Nearly 3 months and already clucky again

[Mummabear]

Hi girls,

I was just looking for some advice, and general feelings out there on what is a good age gap. DH and I had initially said that we wouldn't try for #2 until Oscar is around 18 mo to 2yo depending on what type of toddler he is. But I'm just loving being a Mum so much, and I totally loved being preggers that I have been thinking lately of having them closer together. Do you think it is fair on bub #1 to have a sibling so close to their age, meaning that they have to 'grow up' a lot sooner, and don't get to be the baby, or will the benefits of having a sibling close to their age to play with later on outweigh this.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this......

Thanks

Larissa

[jaz]

Gee.... with such a gorgeous little boy, no wonder your clucky allready !

[Angel_baby_1982]

My mother had 4 kids over 5 yrs and we all loved being so close in age, I'm the oldest, can't say I was forced to 'grow up' too quickly. I love my brothers and sister, and my mum says she never regreted having us all at once, in fact she loved it. I plan on having my first 4 kids before my 28th b'day if possible (my 24th is coming up soon).

[2girls&1boy]

Hi Larissa,

I know I was the same when Grace was about 3mths, then as she got older and she started doing more things - like rolling, crawling etc I realised I wasn't quite ready. I also really believed my body needed a break from what it had been doing for 40weeks.

I am now preg. with #2 and the age gap will be 22mths and I am happy with that. I think it is up to the parents to ensure that #1 doesn't feel they need to grow up too fast and they can grow up with someone close to their age - that way they hopefully grow to be the best of friends.

Good luck

Paula

[Mummabear]

Hi girls,

Jaz - Thanks!! We think he's gorgeous too :D

I don't think DH will let me have another bubba too soon anyway - he doesn't cope well with lack of sleep and doesn't like to change his routine to accommodate babies so I do most of it myself :rolleyes:

There are so many pros and cons for each scenario - I'm an only child so I never got to have any siblings to play with so I really want to make sure that my kids have decent age gap so they can play together but still learn to be independent.

[Jamily]

Hello

I am facing exactly the same dilemma! I would LOVE another baby but like you I am concerned for DD and not being able to give her my full attention. I kinda agree with gracesmum and that as Emily becomes more active, I may find that another bub would be too much. I will see how I feel in Jan and go from there!

:)

[tickle]

I have a 14month old son and am preg with no 2. There will be 21 months between them. I had planned to have 2 years but got preg very quick. I had 20 months between my brother and I and we argued like hell but were also best friends. I wanted to have this age gap as I have a sister that is 3 years younger than me and it felt like too much of a gap.
I think 2 years is good for me and my little guy is pretty easy going so hopefully he won't mind??!!

Ellen

[Mummabear]

Well I spoke to DH about it last night and he is just enjoying Oscar at the moment and I guess I have to agree with him. I still find it hard some days, being a new Mum so I don't think I'm ready to cope with two little ones just yet.

Ellen - I think around 2 - 2.5 years would be a good age gap too - let's hope that my cluckiness can hold out until then :D

[Terrible2+1cutie]

My boys are 15 months apart, they are 2 years old and 10 months old now. I loved having my boys close in age, i enjoy watching the closeness of the boys playing together and Blaze just adores his little brother to bits. We are thinking about having a 3rd kid now and if we do there will be about 19 months or so between bailey and the baby. I wouldn't change having my kids close for anything. It is a personal decision though that must be shared and discussed with both you and your partner.

[bugs]

Hi Larissa,
I have a 5 month old, and have found out I am 7 weeks pregnant, if i went to the exact date, my daughter would be 1year, 1day old. But, I know i will have a caesar at least 4 weeks prior to my due date. We didnt plan this, but it has happened and I discovered I really wanted another baby ( i also have a 9 year old). Sometimes nature decides these things for you. However, I'm not looking forward to telling people, because I know their response will be negative, but I figure thats their problem not mine.

Helen

[2kids]

I remember after I had my first who is now over 4 I was so clucky when he started to smile and laugh. He was such a perfect baby I could easily have had two, or three even, at that time! However, both my DH and I wanted about 3 years apart, as we had heard its the perfect gap for their intelligence and we also knew we wanted to give him our full attention. I went back to work part-time when he was 14 months old, and then I was so tired and busy I couldn't even think about it for ages. NOw I have a 6 month old girl who is adorable although definately not so easy going as #1. I feel I waited maybe too long as they are 4years, 3 months apart, but its alot easier on myself, as he helps me out a lot in amusing bub. Personally I think 2.5-3 years would be ideal for all. But that's just my opinion!!

[dna13]

My DS is almost 7 months old now and i am so ready to try for bub #2. I also started getting really clucky when DS was about 3 months but knew that i should wait a bit longer and see how things go.

I always planned on an 18 month- 2 year gap between my babies so i figure if i start trying now, i will hopefully fall into that gap.

I don't think the age gap really makes a difference but it's more the parenting and child's behaviour that matters. As in, it's really up to the parents to make sure that the first born isn't feeling left out and isn't growing up too quickly.

bugs- I know what you mean about the negative comments. A girlfriend of mine fell pregnant when her DS was 4 months old and everyone had a negative comment on that. I'm sure the same thing will happen to me if i fall pregnant soon.

In the end, it's nobody elses business!!!

[PinkBinkie]

Hi guys
It's great to read that other mums have felt clucky , so soon after the birth of the first child. When I first had Lucy I couldn't imagine having another baby as I was so in love with Lucy and so attached to her. But now that Lucy is 5mths I've started to feel clucky and I loved being pregnant so I do miss that. My mum was pregnant with me when my sister was only 5mths. She tells me it was hard work but very rewarding. Yes, my sister and I fought like cats and dogs but we had heaps of fun together as well, especially as teenagers (my poor parents!). But when there is a gap of 2 years or more your eldest may be out of nappies and may enjoy helping you with the new baby, so there's positives for both sides.
Jodi

[flea]

Hi. I think it's fantastic to have kids close together. It will be very hard but I have found the closer siblings are in age the closer they seem to be. Most of my siblings are a lot older than me and we aren't as close as my other ones. As long as you think you can both handle it and are financially and emotionally ready you'll be fine. So don't stress and enjoy being clucky!!!

[jarrahsmumma]

its great to know other mums are feeling this way too, we have a 10 month old DS and i cant wait to have another and another and another...well 5 to be exact :)

it is only that we are getting married in january that i am not already pregnant...if it was up to steve he would have one right now

this means bubs will be about 22 months apart (if all goes to plan)..like most of you i thought that 2 yrs age gap would be the best..how things change

peace

[Mumoffour]

my oldest two boys are a year and four days apart and it was hard when they were babies (being a defence force wife was just like being single mum with ring on finger :rolleyes: ). i would sit down to feed bubs and the toddler would go into mischief mode! :eek: i think support makes a big difference. my two youngsters are about 2 1/4 years apart and that is great. toddler thinks hes just it when he helps with bubby sister and i am less tired and therefore have more time to do things with him. :)

[treightonsmum]

I have a son who is 11 years, my daughter is 6 years and I am having my third baby boy in January. Im glad of the space between my children. I have been able to give them alot more individual attention and respond to their needs at their age levels with ease. I see some mums and dads with 2 or more children under 5 and the stress on their faces at the shopping centre is very obvious. My son is very close to his sister. My mum had 5 years between each of my siblings and myself. We are all very close also.
I think mums and dads who have their children close together are super heroes! I honestly couldnt cope with the demands of a new baby and the demands of a toddler at the same time.

[Bella-Archie]

I'm a mother of two babies Isabella 11mths and Archer 2mths (there is exactly 11mths and 6days between them)

As you can probably imagine my second pregnancy wasn't planned and came as a really huge suprise !!!! I was about 20wks when I found out !!!!! I went to the doctor feeling tired and run down ......he did some tests and found I was pregnant ......couldn't believe it as I was breastfeeding, on the pill and hadn't had a period !!!!

I think the hardest part of being pregnant for the second time so soon after the first was the negitive reaction I got from most people when we told them our news !!!! Instead of the excitment and congratulations we got with Bella we were met with shock and sympathy .....not really what you want !!!! I felt really awful about all the negitive energy around my baby so we put off telling people until they could see for themselves !!!!

Now Archie is here I wouldn't have it any other way ....... I have managed to stay calm (most days) and we have worked out our own little routine !!!! There are days when I feel guilty that Bella had to grow up so quickly and that Archie doesn't get much attention .....but in the long run I don't think that it will matter as long as they are happy !!!!!

I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect age gap ........ I think whatever the age difference there are going to be advatages and disadvantages !!!

[ETsMum]

HI,

I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt clucky almost straight away! My son is 3mo. Straight after they pulled him out (forceps), I thought I'm not doing this ever again and about a week after I was home I missed being pregnant. I missed holding my belly and feeling the kicks and hic-ups that he often had. My DS is such a good little bub and when he was a few weeks old, I realised I wanted another NOW!! We aren't TTC, but if it happened... NP! (Maybe next year...)
One thing that I keep telling myself that I've heard over and over again... If your first bub is good, expect the second to be a terror - or vice versa! Don't know if it is true but I'm going to enjoy my good boy whilst I can!

[m-k-mum]

I have 2 years 5 mths between my 2 and i think its great, hard at first but im starting to see the rewards of it now. I also was extremely clucky after ds was born and still am but defidently not till ds is at least 2 this time hehe.

[ChristineM]

Hi there,
My first three bubs were all 2 years apart. They went to school, I went back to work. I got divorced. Enjoyed being single again. Met a wonderful man. Decided to have a baby. Left work. Had Emma when I was 40, 13 years after my last bub & I love being the mum of a young baby again.


Christine

[Mary_T]

My DD was born on the 23rd August 05 and I am already clucky. I put on a heap of weight with my pregnancy and was quite ill and exhaused the whole way through. So I am trying to lose some weight and get in shape before we start trying again but i am not sure how long I can wait as I am soo clucky.

[Michele Crocker]

Hi,

I have five kids and they have all have different gaps. There is a gap of 2 years and nine months between my first two then four years between my 2nd and third, I only had this gap because I had a abnormal smear and could not fall pregnant, between my third and fourth was my shortest gap of just over 2 years and my fourth and fifth there is a three year gap. I think a two year gap is a nice gap and it gives your body time to recover from your previous pregnancy.

I am now clucky again just 2 weeks after giving birth to my fifth child a baby girl but I am going to wait until 12 months at least before considering to conceive again so to give my body a chance to recover. My husband's cousin has had three babies in three years, so has three under three.

Michele
Mother of Christopher, Luke, Melissa, Jayden and Ashleigh(2 weeks today)

[Heids]

My little man is 11 weeks old, we were always planing to have a 2 year gap, but I have such a wonderful pregnancy and birth... I was clucky straight away.. I asked the hubby what he though of a year apart and he was fine WOW ! :D

Brandon hasn't been the easiest of bubs with a Inguinal Hernia Opp at 6 weeks, diagnosed with Silent Reflux at 9 weeks and doesn't sleep very well BUT after all this I am still clucky and we hope to try in the next couple of months !

People say I'm crazy! but it's be done before and it will be done again........ Go with your heart and do what's best for you and your immediate family ;)

Hugs
Heids