1st night was drinkind to 2 am then the next it was 4 am then was so hung oer and sick could not stand the boys making noise and wouldnt make them breckfast and she has some bad helth problems dew to her abuse of drugs and alochol i have all the case planes from child saftey saying that she did nothing that they asked befor she was able to have them in her care for any time but being a dad i dont know hw the court thing will go she lives 1400 km away from me and sherd care wont happen other theschool holledays but i cant let the boys go to where there going to be left at home alone or be taken to a pub or drug dealers house or even be with there mum being drunk to the point of black out or when she is useing drugs as there mum she shuld be able to see them but not under those condishions the other problem is hewr famley has a lot of money and im not working dew to a injery and will be 12 months before i can work so how do i get leagle help as well any help would be good