pro bottle feeding groups????

[secretsquirrel]

Hi I'm Shay
mum to 4 week old Jazmyn. i was just wondering if anyone knows of a pro bottlefeeding group running near Ipswich. i have found that quite a few of the mothers groups look down on mothers that bottle feed and i'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem????? i found it verry frustraing trying to breast feed Jazmyn as i have flat nipples and she has a larger than normal overbite, feeding became a constant fight and very distressing time so we opted for the bottle and it's great cos then hubby can get up and do the weekend feeds and i can get some sleep ( yes that wonderfull thing most of us have forgotten) if anyone has any hints, tips or ideas i'd love to hear them!!!!!!

[Elfin]

Hi SS

I know what you mean about some Mum's looking down on the bottlefeeders :( Frankly I think we just do the best we can and no one has a right to judge anyone else. Unfortunately breastfeeding doesn't work out for everyone. On the bubhub main site there is a number for a bottlefeeding group that meets in Brisbane North, maybe you could ring them to see if they know of a group that meets in your area.

Easterlily :)

[secretsquirrel]

thanks easterlily i'll take a look :p

[dana]

I have a 5 week old baby girl and I had Anahi in a hospital which was very much pro breast feeding. During the whole time in hospital Anahi was not able to latch on due to her tongue tie so I was told so every feed was done by the midwife expressing each breast for 1 hr for a miserable 1ml of milk Fun!!!!.
When we left not only did I not feel confident about feeding but we also had no routine.
After one week of no sleep Anahi was on the boob for 2hrs every 30 mins I rang trusty my and spoke with her,my gut feeling was I did not have enough milk wch became to be the right thing. I put Anahi on the bottle and have not looked back. She had lost alot of weight in the begining the mothers groups where interested in how I felt about the fact that I did not presist in breast feeding as breast is best.
My reply to anyone who wants to look down at me is that as long as my daughter is healthy and put on rather than loose weight is what makes me feel like Ive done the right thing for my childs health. And if you do not look after yourself and eat healthy food so your child gets the right nutrition then who says breast is best!!. Go to your mothers groups and bring out the bottle I do, they are all used to it .

[happymumbella]

Hi Dana,
I am a 34 yr old mum to a nearly 4 year old (bottle fed from day 2)! and one on the way. I commend you in standing up for your rights. I had a hard time in hospital from the postnatal midwives (who don't have kids themselves) pushing the 'breast is best' thing! I had an emergency caesarian with my daughter & then, had complications after that as well. They took my daughter down to the neonatal unit because she needed to be put on antibiotics for 2 days. While she was in this unit, they bottle fed her (without my consent) and then after a few days sent her back up to me to try & put her on the breast. She was a heavy baby, I was weak & quite truthfully, was becoming very traumatised by the midwives enforcing the breast is breast thing! Once I flipped out basically & told the midwives where to nicely go, I decided to do what 'I' felt was best for both my daughter & myself. I put her on the bottle (against the support of the midwives), and she was so happy & content. She even just slept & slept for 6-8 hours if I'd let her! I won't be breastfeeding my next one due in September. I love the bottle & know it's nutient content to be of exceptional high value (thats why bottle fed babies are often better sleepers & more content than those who are breast fed). I witnessed this in plenty of new born babies so no mother that breast feeds can tell me otherwise. I support all choices that mothers make. I do not however support pushy midwives (who've not given birth themselves & go off theory only), who do not give a new mother the chance to 'tune into' her inner God given intuativeness to decide how to feed their baby. Years ago, when they didn't have formula, new mothers gave their babies to what was called: 'WET NURSES'. These wet nurses were mothers who had milk available to feed other mothers babies where the mother couldn't feed. Needless to say, 'my milk didn't come in until well after a week that I'd been home (thank God for formula once again). 3 other New mums came up to (secretively & quietly) ask me how to make up formula because when they went home, they were going to put their babies on the bottle! These poor new mums were so traumatised by the midwives that push the breast feeding that, they were at a point of depression! I have much more to say on the matter, but to finish up Dana, 'Good on you' - Formula is great & the harmony between your baby & yourself is what is most important also, not the stress & mental trauma of trying to force your baby to feed when it's not going to happen (which your baby can easily pick up on). I love formula & support your view totally!! keep up the good work!! :D

[emilyhug]

I have just read your message happymumbella and am very pleased that i did. I am 22 weeks pregnant with my first and have been debating the breast or bottle thing. Your message has given me the confidence to do what i think is right when the time comes and i just wanted to say thanks for that.

[StormAngel]

Hi

I just wanted to say well done to you all, even though i breastfeed my bub (am trying to wean her now) My oldest 2 kids were bottle fed for the simple reason that i hate it! I'm just not comfortable with it.
The youngest 2 were breastfed because they are stubborn little monkeys who just won't take a bottle :confused:
Good luck to you for doing what you feel is right, i'm hoping to get this bub weaned soon!!

[WeThree]

happymumbella-no mother who breastfeeds can tell you otherwise? really, well i find it offensive that if i told you that me 2 fully breastfed children slept through the night from almost day one and never suffered from constipation etc(something only formulafed babies suffer)that you would call me a liar. To all the other mums, do what is best for you and bub, and dont let some snobby mums at a mothers group make you feel bad, if your not happy there, go to another one! ps happymumbella, dont make such silly broad generalisations based on your observations of a small amount of babies, did you ever think that maybe these babies settled better once they were on formula, because their mums were probably first time mums and very stressed from trying to breastfeed(it can be a tricky thing to get the knack of, i hated it with my first) so when they went on formula mum relaxed, hence they relaxed(bubs can pick up on thes things)

[StormAngel]

Hi Happymumbella

I would just like to say that bottlefed babies are not more content and settled than breastfed babies.

I've done both with my kids 2 on bottle 2 on breast and there is no difference!

To the other mums go by your instinct and make up your own mind weather or not to BF, as the saying goes "Mums know best" regardlees of weather you are a first time mum or not!!

[secretsquirrel]

hi everyone thanks for your posts it has been reasuring knowing that other mothers have been through the same thing. and to all new mums never let anyone push you around

[happymumbella]

;)
I have just read your message happymumbella and am very pleased that i did. I am 22 weeks pregnant with my first and have been debating the breast or bottle thing. Your message has given me the confidence to do what i think is right when the time comes and i just wanted to say thanks for that.

hi emilyhug,
it's emails like 'your's that give 'me' the confidence to speak up which I've been nervous to do for 3 and a half years. As you've read, emails like mine will cause much controversy won't they! my mention was not to 'stir up' mums who are all for breastfeeding but to support those new mums who will encounter - & I can assure you, they WILL encounter, the pressure that 'breast is best' ! I believe 'your choice' is best thats all & it is you I should thank for your support. If you have been debating the breast V bottle thing for sometime & you feel, after hearing & reading all the best breast feeding tips around, that my email has somehow, helped you feel content with your decision, then, all I've done really is confirm what you've probably wanted to do from the beginning already, would I be right possibly? BE CONFIDENT, you will be a great mum emilyhug! much hugs to you & your beautiful growing belly! again, THANK GOD FOR FORUMULA!

[happymumbella]

emilyhug,
it's emails like 'your's that give 'me' the confidence to speak up which I've been nervous to do for 3 and a half years. As you've read, emails like mine will cause much controversy won't they! my mention was not to 'stir up' mums who are all for breastfeeding but to support those new mums who will encounter - & I can assure you, they WILL encounter, the pressure that 'breast is best' ! I believe 'your choice' is best thats all & it is you I should thank for your support. If you have been debating the breast V bottle thing for sometime & you feel, after hearing & reading all the best breast feeding tips around, that my email has somehow, helped you feel content with your decision, then, all I've done really is confirm what you've probably wanted to do from the beginning already, would I be right possibly? BE CONFIDENT, you will be a great mum emilyhug! much hugs to you & your beautiful growing belly! again, THANK GOD FOR FORUMULA!

[LouLou]

Hi Happymummbella,
Just thought that i would let you know that I too had major breastfeeding problems too. I too had one flat and one inverted nipple and felt as though no-one and I mean NO-ONE understood. Anyway I expressed for my first bub for 9 weeks and used to get all sorts of comments from people I knew and others I didn't know about why Ii was not breast feeding. I spoke to my GP about people comments and she said to me "what business is it of theirs" and I quote it's like asking a complete stranger if they are having their period or what their sex life is like. People make so many assumptions about brest feeding, and it is really none of their business. As I learnt from bub number 2 - whom I managed to express for only 4 weeks, again I tried but did not suceed. When someone asked me this time (why my baby was being fed a bottle) I was confident to ask them if they were having their period. They would either look at me as if to say I was completely mad, or say why do you want to know. I would then answer well it's a very personal thing.... NeedlEss to say it made a few people think about what they had been asking. And I'll quote another midwife who was great with bub no 2 - " WE ALL GET CAUGHT UP IN BRESTFEEDING - LET'S FACE IT WHETHER IT'S A BOTTLE OR BOOB AS LONG AS YOU GIVE IT WITH LOVE WHO CARES"
Best of luck and enjoy the freedom that bottle feeding does - not to mention getting out when dad is home.... and not worrying about having to be back for the next feed.
Louise

[StormAngel]

Hi Louise


I beleive what you said was spot on!!!!

[Kirky]

I am a first time Mum to three week old Nicholas, and I too have chosen to bottle feed. Of course I had good intentions, and very much intended to breastfeed from the start, but by day 4 my nipples were blistered and bleeding, my baby was screaming with hunger, and my husband and I were in tears not knowing why we couldn't stop him crying.

The problem was, that he was latching on like a trooper and feeding for 40-60 minutes at a time, but little did we know at the time, that he was feeding for so long, as he wasn't getting anything out of me. We just thought wow, he's a hungry little boy that's a great feeder!

But by Day 4 we found out this was not the case, and that my milk had not come in and he was actually starving. In the early morning on Day 5 (1am), the hospital midwives got me to express via an electric breastpump for 15 minutes each side to see how much I was actually producing. After 1/2 hr, there was only 7ml. No wonder my baby was screaming. The midwife offered to give him a bottle of formula to tide him over, which I readily accepted, and he slept for 6 hours straight. It was bliss!

The next day my breasts were still in agony and I couldn't bear to put him back on the breast. I did try for 5 minutes, but couldn't stand the pain, so I gave him another bottle. My milk had still not come in, and after much deliberation, my husband and I decided to swap to bottle feeding, and we have not looked back since. As it turns out, my breasts went rock hard on Day 6, but the milk never arrived, and they were back to their normal size after a week.

The thing I love about bottlefeeding is that I always know exactly how much he is getting to eat, my husband gets to bond with his son more while feeding him, and I can go out for half a day and leave him with Grandma without having to worry that I have to be home in time to express or put him on the breast.

I fortunately had fantastic, very understanding midwives who did not judge me, and encouraged me to do what was best for me, which was very reassuring. I am lucky in that I haven't encountered anyone yet who has looked down upon me for breast feeding, but if I did, I would simply tell them to mind their own business. You have to do what works for you!

[Evo]

My experience with breastfeeding was similar to Kirky's. My DD was feeding for an hour at a time but not actually getting enough milk. When she started to lose weight (on top of the initial post-birth weight loss), I decided that the bottle was the way to go. Since then, DD has been healthy and happy.

I was put under a lot of pressure from a few nurses and also some friends who felt I was doing the wrong thing by switching to the bottle but my GP, other friends and my mothers group were very supportive of my decision (as they should be) which made it easier to deal with the other crap.

My DD is now 5.5 months old and the heartache we went through in those early days of breastfeeding is a distant memory.

[WeThree]

i think people only read what they wanted to read in my post and ignored the rest. i am all for mums having the choice to feed with boob or bottle, for some woman their is no choice, they cannot breast feed for a number of reasons, others simply do not wish to and like i said that is their choice. it angers me as much as the next mum when people question a womans choice to breast or bottle feed, i always get my back up when people ask? are you feeding her? i am, but its no business of theirs!! now i just say'no, im letting her starve' what i do have a problem with is people saying that bottlefeed babies are more content than breastfed babies, and the most ludicrous one of all, that formula is more nutritious than breast milk! formula does the job quite fine, but to suggest that it is better for bubs is ludicrous and you are making a fool of yourself to say so. breast milk is liquid gold, as long as a mother is not drinking or doing drugs (and lets face it the majority of mums who are breastfeeding would certainly not be doing this) and even if a mother is not eating the absolute best diet there are nutrients in breast milk that could never ever be replicated, even in the best formulas. one tiny dab of breast milk on conjunctivitis will get rid of it almost instantly, breastfed babies rarely if ever get colds or flu, or allergies or stomach bugs or wind problems. i am sorry if this post has ended up advocating breastfeeding as that was not my intention, my intention was to support a mum who was getting critisiced just for trying to do what was right for her and her baby, but when i read stupid comments like that i just have to say something!

[susansaltin]

I was so happy to hear that their is other mothers that went through what I did I truely tryed to breast feed both my kids and it didn't work. I bottle fed. They were very healthy and happy. A lot of the breastfeeding studies are biased.

[~Bec~]

Hi I'm Shay
mum to 4 week old Jazmyn. i was just wondering if anyone knows of a pro bottlefeeding group running near Ipswich. i have found that quite a few of the mothers groups look down on mothers that bottle feed and i'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem????? i found it verry frustraing trying to breast feed Jazmyn as i have flat nipples and she has a larger than normal overbite, feeding became a constant fight and very distressing time so we opted for the bottle and it's great cos then hubby can get up and do the weekend feeds and i can get some sleep ( yes that wonderfull thing most of us have forgotten) if anyone has any hints, tips or ideas i'd love to hear them!!!!!!

I totally hear what you're saying. I remember the first time I went to a mother class and every other woman in the room was bf'ing and I just felt so inadequate because I failed to do that. (Not that they said or did anything, it was just really hard to be in a room with 8 bf'ing mothers.) The short story is that I tried to bf but had lots of problems so ended up just expressing for 3-4 months and topping up with formula. I don't feel guilty for giving up because guilt implies that I did something wrong. Eight months later, however, I still carry feelings of inadequacy. :(

I have since learned that it is VERY common to have lots of problems establishing a bf relationship, although it just doesn't seem to be publicised that much or your pain and problems are trivialised by well meaning people. I'd be interested to know of proper stats on the number of women who experience pain, cracked nipples etc when starting bf.

Don't let anyone make you feel less of a mother. :no:

You will find the bottlefeeding section on BH will be supportive too. :yes:



I love the bottle & know it's nutient content to be of exceptional high value (thats why bottle fed babies are often better sleepers & more content than those who are breast fed). I witnessed this in plenty of new born babies so no mother that breast feeds can tell me otherwise.


I believe the reason for this is because formula takes longer to digest than bf (bf being a body fluid) hence it is generally longer between bottle feeds than breast feeds. Breastmilk is nutritionally unsurpassable. I would recommend all new mothers to try to bf if possible. :) The bf ladies on BH can give you lots of information about the wonderful content of bm.

[Little Gorilla]

I think its a shame you are going to look for a mothers/playgroup that is pro-bottle feeding.

Why not just keep trying the groups in your area rather than select one on feeding criteria only?

I go to a playgroup where its a bout a 50/50 split on bottle feeding and breast feeding - and truthfully if I had not spend the last 2 years watching alot of the mothers at my group breast feed I might not have wanted to give breast feeding a go with #2 when I give birth in July.

DS1 was bottle fed from about 4 weeks and if I had closed my mind off to the thought of being around breast feeding mums (who can teach alot), then I may not even be contemplating trying breast feeding now.

I also feel this way for mother who specifically seek out groups that only breast feed.

There can be a lovely healthly balance between the 2.

Out of my say 6 closests mummy friends - 4 breast feed and 2 didn't - but I can't wait to call upon the experience of those 4 that did in a few months once #2 arrives.

[SassyMummy]

....this thread is quite old - about 2 months short of 3 years old (before my DD was born! lol). :p

[Little Gorilla]

....this thread is quite old - about 2 months short of 3 years old (before my DD was born! lol). :p

ha ha - think I should have looked at that before I posted - but I suppose my post was just to broaden the mind of someone that might just specifically be looking for a pro bottle feeding group.

[RedPanda]

Thanks BubbaGanoush. You're right - your post may provide some info and confidence to someone in a similar situation in the future.

I'll close it now though cause it is pretty old.

Thanks to all who contributed :thumbsup: