My Epiphany: I know my body better than anyone else. [Archive]

View Full Version : My Epiphany: I know my body better than anyone else.

SassyMummy

29-10-2006, 23:54

I watched 60 Minutes tonight (well, it was either that, the Arias or some junk on Channel 7...), and they had a report on men who had gone to war, and come back with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It really has nothing to do with VBAC... but my mind wandered.

I know I didn't suffer Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after my c-sec, but in my own mind, it was something similar. I felt like I had been raped, my power had been taken away from me and I was forced into something I didn't want, and didn't need.

Anyway, I kept on thinking about my c-sec, and how awful it was, and how I KNEW I would have been able to VB if given the chance to do so. Then all of a sudden, it came to me: I know my body, and I KNEW it could VB...

It sounds so very obvious, but I'd always thought my body (and the medical system) had failed me... but I've JUST realised that my body didn't fail me at all. Sure, it took a little longer to cook DD than I would have liked... but I truly believe that, if given extra time, DD would have come, naturally, and all would have been fine.

I've realised that I know my body better than any other person does. I'm amazed at how far I've come in 20 years...well, in relation to my body's inner workings anyway.

I remember when I was in the early stages of my pregnancy... and my lower back was really sore. I sought help, but EVERYONE just blamed it on pregnancy... but I knew that it wasn't pregnancy-related, and so I kept on pushing for help. I told them that it was my kidneys... and, although I'm certain my doctor didn't believe me (she didn't try very hard to hide her disbelief, even rolling her eyes at me), she ran a few tests (including a urine sample) to try and prove me wrong.

It turns out, I had pus in my kidneys...because they were infected. It was a UTI that had gotten out of control, and had spread to my kidneys. She told me that, had it not been discovered then, I could have had some serious kidney problems, and may have even had kidney failure.

I'm proud that I KNEW it was my kidneys... and I'm also surprised at how well I know my body to pin-point that it was a kidney problem causing the pain in my lower back. It's amazing how in-tune I've become with my body.

There's been numerous other times when I've KNOWN certain things about my body that nobody else believes...until I've proven that I WAS right all along.

That really gives me faith in having a VBAC. I truly believe that if I NEED a c-sec next time, my body will let me know that I NEED one... but if my body doesn't tell me so, then I believe that my body is quite happy to push my baby out the way a baby is naturally meant to enter the world. Even if I go overdue, I'm not having a c-sec just in case... that's what happened last time, and this time, I've realised that i need to trust my body in order for it to do its job.

Just wanted to share - it was quite a nice moment for me... just suddenly REALISING that I know my body...

the_queen

29-10-2006, 23:57

You are such a wise and strong woman Stacey.
There is a term, "birthraped" which some women use when they have been through birth trauma. I think it's totally applicable to you.
You can have a VBAC. You are so in touch and in tune with your body, and you have the strength to do it.

I admire you Stacey, you are a wonderful woman :yes:

Bubble*Crazy

30-10-2006, 00:09

Ditto to queen's post. There's no way I could word it better! It's the queen we're talking about here).

You go girl for that VBAC when the time comes!

nut

30-10-2006, 08:22

:hugs: Happy for you Stacey. I know you will get your VBAC.:yes:

stellarella

30-10-2006, 08:57

This is wonderful!

Trust in your body is all you need...I feel exactly the same.

I truly believe your body will tell you...and there is nothing to be afraid of. It takes great courage in the face of the unknown to trust your body, however it is your most reliable indication of what is best for you and what you are capable of.

Good luck!:yelclap:

pookiesossige

30-10-2006, 10:05

You're so inspirational, Stacy. :yes: You'll have your VBAC- and I look forward to reading your birth story one day. What a wonderful post :hugs:

cherrygirl

30-10-2006, 13:51

Sassy - I wish i had, had that realisation at 20! Go Girl. Your intuition is a powerful gift and should always be listened to.

When i had dd1 at 21 i was too meek to make someone believe that something was not right. DD almost didn't make it. DD2 was a different experience all together. I demanded the best care and got it. The whole experience ended in a healthy baby and a successful VBAC.

becca74

30-10-2006, 13:54

I love your epiphany!!!:yelclap:

It is so true, and this faith in yourself is what will help you birth your baby....:yes:

Billy

30-10-2006, 13:57

:hugs: So happy for you!! I know you will get your VBAC and I too can't wait to read the birth story when the time comes.:yes: How wonderfully inspirational!! :yelclap:

bubbles28

30-10-2006, 14:11

Shanaynay

31-10-2006, 07:08

Hi Sassymummy,

That was such a great post to read......... I had PTSD after my first brith........and being raped is exactly what I likened it too. I think the truma of birth gone wrong is often equated to sexual abuse.

Anyway, I am so happy to hear how you're now thinking and the confidence you have in your body :thumbsup: I now have that same confidence, but only after I have had my VBAC. I wish I had realised that my body could do it's job before then, as I went into my VBAC still convinced my body was somehow defective, which really ruined the experience for me, even though I did get my VBAC :D
........next time I'll know though!

SassyMummy

01-11-2006, 15:40

Thanks for all of the replies! :thumbsup:

I hope that everyone considering VBAC will take on this sort of confidence within themselves. I mean, I'm not a confident person at all... but I do believe that my body will pull through and give me what I so desperately want and deserve... I KNOW my body can do it.

The hardest part will be to stand up to pushy staff members in my moment of vulnerability... but my body will lead the way...

susiehomemaker

02-11-2006, 21:30

Stacey - what you say always rings true! I had a ceasar for no 1 too, and there was no reason for it (the doctor even admitted it before I was discharged- said that we both would have been fine) Next time, I will be able to read my body better & will know that when I start falling asleep during contractions that the end is nigh! I was such a fool for letting the doctors make the decision for me- I should have made the decisions for myself. It is so easy to be overwhelmed with the first baby I think, and so easy to allow yourself to be told what to do too much. I am sure that with your next baby you will have the vbac that you want! You are strong enough for anything- and that combined with bodily intuition is an unbeatable combination! **bigbearhug!**