Yet another Child Support Q?

[Mummaof2]

My DH has been paying child support to his ex for the last 5yrs. We have always known that the Child support payments she receives always went towards her bills and paying for her social life as she had admitted it to us. Anyway we still speak to one of her cousins that lives near us and she always lets us know what is going with DH's son as we dont see him as she causes to many problems when we try to and her cousin told DH last night that his ex is now living with her fiance and that his DS is living with is Nanna and that his ex hardly ever spends time with him and is now using the child support payments to pay for her wedding:mad:

DH's ex's cousin said that she would be willing to sign a Statutory Declaration in our favour so that she wouldnt continue to receive the Child Support payments but I want to know is will we then pay the child support payments to DSS nanna????????

[InSaneOne]

you oculd always try to get some care now the the ex has handed him over to her mother. i would suggest talking to the nanna and see what she thinks. she might not want the cs but you could establish an account for ds and put some money into that for when he is older.


but i would call cs and let them know that ds is no longer in the ex's care and ask them what is going to happen now. just so you are covered.

[bubs_and_us]

i cant be 100% sure, but i would think that the child support payments should go to the person who has custody of the child. even if the nanna has 'temporary' custody, she should recieve the payments while your DSS is in her care. she should also be receiving some centrelink benefits as well. i would contact the CSA and talk to them. her cousin may be required to sign a stat dec form to back up the allegations.

good luck. but i wouldnt be paying the ex any more until you find out for sure where the child is, and who is actually entitled to payment

[Rainbowbrite]

Hey Emma,

i think that he would still be required to pay the nanna. Would DH & you be willing to take him in at all so that you know he's cared for properly?

[Mummaof2]

you oculd always try to get some care now the the ex has handed him over to her mother. i would suggest talking to the nanna and see what she thinks. she might not want the cs but you could establish an account for ds and put some money into that for when he is older.


but i would call cs and let them know that ds is no longer in the ex's care and ask them what is going to happen now. just so you are covered.

Great minds think alike.

I was thinking the exact some thing. DSS nanna has always been happy for us to spend time with him and we have already spoken about opening an account for him if nanna decides she doesnt want all the CSA payment or only part of it at least then we know that he will be looked after financially when he is older.

[Mummaof2]

Hey Emma,

i think that he would still be required to pay the nanna. Would DH & you be willing to take him in at all so that you know he's cared for properly?

Hi RB,

Yeah we definately would but the thing is DH ex has full custody (court order) of DSS so it would mean expensive legal fees. Which we wouldnt mind spending as long as we knew the outcome would be for the better but you can never tell with these things.

[Crazyfamily]

I don't claim to be an expert but there is a good chance that you and you husband would get custody if the mother has sent the child to live with someone else. I have been through a similar situation.
good luck.

[Mummaof2]

DH rang CSA today and they were not much help. They told him that he would need to get a Stat Dec signed by DSS school to say that his nan is the one that takes him and collects from school and also one signed by the grandparents saying that they are the ones looking after DSS.

Im in the process of writing a letter to the Lawyer i used to work for to see if he can put us in the right direction for now without it costing us a fortune in legal fees:fingerscrossed:

[Mummaof2]

I heard from the solicitor I used to work for on Friday and he said that he is going to look into how we find out if DH's ex is no longer raising the child so that its done the right way and he is also going to fight for us to put the money (at least 50%) of it into a trust account for DSS so at least we know that eventually he will receive the money that we have been paying for him.

I also find out some more goss about DH's ex on the weekend. Apparently when she found out she was pregnant she rang her cousin (the one that speaks to us) and told her she needed help getting money to have an abortion as DH wouldnt give her the money to have one. Yeah right, if he had been told that she was pregnant and she asked for the money then he would have given it to her. So not only did she have the child out of spite she basically didnt want the child anyway. :mad:

Also after asking the MIL for the court documents relating to the Custody case she rang me on saturday night and told me that there was no custody order put in place. DH was only taken to court cause his ex sued him for $3,000 in setup costs. Yep thats right even though she would have received the maternity allowance back then she was still awarded that DH pay her $3,000 for set up costs and loss of wages even though she had never worked a day in her life. She was claiming things that the child wouldn't have even needed at that time, like $5 a week pocket money, $10 a week for shoes, $80 a week for formula it was just ridiculous what she got awarded the $3,000 for.

Anyway now that we know that there is no custody order we are going to start spending time with DSS and including him in our family and at least then we know that he will have some good influence in his life.

[clarebear1983]

I heard from the solicitor I used to work for on Friday and he said that he is going to look into how we find out if DH's ex is no longer raising the child so that its done the right way and he is also going to fight for us to put the money (at least 50%) of it into a trust account for DSS so at least we know that eventually he will receive the money that we have been paying for him.

I also find out some more goss about DH's ex on the weekend. Apparently when she found out she was pregnant she rang her cousin (the one that speaks to us) and told her she needed help getting money to have an abortion as DH wouldnt give her the money to have one. Yeah right, if he had been told that she was pregnant and she asked for the money then he would have given it to her. So not only did she have the child out of spite she basically didnt want the child anyway. :mad:

Also after asking the MIL for the court documents relating to the Custody case she rang me on saturday night and told me that there was no custody order put in place. DH was only taken to court cause his ex sued him for $3,000 in setup costs. Yep thats right even though she would have received the maternity allowance back then she was still awarded that DH pay her $3,000 for set up costs and loss of wages even though she had never worked a day in her life. She was claiming things that the child wouldn't have even needed at that time, like $5 a week pocket money, $10 a week for shoes, $80 a week for formula it was just ridiculous what she got awarded the $3,000 for.

Anyway now that we know that there is no custody order we are going to start spending time with DSS and including him in our family and at least then we know that he will have some good influence in his life.

geeze the ex sounds like a peice of work! like she only wanted the poor child so she could get money!!! He deserves to be with a loving family and i really hope that the court sees you guys as that loving family if you do decide to go for custody (which sounds like a good idea)

You sound like a really loving and caring person and i admire you a great deal. Goodluck!

[EskimoMumma]

Since there is no order, i would also start petitioning for an order to be put into place. To cover everything, 50% child support that is given to her be put in the trust acct, etc etc..Best of luck.

[Mummaof2]

geeze the ex sounds like a peice of work! like she only wanted the poor child so she could get money!!! He deserves to be with a loving family and i really hope that the court sees you guys as that loving family if you do decide to go for custody (which sounds like a good idea)

Hi clarebear1983,

The ex did admit in front of DH solicitor and his parents that she only had the child so that DH would always be a part of her life no matter what.

In regards to gaining custody we havn't discussed whether we will go for full custody in the near future but we are definately going to be spending time with DSS. And as he doesn't know us we know that we are going to have to take things slowly with him so as to not cause any psychological problems.

[/QUOTE]You sound like a really loving and caring person and i admire you a great deal. Goodluck![/QUOTE]

Thank you for your kind words

[Kassiasmum]

If there are no orders in place, your dh can spend whatever time he wants with his son and there is nothing to stop him until orders are in place that state visitation, he can even take ds to live with him and ex wife would have to take him to court to see him if she even wanted to. I know it all sounds terrible to just say that his ds is now going to live with you guys, but that't the way the law works with no orders in place. It's good to see that your dh is going to take things slowly with his son and get to know him so he's not getting shoved from pilar to post, that shows how much he loves his son, he is putting his interests first, great to see. Good luck with it all and it sounds as if he would be so much better off with you guys than with his mother anyway.

[soph'smum]

Hi Emma

sounds like a terrible situation - particularly for your DSS. Imagine how he must feel not being able to see his Dad and then his mum dumps him with his grandparents!

I'm no great expert, but i think you'll find that if you go down the path of having DSS come to live with you, your DH's ex will then have to pay your DH child support. And if DSS remains with his grandmother, it's possible that you DH's child support liability will be reduced because his ex will also have to pay child support to the grandparent.

Sounds like a very bad situation, good luck - hope it all works out well :)

[Mummaof2]

I'm no great expert, but i think you'll find that if you go down the path of having DSS come to live with you, your DH's ex will then have to pay your DH child support. And if DSS remains with his grandmother, it's possible that you DH's child support liability will be reduced because his ex will also have to pay child support to the grandparent.

I didnt even think of that.