Rare VENT about DH/HH (Horrible Husband)

[FOURtunate]

The past couple of days I have been steaming at the ears with HH (Horrible Husband).

He's been going mental over little things. Snapping at me and the kids. And this morning, he wanted to know why we always run out of milk and bread (Four kids? No S**T Sherlock!).

He'd rather eat the last of the bread so that I have to go out with psycho 2.5 year old to get more for the kids lunches. And when I get upset about it, I don't say anything. I retreat to the laundry to calm down over some washing. But for some reason he likes to say that I've started a fight!

He is constantly upset about the "state of the house":banghead: (FOUR KIDS!!!) Okay our house is not prisitine, but when people drop in unannounced, they ALWAYS comment on how tidy it is. Yes in the mornings there are dirty dishes from breakfast, and lots of washing. Normal stuff though right?

And now he's just called me on his way to work asking me not to be angry with him. I'm sitting here crying while I type this because I am so frustrated :crying:

The bizarre thing about it is, other couples we know fight about the state of their relationship compared to ours. It looks pretty perfect from the outside. And he is a lovely guy, who I totally adore. But I am finding his demands, coupled with those of a two year old, very difficult to keep up with.

Sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to keep the house going as though there are no kids in it.

Am I the only one?

[spoon]

:hugs: You are so not the only one honey. I am sorry you are sitting there all by yourself crying. But you know he loves you when he rings you saying please dont be angry.

Okay so here are the facts...

You have three older children. Old enough to start helping around the house. Start them now.

You run out of milk and bread because you have four children. Get him to buy some and bring it home every afternoon.

I dont really know how things are done over there and i am not meaning to boss you around. I am just saying that you have to get your message across to him.

Get him to look after the kids one night a week and go to community colledge and do something you feel like doing.

But keep your chin up honey.

Last night I got so angry with my HH because he came home and i told him i had been crying and feeling sick all day because i am pregnant. He did not even pat my shoulder or anything. GGGRRRRRRR Men are just dumbos sometimes hon. :hugs:

[FOURtunate]

:rolleyes: Yes. The kids do need to do a bit more to help out.

And he could buy the milk and bread on the way home. And he does sometimes. But the past few days he has been a PSYCHO!

I do have all Friday to myself, so I do get to have time alone. Mind you, I deserve it. My 2 year old is so very difficult atm.

Poor you about last night though. I was tired and sick throughout my preganancies, and DH/HH was thankfully at my beck and call throughout all of them. Maybe I'm being punished

[bronny-jane]

my dh has been snapping at me lately too......calling me useless:eek: .......cause the house isnt as clean as it should be......um yeah....i know a$$hole, why dont you help out........cause i work and earn the money, your suppossed to look after the house, everyone else can do it why cant you........cause i have a 7 week old baby attached to me, who only naps 1 hour if that between feeds during the day......a 3 and a 2 yearold who just love to trash everything....and a useless c##t who spends his time at home in front of a lap top:banghead:

yeah i know what your going through..:D

yep im a bad house wife......but a great mum:yelclap:

[EskimoMumma]

How old is he? I'm thinking its either a)a midlife crisis or b) that time of the year for DH's to turn into HH's..

Sometimes our DH's/HH's turn into moody snappy biatches like some of us. (including me lol)

I know it must be sooo hard, my house isnt 100% all the time. I'm starting to think about hanging a sign that says my house was clean yesterday or something. With my pregnancy i am finding i am having 1 clean/perfect housewife/mum day and the next im on the couch unable to move :banghead:

I would suggest ignoring what he says, making a list of what he says word for word so when he calms down a bit you can tell him again what he said to you.

[spoon]

I am so serious when i say this guys. Men have it so freakin easy the way they just get to go out the door everyday go to "Work" and then come home. I would swap places with my dumbo anyday.

I am trying to start a business from home and i keep saying it is hard for me because i dont know anyone who is doing the same AND i dont have anyfriends around here that i see. He says we do know people who have done it i say who and he says my DAD and his DAD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! They are MEN and they NEVER had to lift a finger to raise there children it was just all done for them.

Now rest assure that if for some reason i too work in a prissy office I would STILL be the one doing EVERYTHING.

Men are dumbos and i say strike.

It is not good enough that he is yelling and screaming at you hon. I dont think i would be putting up with it. I dont know what you should do.:hugs:

[EskimoMumma]

Yup..Its kinda sad when we all know for 100% without a doubt our HH's wont do anything still when we are working as well. We will still be doing all the washing, all the dishes, the straightening up the bed times..

Apparantly DP reckons he will start helping out. I only half believe him because he actually did when we first got together and i was working.(but then we only had my DS so hmm :laughing: )

I hope you feel better today. I aqm finding i have really down days too with this pregnancy, its starting to annoy me..

[tootiredtosleep]

My DH is usually pretty good and has adjusted to a messy house pretty well after years of living alone. If he ever comments, I just say "yeah, it is a mess!"

He does have an annoying habit of asking ME where everything is though! Like I know where every item in the whole house is kept. I guess this is because alot of the time I will tell him the formula is "in the pantry, middle shelf, on the left". He now expects it for everything.

Or when he asks "what are we dressing DD in?"
Excuse me, but YOU are the one dressing her and I am trying to get ready too, so put CLOTHES on her!

I'm sure your HH's phase will pass. It might be him just trying to pay a bit more attention to the running of the house and getting it horrbily wrong! Men think that they keep the family going, but we know the truth!

[Angelmist♥]

Oh dear, it must be the moon alignment or something because my usually DH has turned into HH as well!He's been snapping at me and telling me the house is messy and I'm lazy GRRRRR!:mad:

I had a go at him about it last night and he took us all out for tea, then got up and made eggs for breaky and got DS1 ready for school:smiliedance:

Hopefully it keeps up!

Good luck girls:hugs:

[SweetSerenity]

Yup..Its kinda sad when we all know for 100% without a doubt our HH's wont do anything still when we are working as well. We will still be doing all the washing, all the dishes, the straightening up the bed times....

Ha so true!
I work three days a week and on my days off guess who;s tyring to catch up with all the house work, grocery shopping, etc etc....ME!!!!!!!! But because he works those two extra days well it is my job! ha ha ... MEN!

I agree with one of the other mums that your older childrens hould start helping more, and tell all of them (including hubby) that regarding dishes you will leave water in the sink for them to wash there own dishes up after their meals!!!

I hope he starts appreciating you more sweety :hugs:

[2s'nuff]

Yep, my DH has become a HH lately. He's away on shift at the moment and due back Monday, and is aboviously having a ****ty shift this time. He's had me in tears twice today (pg hormones don't help). We are very busy trying to prepare the hosue for the arrival of #2, timber floors last time he was home, painting DD's new room next week, and this morning he starts going off at me about never having time to do things for himself (golf, fishing, 4WDing), according to him he's "burnt out". Well hello.....when do I ever get to do anything for myself?

Had to laugh recently though. We went to a friends house for a few drinks on a Sat afternoon, when we got home it was DD's bath time and time for us all to have dinner. I asked HH if he'd get DD bathed, which came back with a no response. So I got her in the bath and come back into the kitchen, looked at him and said "So, what's for dinner", then did an about face and went back to the bathroom. Yep, he had to decide what was for dinner and cook it, cause I wasn't backing down :laughing: :laughing: .

[trina73]

I totally understand what you are going through, some men can be so insensitive. i try and get everything done before dp gets home but most days i find it hard, and all i get when he comes home is... what have you been doing all day, galloping around the country side? well he doesn't have to work from home, looking after 10 staff while do the cooking and cleaning, look after a child with special needs ( i have a child with autism )and that can be tough, and run around getting my son to the doc and speech therapist and so on. and what does he do when he gets home ha straight on to the computer, i see red everytime. keep your chin up, i know how you feel.

[TJ]

Maybe its like the new kind of "flu" that is going around?
There are a few girls at work who all of a sudden have HH's as well.

Im going to keep mine under lock and key, i dont think i couldn handle a HH at the moment.

I wonder if someone can come up with a vaxine against it?? Maybe it can go on the PBS??:laughing:

[Squiggles]

Full moon perhaps???:devil6:

I suffer from HH every now and then - but luckily he is interstate for work during the week... but it does tend to make him a HH on the weekend when he expects me to be his personal assistant/ chef/ cleaner etc etc

4 Kids... he really shouldn't be complaining. I mean seriously anyone with 4 kids deserves a medal in my opinion - even if there is dishes in the sink or washing to be done!!

[neeky]

lol maybe he should come stay here for awhile then he will realise how lucky he is.
we only have 1 kid, and our place is terrible lately, i cant find the energy to do things. ds is away for the night (and dp) so this is my time to clean, and what am i doing instead?? im on the computer because the movie i was watching is finished and there was cr*p on tv!:laughing:

i hope things get better. just try not to let it get to you. and tell him he is responsible for something (even just the bread and milk) and if he cant do that then ur going to go crazy at him and see how he likes it.

[pookiesossige]

Oh, it's so similar here! I wish I knew how to turn our HH's back into gorgeous, cuddly, romantic men!

My DH is so defensive and angry at me and really makes me feel like he is so dissappointed in me. He has no interest in talking and whenever I suggest we chat about what to do about it all, he goes 'here we go again' and 'all you do is lecutre me' over the top of me speaking and walks out. I feel so sad and useless. He has made it clear that he doesn't want to have a friendship, just a co-existence in the same house... I have had a no-DH-vent-rule when it comes to bubhub, and I may regret this outpouring later, but I've got the tearies at the moment too! And no-one to talk to.. :crying:

I hope you are feeling better hon... I really do. I am so sorry that I don't have any advice for you, just some of these: :hugs: :hugs:

[Angelmist♥]

Oh Pookie, I just wanted to give you a huge :hugs:





PS- GO NEEKY!!!Good for you;)

[vanillabean]

I am sick of men going on and on about how tired they are after work! I work too, at home and my job is 24/7. I also work casually when he "babysits the kids". I still have to get dinner ready and do everything else when I get home. He can't even take the washing off the line!! He does help with the kids though. When was the last time I got time to myself (besides doing the grocery shopping without the kids)?

[bearsmummy]

Geez maybe it is some kind of flu??? I have had a HH the past few weeks myself. :banghead:

Its seems to be the same situation for me as well.
"omg theres no clean socks!" " you forgot to get meat out for dinner!" "why are all these toys everywhere?"
Ummmm helllloooo! We have 3 kids!!!

You would think if they thought we werent doing a good enough job they would get off their butts and help!!!:mad:

:hugs: to you all, i hope you HHs turn back into DHs :D