View Full Version : I'm fat & I hate myself for it
Ok...here I go. Sorry it's long.
Growing up I was always a size bigger than my friends and of extremely average looks. I was bullied at school with the usual "fat and ugly" taunts and so after a while I started to believe it. I never had boyfriends at school, I wasnt considered to be someone worth going out with. After I finished school I dated a couple of guys but every time I met someone they cheated on me. This meant I then just sat at home eating and not going out. The way I saw it if i didnt leave the house then i wouldnt have to meet people and no one could hurt me then.
Over the years this has happened a few more times so I have gotten to the point I have now given up on trying to find someone to love me. I look in the mirror every day and what I see looking back isn't something I would want to date either. My weight has crept up to a point I am now extremely obese and no matter what I do to lose it, I can't keep up the motivation. I lost a lot of my own body weight when I was pregnant and after giving birth I could actually fit into a size smaller than I had in 5 years. But that didn't last long. In the past 18 months I have gained about 20kg and now I cant bear to look at myself.
Someone actually beeped their horn at me yesterday and I didnt even bother to turn to see if anyone else was around. When they stopped at the lights the guy smiled at me so I smile back but that smile didnt reach my eyes. Why would he smile and beep at me? Im not worth it!
I want to get fit and healthy again so I can be a wonderful mummy and have the chance to watch my little girl grow up strong and healthy. I used to really love having my week filled with sport but the only thing I do now is walk. I dont allow my little girl to have my bad eating habits so that only makes me feel worse as it means I can look after her but I fail to look after myself. I spend every day at home unless I am made to drag myself out of the house but when i do go out i feel like people are laughing at me. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and crying at what I see. I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I hate being me. I want to be thin:crying:
Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. :hugs:
I know this won't solve everything, but have you considered joining a gym? It's great not just for the weight loss / increased fitness, but also a great place to make some new friends. If you join one with child-minding, it will give your little one a chance to socialise with other kids, and you will be near-by if needed. I joined the gym a couple of months ago and it has been great! I only get there 3 days a week, but because I have to book the gym child care in advance, I feel "obliged" to get there on time each day.
You seem like a great person, so don't give up on finding that special someone, they may be just around the corner! :)
bekkyboo
07-11-2006, 11:09
big :hugs:
I have dealt with body image issues only the last few years but they can really take over cant they.
I agree with Foxy about the gym - I find the gym can be my source of personal power - i do it for me, and the endorphins give me a great rush (and so does going down a dress size) - I use this as me time.
I have been so slack with the gym... I must get back to it.
I hope you feel better about yourself soon - you are your no. 1 fan or your worst enemy....
Hugs x 10000000000000000000000
Desertress
07-11-2006, 11:16
I know how you are feeling to a certain extent to. While i am not technically obese... i look in the mirror and i feel disgusted at what i see. I just cant bear to look at it because i hate the ay i look so much. I cant stand dh touching me becuase i just feel so fat and ugly that i dont see how he can find me sexy or appealing.
Having said that i did joina gym yesterday in the hopes that i can do something about my figure. That isnt going to be the hard part tho. THe hardest part for me will be teaching myself to eat properly. I have never been a good eater and i went through the majoyrity of highschool only eating maybe once a day. I am an incredibly fussy eater which dosnt help and if i cant see anything i want to eat i eaither get takeaway or skip the meal all together. I drink way to much coke which i am trying to wean myself of. I comfot eat when i am upset or lonley which really dosnt help either. I know i shouldnt do what i do but i feel like i have to self controll sometimes.
I really want to start doing things right and getting myself back on track.
Unfortunately as a single parent a gym is out of financial reach for me. Im hoping to get christmas out of the way and then save to buy a couple of pieces of equipment for using at home.
And even if i had the money for the gym, Bug refuses to go into a creche.:banghead:
Thank you everyone. I guess this is one of the reasons I love that I can talk about how i feel on BH when i cant in RL
I know how you are feeling to a certain extent to. While i am not technically obese... i look in the mirror and i feel disgusted at what i see. I just cant bear to look at it because i hate the ay i look so much. I cant stand dh touching me becuase i just feel so fat and ugly that i dont see how he can find me sexy or appealing.
Having said that i did joina gym yesterday in the hopes that i can do something about my figure. That isnt going to be the hard part tho. THe hardest part for me will be teaching myself to eat properly. I have never been a good eater and i went through the majoyrity of highschool only eating maybe once a day. I am an incredibly fussy eater which dosnt help and if i cant see anything i want to eat i eaither get takeaway or skip the meal all together. I drink way to much coke which i am trying to wean myself of. I comfot eat when i am upset or lonley which really dosnt help either. I know i shouldnt do what i do but i feel like i have to self controll sometimes.
I really want to start doing things right and getting myself back on track.
OMG thats exactly what I do. And now after having a child I am trying to get back to eating regular meals but after 10 years of snacking or not eating and then comfort eating to make up for it, I am having trouble.
I hope you get there too hun. That goes for all of us.:hugs:
Desertress
07-11-2006, 11:41
Its just so hard isnt it. After years and years of not eating properly or eating the wrong foods... trying to retrain yourself to eat properly i think is one of the hardest things. But its not uses in excersicing if im not eating properly as it will do nothing.
I hope you get there as well. Goodluck
Oh Honey........... :hugs:
Deanne you are such a lovely person, you give yourself with your heart. Beauty is only skin deep, but your kindness and loyalty and love and friendship are all through and through.
I do understand where you are coming from, I get the same way after my last bubs, still a spec of PND. It is so hard not to eat, cause its an association to emotions. Maybe you could find a walking group to walk with every couple of days. Maybe even a neighbour. If I were closer I would walk with you every day.
But you ARE a beautiful person:
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they must be felt with the heart.
That is what bug feels and your mum and your dad, and us your friends. I would love you no matter how you looked. :hugs: So would bug and your parents and thats what you could focus on, the LOVE that you have. When you love yourself you can look after yourself. I am here if you wanna talk hun xxooxxoo.
Love and friendship,
K
melbryan
08-11-2006, 09:10
You described me when you were growing up.
Sometimes finding something your good at makes you feel a lot better, Walking with friends, meeting up with people of bubhub has really been good for me. We have had a few craft nights which helps you get out of the house.
Exercise DVD's are good too.
I have just started Weight Watchers and I have a goal to reach and damn it I am going to get there. Make a short term goal and stick too it, it helps if someone can go with you for support. I did it with my friend and I lost 12 kgs.
Have a book next tot he bd and write down all your positives, read it every night before you go to bed and write something extra so you don't feel hopeless. e.g. a good mum, a good friend, thoughtful etc.
InSaneOne
08-11-2006, 09:26
have you thought about something like lite'n'easy.
http://www.liteneasy.com.au/home/default.cfm
it might help you to start with by getting you to eat regular meals. and for exercise just pop bubs in the stroller and go for a walk around the block or to the park and let bubs play for a bit.
thanks everyone.
Unfortunately I cannot afford special meal plans, gyms etc as Im barely scraping through each week on the pension. :banghead: And because I live in the middle of a central shopping and business area there aren't any walking groups in my suburb.
Thanks K. Your friendship and support is one of the few things that has gotten me through the past 5 months. :hugs: You and L have supported me through so much and kept me sane with Bug:rolleyes:
I got dressed up really nice yesterday and went for a trip into the city to play tourist so Bug could have some time out. I ran into an old ex and despite the fact I have put on so much weight, the appreciation in his eyes was enough to make me really want to do this. So Im spending this week cleaning the house and getting us into a routine with meals and then on the weekend I am writing out my own menu plan and shopping for the food. I so badly want to do this now. Ive also dug up a notebook (ten years after school finished and i still had an empty notebook:laughing: ) so im turning that into a journal. First thing Monday I start my new life. I can do this, i know i can.
Can't I?
melbryan
08-11-2006, 11:26
That's the way Love, you go gettem!!!
I always believe if you want something bad enough, you can do it.
Keep us updated!!!
Harmony83
08-11-2006, 12:44
I understand where you are coming from... I was always a bit 'chubby' growing up but since i had bubs I have gone up 2 dress sizes and my BMI says Im overweight bordering obese. Some days I end up so depressed that I have a binge session on rubbish and then just feel even worse!! I can't afford meals or gyms either so that rules that out!! And I havent been walking for ages (my own laziness!) Good on you gor turning over a new leaf I think the journal is a fantastic idea and will help get you motivated! I am also starting a 'healthier lifestyle' (not diet they never work!!) Bubhub is always here for support!! Good luck! And enjoy the new you!!
I understand where you are coming from... I was always a bit 'chubby' growing up but since i had bubs I have gone up 2 dress sizes and my BMI says Im overweight bordering obese. Some days I end up so depressed that I have a binge session on rubbish and then just feel even worse!! I can't afford meals or gyms either so that rules that out!! And I havent been walking for ages (my own laziness!) Good on you gor turning over a new leaf I think the journal is a fantastic idea and will help get you motivated! I am also starting a 'healthier lifestyle' (not diet they never work!!) Bubhub is always here for support!! Good luck! And enjoy the new you!!
I know how you feel hun!
I just wanted to wish you luck and offer my support.
I was just watching an old episode of the biggest loser and one of the personal trainer's said 'you do not need a gym to exercise.'
Just remember to take measurements as well as weighing yourself. Sometimes the scales just don't move (muscle weighs more than fat and I've heard before that if you don't eat well and don't exercise then once you start your body holds on to all extra fluid cause it's so dehydrated from the bad habits that it's waiting for the drought again and so some people don't lose any weight for the first 4 weeks).
Good luck, you can do it!!! And if you ever need motivation that's what bubhub is for!
ShadyCharacter
08-11-2006, 13:18
Hi there :)
Sorry you have been feeling so down, its awful isn't it?
Can I make a cheap suggestion? Try joining this website:
www.calorieking.com.au
It cost $29 per year, so is quite cheap. You enter a profile and it will tell you how many calories per day you need to eat to lose weight. It has a HUGE food database that you can add your food into each day, and it will calculate how many calories you have consumed for the day and how many you have left. It has a LOT of educational info to help you learn about weightloss and health. Its not a food program (though it does offer one if you choose), you eat your own meals and keep track of what you eat through the site.
I have lost 12kg in 13 weeks doing this, and it is actually quite easy to do when you can see what you are doing. I now understand that a few months ago, I was eating stuff that used up my WHOLE daily allowance in just one meal :o. The great thing is, it is much easier to eat well while following this program, but if you do have a bad day and eat something high cal for lunch, you can see the damage and just adjust it so you have a light dinner.
It also has a really supportive forum where a lot of people understand what you are going through and how you are feeling :)
Good luck.
Cheers,
SC
bronny-jane
08-11-2006, 14:37
i hate traditional exercise....:yes:
so what i have started doing is turning on some music and rocking out with my dd's:smiliedance:
they love it, i love it i try to dance as stupidly as i can...none of us can stop laughing:D
as for food, well im starting the csiro diet, simple food lots of vegies, and plenty of motivation......im a big believer of fake it till its real....just pretend you really do enjoy eating salads, and exercising...and then one day you actually do.
Thanks for the link SC
BJ - I have decided to go with the CSIRO diet as well due to the fact it doesnt cut out red meat like alot of diets do and I need it as im anaemic. As for the exercise, did you know Hi5 dances are alot harder than I thought they were? Im buggered after one and Bug does the whole DVD:banghead:
kristy J
08-11-2006, 20:17
Thanks for the link SC
BJ - I have decided to go with the CSIRO diet as well due to the fact it doesnt cut out red meat like alot of diets do and I need it as im anaemic. As for the exercise, did you know Hi5 dances are alot harder than I thought they were? Im buggered after one and Bug does the whole DVD:banghead:
Hi how are you Im kristy.
My sister is doing the CSIRO diet she has just started the 2nd book and has lost about 5kg but my cousin who was verry obese lost 25kg with the first book. her problem with the exercise was she lives in the middle of no mans land. but she would just walk around everywere. little things count take the stairs not a lift. a great friend (who is a fitness instructor) said she got toned by carring her Dd everywere she went. and to always have your tummy tucked in as this means you are always using the muscle.
maby you can put a sighn up in your local shop window asking if anyone wants to start a walking group, i know i would join if i was there so i bet lots of people would be interested.
this is what im going to do when baby comes as i also am overweight and live in no man land.
last year i bought a mini tramp on ebay for $20 this is great exercise and good on the knees. and i bet bug will love it too.
Good luck and never give up. the right person must love you for you not your body.
kris
Ashley's Mummy
08-11-2006, 20:21
Hey Dee - awwww hun you know i love you!!! I will help anyway i can, you just let me know!!! :hugs:
and of course you can do it!! :smiliedance:GO DEE :smiliedance: GO DEE:smiliedance:
Big hugs from us
Lisa & Ashy
Ashley's Mummy
08-11-2006, 20:26
But you ARE a beautiful person:
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they must be felt with the heart.
That is what bug feels and your mum and your dad, and us your friends. I would love you no matter how you looked. :hugs: So would bug and your parents and thats what you could focus on, the LOVE that you have. When you love yourself you can look after yourself. I am here if you wanna talk hun xxooxxoo.
Love and friendship,
[/quote]
i couldnt have said it better myself!!!
Big luvs Dee, u r great!!!
Thanks K. Your friendship and support is one of the few things that has gotten me through the past 5 months. You and L have supported me through so much and kept me sane with Bug
Ive also dug up a notebook (ten years after school finished and i still had an empty notebook ) so im turning that into a journal. First thing Monday I start my new life. I can do this, i know i can.
Can't I?
I'm with you, I am gonna be with you all the way, I am a notebook fanatic so i found the perfect book, what a good idea it is! Honey You are enough to appreciate, your friendship id more then priceless for me.:kiss: :hugs: I would exchange it for anyone elses in the whole entire world. What a great place bub hub is , such a special friendship we have. I am only a phone call away chicka. xoxoxoxo...
And if your on your way to QLD, only a spare room away :laughing: :laughing:
♥Heaven Sent♥
08-11-2006, 21:50
Ok...here I go. Sorry it's long.
Growing up I was always a size bigger than my friends and of extremely average looks. I was bullied at school with the usual "fat and ugly" taunts and so after a while I started to believe it. I never had boyfriends at school, I wasnt considered to be someone worth going out with. After I finished school I dated a couple of guys but every time I met someone they cheated on me. This meant I then just sat at home eating and not going out. The way I saw it if i didnt leave the house then i wouldnt have to meet people and no one could hurt me then.
Over the years this has happened a few more times so I have gotten to the point I have now given up on trying to find someone to love me. I look in the mirror every day and what I see looking back isn't something I would want to date either. My weight has crept up to a point I am now extremely obese and no matter what I do to lose it, I can't keep up the motivation. I lost a lot of my own body weight when I was pregnant and after giving birth I could actually fit into a size smaller than I had in 5 years. But that didn't last long. In the past 18 months I have gained about 20kg and now I cant bear to look at myself.
Someone actually beeped their horn at me yesterday and I didnt even bother to turn to see if anyone else was around. When they stopped at the lights the guy smiled at me so I smile back but that smile didnt reach my eyes. Why would he smile and beep at me? Im not worth it!
I want to get fit and healthy again so I can be a wonderful mummy and have the chance to watch my little girl grow up strong and healthy. I used to really love having my week filled with sport but the only thing I do now is walk. I dont allow my little girl to have my bad eating habits so that only makes me feel worse as it means I can look after her but I fail to look after myself. I spend every day at home unless I am made to drag myself out of the house but when i do go out i feel like people are laughing at me. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and crying at what I see. I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I hate being me. I want to be thin:crying:
Awww hun :hugs: you are beautiful remember that,you are one of the nicest girls ive ever met,wen i met you,you made me feel welcome i felt like i had know you for a long time.You are not ugly you are beautiful inside and out. im sorry i havnt found this post until now.You have been there for me when i was down and i am here for you, if you need anything just call.Hey when we went out together and we were walking i could hardly keep up with you :eek: you are much fitter than me i would love to be able to walk that fast LOL.I hope you are feeling better soon hun and you know what that guy that beeped at you must have thought u were a hot mumma;)
There is NO WAY an ugly person made that beautiful child Mum2Bug! :hugs:
you know what that guy that beeped at you must have thought u were a hot mumma;)
:laughing: SEE.... and she has met you... HOT MUMMA :D
There is NO WAY an ugly person made that beautiful child Mum2Bug! :hugs:
Apparently two ugly parents CAN throw back a gorgeous child! Pity her attitude takes after my side of the family:laughing:But thanks Suze
Apparently two ugly parents CAN throw back a gorgeous child!
No! :no: I REFUSE to believe it Dee!!!! LOL
Seriously though, it's great you've got some of your issues off your chest - sometimes it helps just to get it out. I hope the replies from these lovely people have pepped up your spirits a bit. And I hope you feel better about yourself soon - a person with as beautiful a soul and spirit as you could never be ugly, in my eyes anyway. But of course, it's not about what my eyes see, but what yours see.
:hugs: Suze
No! :no: I REFUSE to believe it Dee!!!! LOL
Seriously though, it's great you've got some of your issues off your chest - sometimes it helps just to get it out. I hope the replies from these lovely people have pepped up your spirits a bit. And I hope you feel better about yourself soon - a person with as beautiful a soul and spirit as you could never be ugly, in my eyes anyway. But of course, it's not about what my eyes see, but what yours see.
:hugs: Suze
Aww Suze:hugs: You are such a wonderful person and I cant help but be lifted by your words. Thank you so much!
SassyMummy
08-11-2006, 23:49
I feel your pain.
I have NEVER been skinny (well, I was kinda when I was like, 11...lol), but I was never as big as I am now. I'd always had curves too...so while I was big, I had an hourglass figure... now I'm more like a beach-ball figure. It's horrible.
I'm a size 18, and the fact that I'm into plus-size clothing is horrifying...it's really made me realise just how big I am. When I was a 14 or a 16 (not big for average women, but I'm short), I didn't care too much because my stomach was REASONABLY flat-ish and I could still buy things from hte regular shops. Now I'm having trouble finding ANYTHING to wear... I'm only 20, so I feel like shopping at 1626 (or something similar) is too "old" for me...and it sucks.
Over the last...I dunno, few week?...I've managed to lose about 5-6kg. How? I have no idea. I think I've cut back on how much I eat, but not to the point of starving myself.
When I make meals, it's just for me most of hte time (DP works dodgy hours and is rarely home at dinner time, and DD will only eat a small amount)... and so there's always heaps of leftovers. I used to store them in the fridge... now I pretty much freeze them straight away. It works well for me, because instead of eating them when I get peckish, it's an EFFORT to eat them because I have to defrost and re-heat them... so unless I'm really hungry, it's not worth the effort. It saves me from eating in excess a lot of the time.
I also really want ot recommend a book to you. It's not a diet book, it's not a cookbook. It's just inspirational and motivational (IMO). The Lazy Girl's Guide to Losing Weight and Getting Fitby AJ Rochester
. She's been there, and lost it (she's the host of the Aust Biggest Loser too). The way she writes the book is brilliant - I could relate to most things she wrote. It felt like I was talking to a friend with the same problem, rather than having some personal trainer/dietician telling me what I SHOULD be doing (but not really understanding what it feels like to be in my position).
She has plenty of advice in the book, and yeah, there are a few recipes in the back of the book...but it's much more than that. It's about $20-$25, and well worth it. Also, if you can, try and grab a calorie counter book to keep in your purse. I picked up one for about $10... it basically just LOTS of different foods (including diff. brands) and tells you their calorie content. It's a great weightloss tool (especially when you're eating out and there's no nutritional panels to look at).
If you want a cheap exercise: Jump rope. Buy a rope and jump. It's one of the most energetic exercises you'll do - and a great weightloss tool.
If you can't afford hte gym, perhaps you could go to one session a week (if you can manage to afford it). I'm a single parent (I don't live with DP) living off of benefits alone, so I know how tight it can be. The local gym near me offers 1 hour classes for $7 per class. I really enjoyed the body jam (kinda like dancing/aerobics type stuff) class... and even if you can only get in there once a week, it's worth it (if nothing else, the feeling you get from feeling like you're making a difference to your body is amazing).
Good luck with all of your weightloss plans.
I, too, hope I'll be down a few dress sizes soon!
:hugs: Stacey good luck with your journey.
I have heard about AJ's book. I guess it's about time I got it and read it. I like the fact it is written by someone who has been through it all.
I've decided tonight that im going to use a few of Bugs dvds for exercise to start with at home and then invest in some good toning and cardio ones when i have the extra money. If my 20month old can get up and do those dances, so can I
Or die trying
Ashley's Mummy
09-11-2006, 00:58
Hey Dee, I have some great excercise videos and dvds you can borrow hun. Will bring some along for you on friday!! mwaaah
Hey Dee, I have some great excercise videos and dvds you can borrow hun. Will bring some along for you on friday!! mwaaah
Aww thanks Lisa. Thats very generous of you hun:hugs:
MajesticMumma
09-11-2006, 06:04
before i had ry (2 and a half) i was a size 12 to 14 i was in a nasty relationship and ate for comfort, we broke up when ry was 1 and i weighed 112 kgs (i was 19 ) which is a size 22 to 24 i never thought id meet anyone else or that no one would love me but i did and when i worked out that he loved me for what he seen on the inside i realised i wasnt all that bad which made me loose weight without even really trying.. i am now a size 18 (at 21) which isnt bad considering what i used to be and at that time i was a single mum paying $230 a week rent and barely affording to run my car i brought a walking machine from ebay for $10 yep thats right $10 and i used it when i was watching tv or when ry was having a sleep (he didnt like going for walks around the block) that might be a suggestion for you.
once you can see whats within your exterior you will learn to love and honour and with that you will drop excess weight.
Just my insight anyways
bronny-jane
09-11-2006, 07:47
I've decided tonight that im going to use a few of Bugs dvds for exercise to start with at home and then invest in some good toning and cardio ones when i have the extra money. If my 20month old can get up and do those dances, so can I
my sister just bought a cardio kick box dvd....by gillian from the biggest loser......it looks like fun....shes a great motivator:yes: she even gets angry at the people exercising with her:laughing:
but i like the motto....dont try....that means you'll fail,,,just do it cause you really can:thumbsup:
i have 25 - 30 kgs to lose....i want to look like gillian:smiliedance:
Hi :wave:
i know how you all feel. At the moment i'm weighing in at 95kgs which is the most i EVER have weighed in my entire 30 years. And i hate it (me) nothing fits, and i know that all i need to do is take bub for a one hr walk everyday and make sure I drink more water and i would lose it with out problem
Before i had bub i went to WW and lost 16kg, then I feel pregnant, but that was it then. the weight just kept creeping on.
Luckily (if you can call it that) I am well proportioned in a way, so you wouldn't think that i weigh that much, maybe that's the problem...
Anyway, nothing seems to go to plan, and i hate my body - and therefore myself at the moment. Hello depression!
Belinda - :hugs:
BJ - I like the sounds of that DVD. And I always thought Gillian was a really good motivator. Might have to keep my eyes peeled for that one. Thanks for the tip and I hope you get to where you want to be too.
That goes for all of us struggling with our weight. :hugs:
bronny-jane
09-11-2006, 11:02
T I hope you get to where you want to be too.
That goes for all of us struggling with out weight. :hugs:
i will......im just going to do it....no trying...success is the only option im going to choose:wizard: good bye thighs:wizard:
Ok well its crunch time. I have weighed and measured myself (and had a cry at the results). i have already filled quite a few pages of my notebook and I am ready to start my journey towards a happier me.
And wouldnt you know it, today of all days my ex decides to stress me out. :banghead:
OK ladies. I have figured out the way to drop a quick kilo. Sick kids. I have barely eaten for 3 days (and had no sleep) and have dropped a kilo. Oops. Didnt even mean to do it.
I was at the shop this morning and ran into an old schoolfriend. Dont you hate it when they look you up and down (and see the extra 30kg) and then say "Wow you look great!" The last thing i need are those kind of lies. Especially when that person hasnt gained a centimetre of fat on their body.
That will not put me off though. I am considering starting a journal but am not quite ready to put my full fight out there yet. Hopefully soon.
mythreelittlemonkeys
16-11-2006, 17:22
I'll 2nd that I have lost 4 kg in last week since TIllie been off colour...I started my exercise DVD today...anyone find bits to hard?...my problem is the excess fat seems to get in way of trying to do exercises!! I also trying really hard to stop eating **** and to walk more (I am 86kg - was 73 prepregnancy, 100 at 41 weeks, 82kg at 2 weeks post Matilda birth and 90 a week ago)
I get really depressed about it all as nothing fits and I have this huge bulge/overhang where my c scar is...thought BF made you lose weight just makes me hungry!! GOing back home in 4 weeks so want to look much better than now and feel much better than now :rolleyes:
Good luck mytillieroo. :hugs:
mythreelittlemonkeys
16-11-2006, 23:59
thanks Mum2bug good luck to you too! Heres hoping we get this weight shifted before Xmas or at least some of it :)
blessedmummy
04-12-2006, 14:25
you definately described me when i was growing up too...i was the outcast at school..didnt have any friends... was a loner through and through..and all because i wasnt thin enough or pretty enough according to them! it was horrible....hated being at school... but when went to yr11 and 12 it was much different.. alot better..had friends..but still hated my body and stuff... still to this day ive struggled with my weight and looks... and find it hard to get motivated to loose wieght and always wonder what everyone thinks..since having the girls and that.. and my yougest is 2yrs old now and still havent managed to loose all the extra weight... i have troubles sometimes that dh would think that im too fat and ugly for him... but i know that he loves me the way i am and he tells me everyday! and im thankful for that!
mythreelittlemonkeys
04-12-2006, 15:08
hows it going Dee?
I have been a bit slack on the DVD front only cos stinking hot!! ha ha no A/C my excuse...but been for a few walks and tried a pair of holiday jeans on last week and they fit - just!! Havent weighed myself yet this week...and mums n bubs tomorrow at house which always means cakes!! but fingers crossed I will not be tempted!! I think I stilla bout 86kg but feel and think I look bit slimmer (maybe wishful thinking ha ha )
Hope it falling off for you!!
lil' starlette
19-01-2007, 20:10
Hi,
I had a friend at school who was extremely obese and in the closet so I have an idea of how you feel.He was harrassed so badly that he ended up dropping out. But as soon as the negative attention was gone and he surrounded himself with more positve people-he came out and the weight started to come off!
I think the best thing for you to do would be to see a counsellor, leave your daughter with a friend for an hour and find a counsellor that has sliding scale fees-I went to one once and it was only $40 p/hr. And it's not much when you think that you are investing in your happiness.
And another thing is when you go shopping don't buy any junk food,cos if it's not at home you can't eat it.I have NO self restraint when it comes to eating junk,but when it's not there you resort to eating healthier foods cos you have to...
I hope this helps really consider counselling though...Lots of big hugs to you:hugs:
mamajugs - i have no interest whatsoever in seeing a counsellor. The only thing they have done over the years is make me feel worse after seeing them regarding some other stuff. Besides, if i had that kind of money available, i'd rather spend it on a gym membership, not someone telling me who i am and what i should do. Im also not going to deprive myself completely of junk food, im just cutting back.
Well 3 weeks into the new year and I have lost 2.5kg so im happy. I have really enjoyed going out for walks each day, sometimes for up to 3 hours, just trawling around the neighbourhood. The only other exercise I have been getting though is Hi5 Dance Hits:laughing:
Most of my junk food has been replaced with fresh fruit so I am feeling a little more energetic. My family have been great about supporting me so that has helped heaps when it comes to visiting them. And twice today i got asked if i have lost weight coz my face looks thinner:smiliedance:
Emotionally I still have a fair way to go but i am getting there slowly with the help of some wonderful new friends i have made recently.
I hope everyone else is going well. Let me know how you all are:hugs:
Good on you MumtoBug!!!! Let your beauty shine thru...and thats what u r...beautiful!!!!:hugs:
Good on you MumtoBug!!!! Let your beauty shine thru...and thats what u r...beautiful!!!!:hugs:
Thanks hun:hugs:
mythreelittlemonkeys
19-01-2007, 21:27
YAY!!!! Well done Dee!!!!
I have slipped somewhat!!! went to UK and scoffed for three weeks...but miraculously the scales here say I have lost a kilo since 3rd week in Dec (I expected to have gained at least 5) I went for half hour walk yesterday and hour today...but just been naughty cos DH home - we had 3 dollars worth of chips!! naughty naughty...but in general I feel good!! must start DVD again :) need to get rid of my dinnerlady arms!!
Big wishes and support winging its way up through the southern suburbs across the river to you there!!!:kiss:
lil' starlette
20-01-2007, 18:12
Hi!
Thats great! I'm glad that your feeling better! Since my big health kick (2 weeks) I've lost about .5 of a kilo! I want it to go faster! I guess it wouldn't help that I weigh myself 3 times a day! Keep up the good work!
Kaya
bootiful
03-02-2007, 01:31
De you can do it...just use the charts I sent ya and we will keep each other motivated.
Hell, if I don't lose 15kg I wont be having another baby...if that ain't enough motivation I dont know what is :banghead:
Awww, Honey :kiss:
People hate themselves even if they are thin. I think you should be looking at counselling and learning to feel positive about yourself before you even try to diet. You can't do it if you don't have the self-esteem to realise you CAN do it and WANT to do it for yourself. I'm thin and I spent years hating myself and it was all self-esteem issues.:hugs:
Awww, Honey :kiss:
People hate themselves even if they are thin. I think you should be looking at counselling and learning to feel positive about yourself before you even try to diet. You can't do it if you don't have the self-esteem to realise you CAN do it and WANT to do it for yourself. I'm thin and I spent years hating myself and it was all self-esteem issues.:hugs:
NO COUNSELLORS
EVER. They have screwed up my life over the years even more and torn our family apart.
Thanks Sentara. Ive got it printed out and stuck to the fridge as well as the copy on the computer. I know i can trust you to kick me if I dont stick to it. I just wish this heat wave would do a runner so i could go back to my walking. It is too hot to take Bug out in it.
THank you to everyone who has pm'd me as well lately. It has been lovely to have your support!
♥My Innocent Angel♥
03-02-2007, 19:53
Hey Dee
just wanted to give you some hugs your amazing and supportive and i want you to know that you have helped me alot so thanks :hugs:
Good luck with your journey ill be here anytime you need me
and maybe i should join you in your journey as i am tipping the scales at hang ill go check 106
Definetly think its time for some action but my problem is i always say I'll start tom.:hugs: for you again and love ya lots
Take care and chat soon darl:kiss:
Congrats De. I know how hard it is to lose weight.
lexi'smum
03-02-2007, 21:21
hello,
firstly i would like to give you a big hug! :hugs: you need and deserve it.
and secondly i would like to give you a big kick in the butt! please, i know its hard but you shouldnt be so hard on yourself!
I know you would have heard this a thousand times, but beauty is on the inside, and trust me, you have to work on the inside and that inner beauty before you can fix anything on the outside, please, you need to try and love yourself a little more, i know its hard, and you probably think, impossible, but its not!
Focus on one thing that you like about yourself, and tell yourself how much you like it, work on turning that one thing into two things and so on, tell yourself about it everyday.
Slowly your motivation will change, you will want to build that list up, and when the list has already started it'l be so much easier to want to add to it.
You say that all you do daily is walk..that is excellent, its a start and its not something to shrug off like your not doing enough..you do not need a gym or stacks of expensive equipment like most people think, heck you dont even need 20c to get a good workout!
set yourself very small goals, dont try tackle everything at once, and please dont be so hard on your self!!
It wont happen in weeks, but thats ok, it might not even happen it months, but it is possible and you can do it, detemination and will power is a wonderful thing, and you sound like you truely wouldnt have to dig too deep to find that.
Mostly try be proud of who you are and what you've got, life can not be taken for granted and you can not spend it hidden behind closed doors, no matter what, there will always be someone out there making fun, but not just of you! these people are insecure with themselves, stand tall and walk proud, you need to face it to fight it, and it sounds like your facing it, so please dont be afraid to fight it.
If you ever want to chat or need any advice or motivation, please just simply pm me.
remember, we are who we are, accept that and we can achieve anything!
i wish you all the best we are all here for you.
:hugs:
Congrats De. I know how hard it is to lose weight.
Thanks Alicia. You have seen me in person so you know why I am trying to do this. Besides, if i dont, there is no way im going to survive pushing Bug on that trike next time.
Thanks Alicia. You have seen me in person so you know why I am trying to do this. Besides, if i dont, there is no way im going to survive pushing Bug on that trike next time.
I know how hard is to lose weight I could do to lose about 20kgs after this baby is born. I tried really hard after Jess was born and actually lose 8kgs but felt it wasn't enough. Then I fell pregnant with "Dingle" and actually lost weight instead of gain weight but was put down by my parents that I'm to fat and my kids will be fat if I don't lose weight
happybirthday
I know how hard is to lose weight I could do to lose about 20kgs after this baby is born. I tried really hard after Jess was born and actually lose 8kgs but felt it wasn't enough. Then I fell pregnant with "Dingle" and actually lost weight instead of gain weight but was put down by my parents that I'm to fat and my kids will be fat if I don't lose weight
Can I just slap your parents please? There is nothing wrong with you and there is definitely nothing wrong with Jess's weight, nor will there be in the future. Especially as she is such a happy, active little girl.
And congrats on losing the weight the first time. Thats a big incentive to lose it the second time, knowing you have done it once before.
mythreelittlemonkeys
01-03-2007, 23:25
Hi Dee - How are you going?? I have slipped a bit...combo of DH being away and being fed up of being broke - driven me to the fridge...I am now pretty much back to what I was in September after 2 months of having Tillie...so have stocked the fridge with veggies and meat to try and keep off the slices of toast and pasta...so hard!! Cant wait till it starts to cool down and daylight saving goes - will hopefully walk more with Tillie and puppy then too...starting a thing at our local pool called Active parents which promises to be good...I spose every little helps...frustrating cos DH lost 10 kg without even trying...grrrrrrrrr! and he eats much worse than I do...:rolleyes:
Feeling really guilty about food at mo, but cant stop wanting it...guess that the bfeeding...ho hum better go to bed before I eat anything else!!
Take care!!
About to kick my mother. Staying with them as DH has to work and can't take any leave due to him starting his new job in 2 weeks. She says to me that I need to start losing weight now :banghead: WTF I have just had major surgery a week ago and barely walk around without being in pain and she says this GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :shame: :banghead:
NannCass
03-04-2007, 14:20
OMG how sad is this !!!!! I too have been here ...
I found that things go in a circle and it is only us when we are ready to break the circle we will do anything to fix it......Easy to give advise but you will do something to fix this when "YOU and only YOU" are ready to do it ....
It will come around just try to be patient
:yes:
iluvmeboyz
05-04-2007, 22:52
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
bootiful
30-04-2007, 01:46
Howz it going munchkin???
I got bout 8kg off it off now :smiliedance: and I have hit my plateau :banghead:
Gonna get walking some more and starting the situps to get my extra saggy verandah back up in place.
If you need some motivation Ill give you a virtual kick up the butt :thumbsup:
cya chicky :hugs:
julietv8
23-08-2007, 16:29
I was in an abusive relationship and took to eating for comfort, after 6 years, a million tears and plenty of chocolate, I weighed myself and realised I had reached 135kg...Im 5'3. The last thing I wanted to do was drag myself to a gym with all those fit skinny people, I couldnt do 5 minutes on a treadmill let alone enough to actually burn some calories. So I took a different approach, I started a dance class (modern jive) where you didnt need a partner, I made some wonderful friends and the great thing about it is if i didnt turn up, people would call asking where i was...great motivation to get up and get moving. Also it was so much fun I didnt notice how much exercise i was doing. Im now down to 85kg (aiming at 65) but have cut out most nights of dancing cause of bubby on the way. But its done wonders for my self esteem, my body is fitter, stronger and more flexible and cause i had PCOS my doctor has attributed my pregnancy to the weight loss. I also kept a food diary outlining what i was eating and my emotional state, its good motivation to watch what you eat when you have to be accountable to yourself later.
good luck.
sunnyflower
28-03-2008, 12:55
excuse me mum to bug but i doubt you could have produced such an amazing looking daughter if you were butt ugly.!!
i understand how you feel,i put on ten kilos after having my son and i haven;t done jack about getting it off.
i have come to the conclusion that i am hiding behind being a little bit overweight.i feel sort of safe,no one will want me so i don't have to risk and feel hurt again.i really hope i get over it soon as i really want to lose a bit of weight.
i took myself out the other day and bought a few clothes and this has made feel a little bit better about myself.
i noticed you don't want to go to a counsellor.
may i suggest a really good website that helped me a lot with my self esteem it's called "moodgym".
jsut google it.it has a lot of exercises ,is really easy and you learn a lot about yourself.
good luck with your weight loss journey.
Wowsers. This is an old thread of mine.
sunnyflower - two ugly parents CAN create a cute kid apparently :laughing:
sunnyflower
28-03-2008, 13:05
nope sorry but she's too cute:p
nope sorry but she's too cute:p
Yep :iagree: her sweet little face always cheers me up, can't help but smile back when I see your avatar :yes:
How's it going? I only wish you lived near me, I could use a walking buddy, need to lose 20-30kg :dizzy:
Ciao,
Brooke.
Thanks ladies:D
It has been an up and down few months weight-wise but am all set to start back on my diet next week in the hopes of losing all the extra weight in the next 14 months before I turn 30. Im aiming for 25-30kgs so will see how I go.
lukaelmo
28-03-2008, 19:21
I know this may not help at all, but just after I had Felix, and was feeding him, I found out that dairy didn't agree with him.
I gave up all dairy, and lost 7 kilos, without even remotely trying. And I wasn't even an over the top dairy person either.
Anyway... I don't think that really helps... When I see little bug's picture, I can't help but think you must be absolutely stunning... She is really a beautiful little girl.
And although I don't have weight issues, I have huge issues with the way I look. I never had boyfriends growing up either, I was just never pretty... kind of ugly really, and I have always so so wanted to be beautiful. And it's hard to want something and not get it.
The only thing I can think of you to say to yourself, is to look at other people you see, and realise, that all of them, they all have the same value, no more, and no less than your own. Big, old, fat, rich, ugly, beautiful, young, arrogant, lovely, whatever they are, they all are worth just as much as the next person. No one has more value than anyone else.
I do this and find myself straightening up as I walk. I exist, whatever I am, and I am equal to everyone else.
Sorry for the rambling :laughing:!
Ali any one who has met me will tell you Im definitely no looker. Infact even i admit the ugly stick hit me bad lol. Somehow my daughter has managed to be the throw back of all the good bits of both of our families and has her own real unique look. (and attitude)
HelenHasTwins
28-03-2008, 19:44
Well 3 weeks into the new year and I have lost 2.5kg so im happy. I have really enjoyed going out for walks each day, sometimes for up to 3 hours, just trawling around the neighbourhood. The only other exercise I have been getting though is Hi5 Dance Hits:laughing:
Most of my junk food has been replaced with fresh fruit so I am feeling a little more energetic. My family have been great about supporting me so that has helped heaps when it comes to visiting them. And twice today i got asked if i have lost weight coz my face looks thinner:smiliedance:
I just wanted to say...good for you Mum2bug, that is the best way to lose weight what you are already doing....walking is the best....when you are able to jog a bit.....interval training really gets the kg's of fast....this is how I have lost my weight, jog for 1 min or even 30 seconds then walk for 1-2 min then jog for 1 min again....increase as your fitness gets better...you will be surprised how it works..... where abouts do you live....I could show you some of the stuff I have been doing at boot camp....you don't need any equipment only a park.....I have found there is no magic diet, just do as you have been, cutting out junk food and eating healthy....and lots of water.....try to have 5 small meals a day....
PM me if you would like any info at all:hugs:
Good luck with it and keep up the good work...
Helen xxx
I just read that you like in WA....like I said pm me if you are interested in knowing some of the things we do in boot camp...they are easy to do....well not easy.....but easy to learn....
Im starting to think I need to move to Brisbane. Everyone over there seems so wonderful and supportive and friendly.
Alas Im stuck in Perth.:hissy:
HelenHasTwins
28-03-2008, 19:54
It is the Sunshine State:laughing:
How to convince the ex to let me move????:laughing:
chicky2lala
29-03-2008, 06:17
There are always ways to exercise even if you cant get to a gym. I put on babes Hi5 dvds and dance along to them, or put on my music and dance around while im tidying up. Really works a sweat up!!:yes:
Sounds like you are doing really well!:yelclap:
Firstly you should make your self mentally healthy saying that you are really fit. After all the things happened with you was only might be your luck. Cheer Up!
MoOaNdLiTtLePoPpEt
14-10-2008, 23:51
De, you are beautiful inside and out....!!!!!! :yes:
Thanks hun. Dont believe that lol
What is even worse is that since this thread first started ive gained 15 kg from medication back at the start of the year. Grrrr. Time to get it off.
I had never seen this thread before now De!
god I wish you lived here, or I lived there.. I have been where you are (and how you seem to be feeling) so much! I am really down on myself right now too.. put on a heap of weight :( - we have so much in common
bugger everyone else.. when I come to Perth I'm paying for a sitter for all our kids (with your approval of course) and we are going to doll ourselves up like the spunkrats we are (well, I am on the inside anyway! :laughing:) and go out for a good old fashioned girls night and go nuts! :D
:hugs:
I always thought there was a skinny beautiful person inside me wanting to get out.. but she never showed up :rolleyes:. Possibly just as well, 'cos if I was, I'd be walking around in a bikini 24/7 and be totally up myself! :laughing:
LOL Jo will happily come out with you. And im sure i can convince the family to have Bug one extra night that week so we can get dolled up and have a girls night.
If it's something you've always had perhaps it could be PCOS? I had a similar experience growing up and nothing I tried helped with the weight/depression. I was eventually diagnosed with PCOS.
Two thing that have always helped me immensely have been to get out of the house for just 1 hour a day, alone if you can and go for a walk to nowhere in particular. It doesn’t have to be a fast walk, just wander around, look at things, think random thoughts, get caught up in the world around you. How does that leaf smell? What does that cloud look like?
The other is swimming. if you can go swimming every second day, or even just once a week where you can do gentle laps, perhaps breaststroke, you'll find yourself caught up in the rhythm of it, almost like meditation.
PM me if you want to buddy.
Unfortunately as a single parent a gym is out of financial reach for me. Im hoping to get christmas out of the way and then save to buy a couple of pieces of equipment for using at home.
And even if i had the money for the gym, Bug refuses to go into a creche.:banghead:
Thank you everyone. I guess this is one of the reasons I love that I can talk about how i feel on BH when i cant in RL
a lot of places hire gym equiptment on a rent to buy plan. might be cheaper than buying straight out? and places like big W/Kmart/target have some good pieces.
oliverjay
12-11-2008, 21:37
Well i haven't been on here for ages, was looking through the threads today and noticed this one was the one for me, only to realise it was actually posted by my son's aunty :)
I just wanna let you know Mum2Bug that i have dealt with the same thing through my life too!! when i was at school i got seriously teased and guys well they only dated me as a joke! since leaving school i have still ended up with the so called "men" in my life who have done the same thing as yours, cheated on me! when i met your brother i felt like i was given a new chance on life and although i have actually gained he still seemed to stick by me thru it, and even though we are seperated now i have decided that it would be in my best intrest and in oliver's as well that i have a revamp so to speak! so out went the old clothes and with a bit of hard work in came some new ones... i decided i wasn't going to look at the same old me that i thought really didn't have much going for her and decided my life would change for the better! so i am now seeing a dietician, i went to the doctors and got a referal to see a public one so being on the pension it costs me nothing and i have constant support with everything. if you feel as though you wanna talk just ring, you have my number and i will listen!
:hugs:
one thing that helps me get through feeling like this myself (i gained 20kg while preg) i have realised that someone, somewhere would pay to see you naked. it takes all sorts and you are exactly someones "sort" no matter what you look like. its whats on the inside no money could ever buy.
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