A question about supply

[lalamcd]

I am currently bf a 5mo old baby and am loving every second. My question is: can you really not breastfeed?
What I mean is, several people have told me I am so lucky that I am able to bf, they couldn't (didn't have enough milk, nipples inverted etc...) I thought that pretty much everyone could bf if they wanted to badly enough and had the right support. I can't imagine missing out on the most awesome part of mothering and feel sorry for these women, but I feel like maybe they didn't try hard enough or bf was not as stongly encouraged when they had their kids (most of them had kids 10+ yrs ago). SO anyone have any thoughts?

[Benandrewsmum]

What may be the most awesome part of mothering for some may not necessarily be classed as that for others!!

I had such a distressing time brestfeeding that I essentially missed out on bonding with my baby in the first 4 weeks. I was in extreme pain every time I fed him....to the point where I would cry half an hour before feed time because I knew what was coming up.

Because of the pain and the distress of feeding (which as we know is such a regular occurence for a newborn) I just could not stand to be near him when I wasn't feeding and subsequently missed out on a lot of valuable time with him.

To make things worse my boob size went up to a G cup (I know, who knew that was possible!!) on a size 10 frame. Therefore, I also had constant back and neck pain.

I persevered with breastfeeding for 5 months, out of sheer guilt, knowing that it was 'best for baby'. However, my memory of breastfeeding certainly falls short of being awesome!!

As for trying hard enough, I know you probably didn't mean to offend, so I will try not to be offended, but let me assure you that I certainly tried my absolute hardest with breastfeeding.....it was my biggest challenge in life to date!! I had an extrememly supportive husband (with me for every feed for the first 7 weeks!!!...what a champ), great friends to support me, a fabulous lactation consultant (without her I would not have gotten past week 3!!) and ABA!!

My post is not aimed at being for or against breastfeeding, but trying to give you an understanding of how difficult it can be for some women....and to say that maybe people just don't try hard enough is perhaps over simplifying what can be a huge challenge and very traumatic experience for some mums.

I hope have have given you another perspective?

Cheers

[JanetF]

Complex issues. Congratulations on making the boob your mission for your baby! :)

It is absolutely true that some women can't physically bf - most studies think about 1-3% of the population. After all, we wouldn't have survived as a species without virtually every single one being able to nourish the newborns, would we? If we had milk banks their babies could still have the benefit of boobie juice!Women choose to ff for many complex reasons but as someone who sees a lot of the conversations about it, I'd say that it is mostly a lack of support and information. If we have that we know that flat nipples (like my own LOL) do not mean we can't bf. We know that feeding more creates supply, not comping which only leads to weaning as the supply diminishes. We know that bf babies gain weight more slowly than ff babies so weight gain is a crap reason to ff. We know a whole lot more when we have support. But most women are given a raw deal in the hospital, particularly with poor info and separation from their baby which can compromise the early bf relationship. Now before anyone gets all irate and thinks I'm laying blame, I'm not, these are just some of the reasons we don't get to establish bf not a parenting criticism. Women should not be blamed for this stuff. Once we get home from the hospy we're often scared and stressed and have no one to ask this stuff and multinationals who promote unscrupulously flooding the telly with their product and undermining our consciousness further. Bottlefeeding has become the norm, sadly, after all, no one's ever been thrown out of their job or a cafe for ffing, have they?! ;) So what you're noticing is absolutely a lack of support and information. Some women do have massive problems with bf but in other countries where bf is normal and acceptable, women still have problems, they're just given more support and know what they're really risking in giving up.

I'm always happy to help out a mama who's bfing. Hopefully the new weight charts for MCHNs will make a bit of an inroad but until we can stop formula companies advertising in the way they do, and every health professional properly educated, it's a tough road. Join your local ABA if you have any issues or if you're pregnant. Simply seeing other women bf has a marvellously normalising and supportive effect. Remember, WHO says a minimum of 2 years after a minimum of 6 months exclusively for optimal health! :D

[JanetF]

And a big cheer and medal for Donna who worked really really hard! What a brilliant and hard won gift for your baby! *hugs*

[Lallas' Mum]

Benandrewsmum - I'd say you not only tried to B/F your little man - you suceeded. I too persevered with B/Feeding my first little man. I went through a lot of pain in the first 3 months but then it got easier for me - thankfully. I ended up b/feeding him until he was 10 & 1/2 mths old which was when I was 8wks pregnant with my next little man. So good on you for persevering so long despite the pain (which I'm sure wasn't just physical).

I will put my 2 cents in though. If you give up within the first week I really don't think you gave it much of a chance. It isn't easy and it can hurt like hell but the rewards are certainly there. If not for you - for your bub.

[Benandrewsmum]

I will put my 2 cents in though. If you give up within the first week I really don't think you gave it much of a chance. It isn't easy and it can hurt like hell but the rewards are certainly there. If not for you - for your bub.

I agree Lallas' Mum.....I think it really took me 6 weeks at least before I felt that I knew what I was doing...and more importantly, before Ben started to get the idea! He was a very little bubba so his tiny mouth had trouble getting the hang of mamma's big full boobies..... I would never have gotten as far as I did without my Lactation Consultant , or as we affectionately like to call her...our boob lady!

[Aprilsmum]

Hi lalamcd,

You Said - "several people have told me I am so lucky that I am able to bf, they couldn't "

I am BF my 5 month old DD and I have also received this comment. For me, the thing that some people don't understand is the struggle I've had to get this far. Now I thoroughly to love BF and do agree that I am "so lucky" - but people are quick to assume that it was easy for me and that it "came natural" - HA! If only they knew. :)

[lalamcd]

I definately did not mean to offend anyone with this post, it's just that in my area, I don't know very many people who bf and have had so many comments about not being able to, I was just wondering if it really was an issue. I definately don't tell anyone who tells me I'm lucky that they should try harder! :eek: What a judgement call! I know that it can be super stressful, I just happened to get lucky and am really stubborn to boot. I do think it is a lack of support and education though. I am a nurse and it's really pushed in nursing school, but when I was in the hospital, I just didn't get that vibe. It was great if you wanted to, but no pressure (which I guess is good, since you really don't need more @ that time), but no one even really stressed it. The LC came to see us, but other than that, nothing. We did ff the first week, because baby had to be under the light for bili and couldn't come out long enough to even bf. It just makes me sad when a friend tells me that she is supplementing breast because her baby is a preemie and needs "special" preemie formula. And how do you tell someone "nuh-uh, your doc is wrong??" That doesn't normally go over well. Anywhoo, thanks guys- just my little soap box.