Touching your bits - what to say/do?

[SassyMummy]

The other day, DD was in the bath with her dad. She's 15 months. She hasn't been in the bath with him since she was a newborn... and so obviously, now, she's more active.

Anyway, she kept pointing to, and poking, his penis. We laughed (tried not to), and told her not to touch.

DD was also not breastfed for very long, but has a fascination with my boobs. She even says "Boobies," even though she can hardly say anything. She likes to try and rip my top off just to find the nipple, and poke it and say "Boobie". I

I've been trying to tell her no, not to do it, but of course, she's determined, and won't let my words get in her way.

What am I supposed to do/say?

[Shanaynay]

I would try "No, only Daddy can touch that: (for his penis), and "NO only Mummy to touch" for your boobies. Doing this is also good practice to get into in relation to her own parts so when she gets older she knows its only ok for HER to touch herself, nobody else.

lol though! :laughing: good luck!

[stellarella]

I would actually not worry about it or draw attention to the fact that she "isnt allowed to touch" as kids tend to want to do what they are not allowed to do iykwim.

maybe just talk to her normally about what they are...kids are just inquisitive.

[AM]

Totally agree with the previous poster.
Just act the same as you would if she was poking your foot or your elbow, it is all about learning, just because they are genitals shouldn't make any difference, and boobs, well, my kids hang off them all the time, and my older son cuddles them to sleep sometimes, it's all good really, I think acting differently about those parts of your/their bodies can just contribute to hang ups.
Of course, when a child is ready it is really important to teach them about 'bad' touching etc... but that is a fair way off yet.

[SilverStarfish]

I would try "No, only Daddy can touch that: (for his penis), and "NO only Mummy to touch" for your boobies. Doing this is also good practice to get into in relation to her own parts so when she gets older she knows its only ok for HER to touch herself, nobody else.

lol though! :laughing: good luck!


That's a really good answer! I'll have to file that one away for future reference :detective:

[jade21887]

I know what you mean!! Soph's started to find my boobs fascinating, she'll pull my top up and pinch my nipples!! Ouch! I usually just say no. If it wasnt hurting me, I probably would just ignore it, but yowee!!

[MummyCharmzy]

My kids have all had stages of being fascinated with my boobs and until they are about 2 I dont mind but after that time I start the 'no they're mummys', DS went through a stage when he was almost 3 of trying to touch them all the time - I'm sure it was because he saw me trying to bf DD and expressing and I just told him no thats where bubby gets milk from, similar thing happened a cpl of months ago when DD2 was born... he quickly learnt that it was inappropriate though and stopped doing it.

Both my DDs aged 4 months and 16 months use them for comfort when im bottlefeeding them they have there hands inbetween them lol its very cute actually but it is a comfort thing.

I would definitely be saying 'no thats daddys' to touching his penis though. I don't think its too young to start teaching that you should not touch like that.

[Sarie]

With our boys we tell them that they only touch their own and no-one elses. It works pretty well for us. They also know that they don't let anyone else touch them, with the exception on us of course.
It's hard with little ones, but if they go to touch just keep saying 'No it's daddy's/mummy's' they get the hang of it eventually.

[Duchessa]

I'm with Stellarella and Apprenticemumma on this one. Both my girls have a nipple fascination and love to poke my nipples. I just say "they are mummies nipples" let them poke them and then divert them by saying "and these are your nipples" at which point they become so fascinated with poking their own that they forget about mine.

Same with genitals. If they go to poke Dad's penis or my vagina I say the same "That is mums vagina and that is your vagina". Their's have thus far been more interesting than mine, although they are quite fascinated with my pubic hair and one of them even patted it the other day and said "miaow" :D Priceless.

[nut]

Great answer Duchessa!

My 2y.o. DS saw my pubic hair the other day. He came up and patted it and said "Oh mummy that's lovely!":laughing:

I think the less of a big deal you make about it the sooner it will disappear.

[stellarella]

I'm with Stellarella and Apprenticemumma on this one. Both my girls have a nipple fascination and love to poke my nipples. I just say "they are mummies nipples" let them poke them and then divert them by saying "and these are your nipples" at which point they become so fascinated with poking their own that they forget about mine.

Same with genitals. If they go to poke Dad's penis or my vagina I say the same "That is mums vagina and that is your vagina". Their's have thus far been more interesting than mine, although they are quite fascinated with my pubic hair and one of them even patted it the other day and said "miaow" :D Priceless.

We were a very open family with regards to nudity. With the exception of my dad who had a strict conservative upbringing so we never saw him nude. We lived in the bush however so my mum was ALWAYS running around nude and I was too, til I was around 12, I didnt go through puberty til around 14 though. So I was just a little girl really. I hope to be really open and honest about my kids "bits" and encourage them to not think of their bodies as taboo or something to be ashamed of.

[Duchessa]

My 2y.o. DS saw my pubic hair the other day. He came up and patted it and said "Oh mummy that's lovely!":laughing:

Oh that is gorgeous! Gawd kids are great - so umm... untainted by the weirdy beardy stuff that we pick up as we grow up... all those stupid hang ups, embarrassments and stuff.

[Sarie]

We are very open about nudity in our house. Our 3 year old will only sleep in the nude even in the middle of winter you can rug him up in warm pjs and he will always call out to us in the morning because he's too cold to get out of bed.
It's just playing with other peoples' bits that we discourage.

[SassyMummy]

Thanks for the replies! :thumbsup:

I guess I'll just keep telling her not to touch. It doesn't really bother me when she pokes my boobs because, at one stage, they WERE hers... and I know she's not doing it as a sexual thing.

It DOES make DP uncomfortable when she pokes his penis though, so I'll definately keep telling her not to touch.

I don't have a problem with her seeing us nude or anything... just when she touches her Dad's penis really. He doesn't like it, and I don't think it's something I want her getting accustomed to doing.

[Pixie]

I remember when I was a nanny the kids ages about 2-3 years old were fascinated with my boobs not sure why they were so small lol but I think it's because they are becoming aware about the human body I was unsure about what to do so ask their mother who said...just let them touch them they'll get bored eventually after about a week they stopped touching them and kept telling everyone

"when I am bigger I am going to have bosums" lol

with the other body part perhaps just tell her nooooooo lol:o