So numb

[LilMissnBoo]

Hi Everyone,

not sure what to say.... It's been a week since I found out the I had a m/c and it is just sinking in now. I was only 4 weeks but gee it hurts! I feel like I can't do anything except for lie on the couch and watch daytime TV! DH and I have been trying TTC for 3 months when HPT came back with the prettiest pink line I have ever seen! Of course I did another 4 just incase the one before was faulty. But 5 days after my period was would of been due I had bleeding. Not a lot at first, so waited in emergency for 3 hours to have blood test only to be told my doc to relax and get your GP to call when I have my first appointment in 3 days! The waiting was unbearable and of course the bleeding got worse (just like your first day of your period) By the time I saw my doctor I was a mess and was told my pregnancy hormone was only 17 and I most likely had an early m/c. The way the doctor said it was so cold, like it didn't matter! I had a blood test the following day and had to call up twice to follow up my results. I ended up hanging up on the nurse who told me the hormone had dropped and "You have had a m/c, call your doc if you have any questions" I'm sorry if I am rambling but it feels good to type everything out! I just can't believe that I was pregnant for 3 weeks, had symptoms and then all of a sudden it has all gone away... Like it was all a dream.
Would love to hear from others that are feeling frustrated, numb, angry, sad and also hate daytime TV!

[Jules16]

Jac - am so sorry to hear of your loss!! :hugs: I can relate to your feelings!! I had my second m/c five weeks ago and it took about two weeks for it to really hit me with a bang!! I felt so numb, sad, angry and confused. And am still trying to get over those feelings. I think it helps to talk to a counsellor about it all - that is what I am doing tonight. I am even finding bd and ttc difficult to think about at the moment. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat. :hugs:

[bronny-jane]

doctors can be so insensitive:mad:
i had 2 early mc's before my bubs, and felt like no one understood what i was going through:(

and with my last bub i had a huge gush of blood at 11 1/2 weeks and was told i lost her.......and to just accept that my pg was over......but it wasnt.

i hope you heal well, and i wish you all the best with ttc:)

[Sarak7]

Hi Jac,

I really hope your okay...

I havn't been in your situation darl but i'm very sorry for your loss and sorry you've had to deal with such an insensitive doctor.
I really hope things start looking up for you in the near future.

Goodluck with ttc :hugs:

[knewmum]

Hi Jac
I know exactly how you feel. :hugs: I posted last week when I had my d&c. All I can say is, that this forum was a wonderful support tool for me and thats why I just had to respond. I know nothing I say can make you feel better, but it was just great to read and "feel" the support from everyone.

There are some wonderful people out here, like morganj, who my heart goes out to as well.

I too am doing ALOT of lying on the couch, screening phone calls and keeping to myself. DH has been FANTASTIC and I really do shout that. If it wasn't for him, I'd be a complete mess. Not only that, now I have a UTI but the ob kind of doesn't believe me. Hello! I'm feeling the pain. I don't care what the tests are saying. I basically had to beg for a med cert for work so I could have a few days off after the op.

But enough moaning (as DH keeps telling me), one thing which did "help" was lying on my cheap banana lounge in the sun, reading and getting a tan. Not thinking about anyone else but me. Got to be better than young and the restless. ;)

My thoughts are with you, at this very sad time.

[MilkOnTap]

Hi Jac,

First I just want to say I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I've had two losses (ectopics) and no matter what anyone says, a loss is a loss. It will always affect you - you will always remember the date, the EDD and other milestones along the way. Time heals all wounds and this too will heal with time.

Please take time out for yourself right now - and dont be afraid to grieve for your lost little angel. Pamper yourself, love yourself up, and get your DH to cook you dinner and buy you chocolate!

Take care and feel free to vent anytime you like on BubHub. I first joined when I fell pregnant for the first time, and I've been on for the duration of falling pg, losing my first bub, falling pg again, losing my second bub, and now finally falling pg again and having made it to 11 weeks so far! This forum is fantastic - the people are wonderful and understanding - and there is no shortage of encouragement, advice and support.

Take Care
Ally xo

[jcb]

Big :hugs:s to you Jac....

I lost my first baby (ectpoic) 4weeks ago now after having three babies already....I was 7 wks along at the time...The same thing happened to me...I was fine, got a little pain the night before I started bleeding....I bleed for a whole week before anyone would give me a ultrasound because my levels were only 25....

I was angry and very sad for my loss and everyone kept saying but you have three already....But it still hurts even now.....So I know how you feel...but it does get easier in time...
Once again :hugs: to you and post anytime the support on her is great.....

[Katie79]

I am also so very sorry to hear about your loss.
My friend has now lost 3 and i know she is feeling the same as you.She lost her last 4 months ago and she is still not herself.

You are allowed to be feeling like you are.
Yell, scream bang things.etc,etc.Dont hold it in.

A pregnancy is a pregnancy no matter how far.
My friends dr once told her that when she is old and somone asks how many children she has had.
She answears with the angels included as she was their mother.

Take your time to heal.
Theres so much great support out there for you:hugs:

[JuniorMinime]

Hi Jac,

My heart goes out to you huny, I have just lost my thrid baby in 12 months and it's all getting on top of me as well.

Katie is right though: A pregnancy is a pregnancy no matter how far along you were!

Just take comfort knowing that we are all here thinking of you and praying for you (if you believe in that-i do) and we always here if you ever need to talk.

Keep talking about it, I found that it helped me cause people get used to you talking about it and then they don't go weird on you anymore.

If you ever want to PM me feel free.

:hugs: to you sweetheart!!

Becs

[LilMissnBoo]

Wow you girls are fantastic!! Thank you so much for your replys, they mean so much to me!
Back at work today, can't even concentrate on anything!

Thinking about writing a letter to the Doctors surgery and plastering it on their front door.......:banghead:

[Jules16]

It certainly is mind consuming - I'm still having difficult concentrating at work.

[empty]

i actually read this forum at work because it feels like everyone seems to have been there and i have no one else that would understand why i just cant get over it.

Isnt it amazing how we go through so much and we still jump up and go to work like we had a cold.

Jac - my heart goes out to you and you are in my thoughts

[abeckaj]

I also know how you all feel as i had a m/c a bit over a week ago - i was 9 weeks along. I had a d&c and i couldn't belive that the nurses were so insensitive that when they took me to wait outside the operating theater they put me next to a woman about to have a ceaser - and kept saying "oohh isn't it exciting you are about to have another healthy child"! I couldn't stop bawling and all they said is "i think she might need some extra sedative as she is a bit emotional". People who haven't been through it don't realise that you get sooo attache to your baby pretty much form the first symptom or form the first BFP you see.
I have already worked out that for me at least it helps to tell a lot of people that i miscarried as each time i say it it feels like it gets a little easier.
I did have tough time this week though as a freind has just had her 2nd bub and brought her to playgroup and i was holding her thinking why did he find it so easy to have another one? I know it sound selfish but they are the kind of emotions you go through.
Another close friend is actually due when i would have been due so that is going to be hard as i keep thinking i will have to watch her belly growing when mine won't.
Anyway i am trying to be tough and stay strong and i am making sure that if i feel like crying or screaming or feeling jealous etc. i am letting myself because if you supress those feelings then it will eat away at you.

[Adria]

jac2210 im so sorry for the wat you were treated and that nasty receptionist... more than likely these people have never experienced a m/c.

I can honsetly say i never thought i'd feel the way i felt after my m/c, i can't believe how much it still affects, sometimes i feel so stupid for still feeling this way but i just can't help it.

Abeckaj that is awful putting you next to a woman who is about to have a c/section and saying your a "bit emotional"
I'm so thankful that with my d&c another girl was going in for one at the same time as me, had a similar thing and as far along as i was, just made me feel a little normal.
Anyway :hugs: to you all it's a hard journey.

[Jules16]

Abeckaj - sad how insensitive some people can be :confused: :eek: . I'm sorry you had to go through that. When I had my first d&c in January I could hear a bub crying in the theatre who'd just been born as I was waiting to go in. It's not a very pleasant experience. This time I went to a private hospital which didn't do maternity thank goodness. My two closest friends are both due around the same time I would have been aswell. Am trying to stay strong - some days are good and some aren't so good.

I don't think anyone knows how it feels to have suffered a m/c unless they have experienced it. You become so attached - it's part of the whole process of bonding with your baby. You wouldn't be normal I don't think if you didn't feel a strong attachment.

Take care of yourselves ladies!! :hugs: :hugs:

[IheartOman]

Hi ladies,

To those who have had multiple m/c's Im just wondering if your doctor has done anything to find out why?

I have had m/c's and it turned out that my progesterone hormone level would drop really low at around the 6-7 week mark.

It was fairly easy to fix, hormones twice a day.

Sorry to hear of your losses and I hope you all find a cure to go on to have a baby.

:kiss:

[MilkOnTap]

To those who have had multiple m/c's Im just wondering if your doctor has done anything to find out why?
My doctor didn't - I had to find out myself... And this is what I discovered....

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=47861

[IheartOman]

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully more women can see the importance of regualr STD testing and the importance of contraception, if they aren't already.

So can you have children now or does it scar you for good?

:hugs:

[MilkOnTap]

Oh I'm pregnant now! And have been fully treated for the STI so that is now non-existent.

Only thing is my obs wants me to have a c/sect and Im still kind of umming and ahhing over it... Will chat with him soon

[Tristans_Mum]

Shanilee - ive had 3 m/s and my doctor didnt do anything. I would have liked to know why it kept happening

[IheartOman]

Pink lady that's great! Glad to hear you are pregnant now :)

Tristans mum that disgusting. I hate how they say "oh a m/c is normal, we have no control over these things, you'll be right"

Ah no, it isnt always normal and I wont be right. By the third you are going insane. I know with this pregnancy I was so stressed about m/cing AGAIN, I would go to the toilet even when I didn't need to just to check. I felt like it was ruleing my life, I was even waking up twice in the night to check. I finally calmed down about it when I hit the 16 week mark.

Finally I am now 20 weeks and I know everything will be fine! :yelclap:

My heart goes out to any lady who has had a m/c.

:kiss: