View Full Version : Trouble in paradise
still in pjs
My DD is now 5 weeks old and I am still having some trouble BF (mainly attachment issues, which has resulted in cracked nipples). I have been to see a lactation consultant twice, had friends (other mums) come to give me help, and been to an ABA meeting and talked to their counsellers. It is (very) slowly getting better, but I was wondering if other mums have had the same experience? i.e. taking so long to get things working well?
I feel that I am a slow learner - nothing has ever taken me so long to learn before! It is frustrating and I'm not sure how long I can stick with it before I resort to formula (which is something I'd never considered before because I didn't know how hard BF could be). Otherwise I feel that it will interfere with the bonding between me and my DD.
How long did other mums take to get comfortable BF and everything working well every time?
How long do you think it's reasonable to give BF a go before giving up and using formula?
Hi there! Dont be so hard on yourself! You've just had a beautiful baby and I know it is very easy to despair in those early days about everything as it is all sooo new and unknown! and you're not a slow learner at all - its a big job!
Despite what you may have thought or heard- breastfeeding is not always easy for everyone - but if you can do it - its worth it - but if you can't its not the end of the world:)
Having said that - your milk and breasts don't actually really settle down ( for want of a better expression) till about 6 weeks. So its worth trying to hang out a little bit longer.
If you are still having difficulty - You could also try going to one of the "day stays" that Tresillian or Karitane offer - they are quite good - because you are there for a whole day - not just a glimpse of whats happening and the lovely ladies there will be able to observe you and help you over a longer period of time.
I hope you feel better soon :)
Hugs to you and many congratulations on the wonderful job you're doing! Do you drive a car? Most of us take months to learn that skill and have a few goes to pass the test. Same with bf! It's a new skill, with a whole lot of other new stuff around it like learning about your new baby, dealing with all the massive physical and emotional changes at the end of pregnancy, recovering from birth, all that stuff is huge! Most women find the first 6 weeks the most challenging and after that it's plain sailing to a greater or lesser degree. Well done for working so hard for something so worthwhile! You might like to read this for some inspiration and support *hugs*
Find other booby mamas to hang out with so bf is normal in your day! I'm still boobing at nearly 2 years and loving it :)
Good luck hon, try and hang in there. You are still recovering yourself, your homones are going nuts.
I didn't breastfeed, so I can't really offer any advice, just support. If all else fails, someone else suggested Tresillian. A friend of mine went to a clinic like that and it helped her enormously.
Good luck and there's an open ear for venting here if you need it.
Firstly, congrats on your new bub. I had my 1st bub 11wks ago and experienced difficulty bf for the first 3-4 wks. Very similar problems with attachment, and by bub kept going to sleep within 1-2mins! I had lactation consultants visit me at home, went to see my own GP, and even went back to hospistal to speak with midwives. Everyone told me the same thing...keep trying, it will be worth it in the long run. I was worried sick, but was told that unless bub got dehydrated or lost to much weight, don't stress. Bub and I did get the hang of things, and it happened very suddenly..so don't give up just yet. :)
Hey Still in Pj's! (love the handle!)
I had issues until about eight weeks, and went to see a lactation consultant also for a couple of visits. I read an article on optimal attachment, and the following is what style it recommended;
* Sit in a comfy chair, well supported so your back wont hurt
* Use a good fat pillow so your baby is level with your breasts
* Lie your baby across the pillow in front of you, so that the level of their mouth is even with your nipple
* Roll your baby toward you so they are snuggled into your front, but their mouth is still even with your nipple
* Place one hand (opposite side) between your baby's shoulder blades, supporting the head gently below the ears with your fingers
* Grab your breast (sounds nice I know!! :D ) with your other hand, and firmly squeeze it at the 9 and 3 o'clock positions so you can jam as much breast into your baby's mouth as possible
* When bringing your baby toward the breast press gently between the shoulder blades to help the mouth open wider.
* Hopefully your baby should be well attached!
I found with Zak, I didn't have enough breast in his mouth and that's why it hurt so much. Practice makes perfect, and it sounds like you're doing well. I know sometimes it can seem almost impossible to continue, but it is so worth it if you can.
Hope everything goes well, and you can understand my sleep deprived ramble above! ;)
Congrats on your new bub 'Still in pj's' what a wonderful time for you! :D
You have some really good advice here so I won't add too much, but hang in there as soon you will have forgotten this rough patch and you will be so glad you perservered - trust me!
Have you tried Lasinoh cream (from the Chemist) for your cracked nipples, I found this was the only thing that worked.
It took my DD and I about 4 months to get things together with BF. It wasn't easy but sooooo worth the effort. I know it is really hard - physically and emotionally, but just hang in there if you can. If you think that there is an attachment problem then you should keep seeing people until you find someone who can help you get it right. Theres not much point in persisting with the wrong technique, if you know what I mean. At the risk of sounding like a TV add "it won't happen overnight, but it WILL happen!"
I really hope it gets easier for you and your beautiful bub soon. :o
Hi Still in PJs
I had troubles with DD1 for about 3 months and saw a lactation consultant HEAPS. We had to express all of her feeds initially because she had trouble latching on. She had a tongue tie and receding chin, which made it v difficult. My nipples were also VERY flat (almost inverted), so she had to do A LOT of "remodelling" to get them right to latch onto. This remodelling involved A LOT of cracks and as each one healed, the nipple was that little bit longer. I felt much better about it once I realised that even the cracks were helping us along the path.
Having had such a diff time with DD1, I thought DD2 would be a breeze. But she to had to do some remodelling (fortunately only on one side yay :) ). But I persisted in the end and was so glad that I did. I love those times when baby doesn't have a dirty nappy for a week (say goodbye to that once you start solids :( ), I love the convenience of going out for hours and only taking your boobs, I love not having to sterilise bottles and I love the immunological benefits of BF.
Persistence will get you there in the end (and even those very painful cracks are worth it)
That was a great post xkwzit. Good on you for all your persistance. :)
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