Smoking DF driving me nuts, inconsiderate *&#@! [Archive]

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Little Gorilla

31-10-2006, 09:51

My DF smokes....he has tried quitting, but has never been successful. I have always supported his attempts to do so.

He doesn't smoke inside. He does however smoke outside and if my son is playing outside at the same time he thinks its ok to keep smoking because he is like 2 or 3 or 4 metres away from him - this is just not on :mad: . I'm at my wits end about it.:banghead:

I hate smoking. I can't stand it. I have asked him nicely, I have yelled at him, I have reasoned with him. I told him that I don't care if he wants to kill himself with ciggies - go ahead. But don't threaten our child's future health by taking away his right to have healthy lungs and filling them with smoke.

So, anyone got any ideas on how to knock some sense into him? I was thinking of going and getting as many books and brochures about smoking around children/passive smoking and putting them on the outside table where he keeps his ashtray.

This is just one fo those things I can't understand. :confused: Everyone knows that ciggies kill, why the hell would you smoke around your child?

The worst thing is when we go to his parents place they all light up, so I am constantly having to move bub away from them - inconsiderate a-holes.

DragonFly Baby

31-10-2006, 11:38

yep same problem here...its like smokers think everyone should breathe in their disgusting smoke

I'm so sick to death of people lighting up around my baby.

When you ask them to move they get cranky! !%*&#:banghead: :mad: :thumbsdown:

Rainbowbrite

31-10-2006, 11:38

I hope you get some tips, i'll be watching thats for sure.

I hate smoking. I grew up with my mum smoking in the house, bedroom, kitchen, car etc. My DH smokes the same as yours, only ever outside. I still hate it though & he has been banished to only smoking riht down the back of the yard. He has the decency to change his shirt after & brush his teeth, but i can still smell it :barf:

My mum is the one that annoys me. I've had her here "heping" me for a week & she also smokes.....but right outside my loungeroom window :mad: I went off & she now does it at the letterbox. But then she walks in the door & picks MJ up :banghead:

OK i've had my vent for the day :o

RoarsomeMum

31-10-2006, 13:22

ohh thats such a hard one bubba...

I am a smoker, do not confuse smoking with inconcideration!! *please* Some of us still care about others! (I swear!!)

Sometimes, it takes really harsh action, like seeing a sample of your childs lung V's one that lives in a non-smoking home...

I hope he takes a food hard look at what he is risking...

Little Gorilla

31-10-2006, 13:44

I really have tried everything - I have put his ciggies in the letter box so that he has to walk a bit further to have them and maybe won't smoke so much.

I sometimes even find ciggie butts in our yard:mad: :banghead: .

I mean in all other respects, he is the best dad in the world, the best partner in the world....but its like speaking to a brick wall.

He gets angry at me for constantly nagging him about it and I just tell him well, you have 2 options 1. change your habits or 2. keep listening to me nagging cause I'm not going to stop!!!

And what really annoys me is when he puts bub to bed and then heads out to have a smoke...only to hear bub cry again....I say to him "um, well obviously I'm going to have to go in cause you just had a ciggie and I don't want bub breathing in all that rubbish" and he gets sh!tty at that as well. So i have to stop what I'm doing and finish off putting bubs to bed when it was his night to do it.

*Chels*

31-10-2006, 13:55

Little Gorilla

31-10-2006, 13:59

Hi Georgia!
Just wanted to let ya know that nagging him to quit isnt going to do a thing!!!!You will never give up smoking unless you WANT to,someone nagging you to stop isnt gonna help.
Has he tried Alan Carr?My friend used it and it worked!Ive seen the dvd at Blockbuster.Maybe try that?
Good luck!:fingerscrossed:

Hey Chels....I don't nag him to stop smoking...more nagging him to stop smoking around bub when he is outside.

I've come to grips with the fact he will probably never give up smoking...that is his decision - I can't make him quit.

Jem

31-10-2006, 14:05

DP and I are smokers. We DO NOT smoke inside under any circumstances :no:

I know its a filthy habit, BUT i just want to say.. consider yourself lucky that your DF smokes outside I think that shows alot of consideration :yes:

cwsmum

31-10-2006, 14:09

I have the exact same problem, with my DH and the in-laws :banghead:
DH is pretty good, he smokes outside, but still near the front doors...I usually close them when he goes out to smoke, then he complains that he can't hear the telly :laughing: My in-laws live in a 2bedroom house and they think it's ok to smoke inside coz the air-con is on and they think that it 'cleans' the air. If they aren't inside then they are right at the back door.
I hate going there when the rest of the family are there coz everyone smokes except me and one BIL...and all the other kids live in houses where both parents smoke inside the house, so none of the smokers (except DH) worry too much if those kids are around. BIL and I usually close the doors and stay in the house away from the smoke, my bubs usually stay with me too.

I just try to make life as difficult as possible for DH, and ask him to move if he's smoking near where the kids are...hopefully one day he'll quit :fingerscrossed:

Little Gorilla

31-10-2006, 14:10

I know its a filthy habit, BUT i just want to say.. consider yourself lucky that your DF smokes outside I think that shows alot of consideration :yes:

See i don't agree with that....my life and his child's life shouldn't revolve around him smoking. His smoking SHOULD be considerate of me and bubs as non-smokers and therefore he shouldn't smoke outside if bubs is playing outside.

If he is outside playing with bubs and they are kicking a ball around together and whatnot...and then he stops for a smoko break - that is very inconsiderate of him to do that - yeah, he is smoking outside, but its still about him smoking around our child.

A few of you have gotten me wrong - I don't care that my partner smokes - its the smoking around my child that is not acceptable to me - whether its inside outside whereever.

I was just hoping for some suggestions about how I could maybe get him to stop smoking around bubs when he is outside..tis all :)

MrsMiggins

31-10-2006, 14:25

That is a toughie!!

Could you maybe take his cigs off him if he's going out to play with the bub? Would he accept that as a rule for now (a little compromise perhaps?) and then work on the other stuff a bit at a time (eg, not smoking at the front/back door etc, not smoking out in public when he has bub?)

Maybe once he's done "dad duty" playing outside, or once bubs is sound asleep for... I dunno, say 10 minutes, he can have his little cigarette reward?

spoon

01-11-2006, 09:58

Little Gorilla

01-11-2006, 10:56

It is obviosly a very difficult habit to break and you giving him more guilt is making it more comlex for him to quit.

He wants to quit. Have you called quit line to find out what you can do to help?

Dont give up on him. It is so hard.:fingerscrossed:

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: I don't want him to quit if he doesn't want to quit.

I just want him to stop smoking around our son when they are outside together!!!!!!

If HE WANTS to stop smoking then I will support whatever he decides....like previously he has used patches, the gum, acupuncture...I supported him each time...but its a hard addiction for him to give up...I understand that.

~Alicia

01-11-2006, 11:40

I understand what you're saying Baba. :yes:

I honestly don't know what to tell u. It just seems like common sense not to smoke around kids or hug them with smokey clothes.

Michele Crocker

02-11-2006, 12:16

Hi,

I know what you are going through, I grew up with my father smoking, in the house out of the house, in the car, everywhere in front of his kids. My brother and I were then diagnosed with Asthma and he still did not give up, we had to learn to live with it.

Since I got married and moved away from my parents 15 years ago, I found that my asthma has improved one hundred per cent, since neither my hubby and I smoke, so we are giving our family a smoke free environment because I knew what it was like to grow up in a smoke filled home.

Michele
Mother of Christopher, Luke, Melissa, Jayden and Ashleigh(1 on Friday)