Advice for first-time parents

[Peaceangels]

There are some great threads on here for pregnancy, labour/birth, BF/bottle feeding, so I thought it might be a nice idea to start one for first time parents.

I don’t think anyone can actually tell you exactly what it is going to be like when you become a parent for the first time, so do you have any practical advice or tips you can share.

We all know it’s a wonderful rewarding experience (there's nothing like that unconditional love felt between a child and a parent), but let's tell them how it REALLY is !!

Here's some of mine, which I'm sure I will add to later on.
* Your life as you currently know it will never be the same, that means every part of it - toileting, showering, eating, sleeping, cleaning, cooking etc will be done when you have time and possibly never own your own! Be prepared for this to happen and let things change as necessary (its out of your control).
* Newborn babies are VERY time consuming, your day will be full on, but compared to what you are used to, you may feel as though you have achieved nothing (quite the contrary actually).
* Babysit for friends/family (baby preferably)if possible prior to having your own, just to get a little bit of a taste as to what its really like
* Well meaning friends and family will give you all sorts of advice, but its best just to take it on board and only use what you feel is relevant to you - YOU know your baby better than anyone else, after all you spend 24/7 with them! (Don't let them tell you any different).
* Watch the news at least once a day so you can keep up with what's happening in the world (it's very hard to lose touch, especially those first few months with a newborn).
* Nothing can prepare you for the lack of sleep, so don't worry about it too much, just catch a nap here and there when bub sleeps (much easier when you only have one). You will find your sleeping patterns change and you have to survive on less sleep than you were used to prior to kids.
* Don't be afraid to say NO to visitors, the first few weeks are so important for bonding and getting into some sort of routine for feeding etc.
* Plan ahead for an outing, leaving the house can sometimes take longer than the actual outing itself (ie, pack the car with pram, nappy bag ahead of time).
* Make time for you and DH/DP to spend together, even if it is just sitting down to dinner together and talking.
* Relax and enjoy every single precious moment as it goes too quickly!

Better stop now! I leave it up to the wonderful mums/dads on this site to share their advice............................................ ....................

[Rainbowbrite]

This is a great idea.

I agree with all you've said.

I find that i keep my sanity by having a relaxing bath every night. I make sure i jump in as soon as i know MJ is asleep. If she wakes then DH can tend to her.

Forget the housework, if you can't do it, don't worry. Your baby is more important.

The biggest thing i've learned is to follow your heart. Its your baby, no-one elses. You don't HAVE to do what other people tell you.

Also check and repack your nappy bag as soon as you get home. This is what i have;

a cloth nappy & 3 facewashers (good for spew rags)
5 disposibles - just in case
wipes
change mat (I won't put MJ on anything other than my change mat)
spare dummy
emergency clothes (bonds wonder suit, singlet, socks, jacket)
2 bibs

Thats what i use anyway.

Ultimately just enjoy it. Time flies when you have a baby. I can't believe MJ is almost 5 months old.

RB

[JanetF]

Buy a copy of "100 ways to calm the crying" and "Parenting by Heart" as soon as the second line comes up on the test! Pinky McKay wrote them and they're beautiful.

Join the ABA when you're pregnant and learn how to bf before bubs arrives. Anyone who gives you gifts of formula or bottles, say thanks and give the formula to your cat or put it in your pot plants. Mine thrived on it!

Get your own midwife and give your baby and you the most gentle and empowering start to life possible! Read lots of birth stories with women moaning and singing, and storming around in labour, even in the outdoors!

[miss_moe]

good thread.

i am still a new parent but here is what I have learnt in my first 5months:

- learn to read hunger/tired signs ... they are easier then trying to interpret cries
- watch your baby not the clock
- forget 3-4hourly feeds, in a newborn they don't exist
- get advise from everyone before your baby is born, as you will not enjoy receiving it once they are born
- record your babies newborn cry (sounds silly) but they cry like that for such a short time
- learn to say no to visitors
- though learn to say yes to offers of help ;) ... frozen meals are the best
- realise that even with the perfect latch your nipples still hurt ... unless they are used to being suck on for hours (and hours) a day. It will get better
- baby wipes are excellent way to 'clean' ;) the house. ie wipe the sink and the corner dust bunnies. other then that ignore the housework ... unless a visitor drops by - its their job
- babies wake up alot... at night time.
- a breastfeed is a great way to solve all manner of problems
- a shower in the morning helps you feel human

hmmm thats a start

[Angelmist♥]

What an excellent idea for a thread, ha ha I wish I had access to it when I was a new mum!

The best advice I was ever given was to get out of the house every day, even if you just potter in the garden or water your lawn, but it was excellent putting bubs in the pram and just going for a stroll around the block.

I was told this when DS1 was 16 days old, and I realised I hadn't left the inside of my house since we got home from the hospital! It was great to get some sun and helped me realise the world still was revolving! Regardless of how hopeless I was feeling at the time.

Also I have to agree with miss_moe and peaceangels, they are only little for such a short time so enjoy it.It feels like yesterday my boys were just babies but the youngest (for now :rolleyes: ) starts preschool next year :( ! Your house can be spotless then!! Although mine rarely is!There is always something better to do ha ha like fishing with kids or going on adventures!

I'll be a clean granny!!

[our little treasures]

*Join the ABA - TOO MANY PEOPLE HAVE TOTALLY WRONG ADVICE ON FEEDING!!
*When baby is born feed bubs whenever he / she cries 1 brings in great supply also calms baby down and puts him/her to sleep if tired.. I have done this with both and it is so much more relaxing and if they are not interested they will tell you.
*B/feeding hurts like a *#@*^ in the first weeks then it does PASS!! Then you don't feel anything but comfort and love!!

If your not b/f then don't stock up on formula as you don't know if your baby won't be allergic or have reflux etc. Instead by gift vouchers for later!! (I've seen a lot of friends give the formula away!!

*Relax and just hold and look at your beautiful baby, trust me they really do grow so very fast, it breaks my heart somedays!! :(

[our little treasures]

**** Oh and explain to hubby/partners just how much you do love them and over the coming weeks your not going to make much sense and ignore all comments***

:rolleyes:

[Lucybelle]

Keep your sense of humour - you will need it for those times you get back from the shop/milk bar/doctors and realise you have spew down your back.

[aardvark]

If you don't have one already, get a Dustbuster - or even better, get a wet and dry version.

[draught]

Buy a copy of Baby Love by Robin Barker and keep it handy!
Join a mother's group - you could end up making life long friends while you bond over the trials of being a new parent.
Sleep when baby is alseep.
If baby won't sleep and is crying put them in the pram and get out of the house - chances are they will go to sleep, and even if they don't, crying doesn't sound as loud outside!
Ask for help if you need it.
Enjoy them - they grow too fast!!

[LittleBoysRock]

The first six weeks are very difficult with a newborn. I found that as I was recovering from the pregnancy/labour myself it was harder in the first few weeks. It does take time to adjust to your baby and get into a routine.

I have found that once you get organised it isnt as difficult. As the baby grows and develops things get easier. EG. My baby is 12 weeks old and sleeping through the night now. He is feeding every 5 hours instead of every 3 hours as a newborn.

Keep your nappy bag stocked up and replenish as you go...save time right before you go out.

You will learn to understand your baby with time. It is important to remember the only way they can communicate is through crying.

It does get easier, even though sometimes it feels like it never will.

You will have good days and bad days as will your baby.

It doesnt matter if the housework gets neglected a bit. It is more important that you and your baby are well cared for.

Take time for yourself to relax...even if it is to have a daily bub hub hit... that's what I do :)

Also, babies dont come with a manual... and we are not all born with maternal insticts ( I certainly wasnt!!).

DH needs attention too. Make sure he gets a cuddle every day. :)

Share your feelings with DH, remember that he isnt a mind reader and wont know automatically what is wrong. You need to tell him.

I would reccomend only family at the hospital to visit. And close friends maybe....not heaps of people, you need time to recover too.

There are so many more things but I could be on here all night, better stop here.

Goodluck with it all. It is worth every bit of hard work. :)