Infant/Child led weaning

[Maghan]

Does infant/child led weaning really exist out there? I so wanted for my DS to say to me one day: "No thanks mum, not for me anymore...". I tried a weaning party at 3, but he didn't join in on the sentiment. At 4ish, I did it myself. He is nearly 5 and he still asks for it. I feel so bad saying no, maybe he wasn't ready...

DD is nearly 3 and I keep saying to her: "On your 3rd birthday you're going to give up mummy's milk, aren't you?". She says: "No, I love my mummy's milk". I don't want to have to wean her too. I really want her to say: "Thanks, but no thanks". I work on the theory of don't offer, don't refuse (sometimes I do refuse when I feel like a snack bar).

They are both well adjusted, very confident kids (who coincidentally are always very healthy), but I really don't want to have to go through this heartache again.

I enjoy breastfeeding and that special bond you have with your kids and how no matter how sick they are, mummy's milk will fix it! DS still plays with my tummy when he's going to sleep or when he's feeling nervous, shy, unsure, etc (and that's fine with me, unless I'm wearing a dress).

I'm not chasing tips for weaning, but any stories of how your children did it all by themselves!

[Foxymoron]

I'd love to hear about this too, my DD has appeared to wean when I got pregnant but is now back at the booby and it hurts! (Must be all those preg hormones) .

[Maghan]

Keara

I still remember that pain of breastfeeding when your boobs were so sore from being pregnant. I sometimes would just scream in my head. DS would be as gentle as he could be, but sometimes I just had to say STOP, please, just for a minute, give mummy some time, take a breather and then go back...

[aardvark]

I managed to get DD#1 to drop her pre-bed feed by offering her a choice at about 18 months.

The choice was boob or a bed time story, not both. No contest, the story won hands down, every night, and eventually she would just bring me a book.

I went on to feed her till well after her 3rd birthday. We got to the point where she had to ask, I just didn't offer anymore. The feeds got further and further apart, until they were really just for comfort if she hurt herself, and then eventually she didn't want/need that, either.

The motivation for dropping the night feed was to get her into a good night time routine that did not revolve around the breast, and it worked well.

[WeThree]

Cooper self weaned at 9 mths :eek: he was only still having one feed in the morning, with the occassional 'comfort' feed at other times, but then one day he just started refusing to have it, i kept trying to encourage him for about a wk or more but he wouldnt have a bar of it, yet when i had tilly he started looking at it longingly and a couple of times asked 'me din dins too?' i told him gently that 'no it was bubbas turn now and that he was a big boy' which he seemed to happily accept. i was so sad when he stopped wanting the breast, i think to self wean at 9 mths is a bit too young, but he is healthy and happy, he has never had formula, just went straight to juice or water :)

[JanetF]

Almost all my friends have followed child-led weaning and there are some gentle ways to move your child and yourself to that place. I can see really clearly that at nearly two, my son would be utterly devastated without the boob and obviously I wouldn't wean him anyway ;) You can initiate conversations about it, and you can set some limits that you feel comfortable with - say, no boobs after the sun goes down, or no boobs until after lunch. Sometimes telling a child the boobs are sick/sad/sore/tired can help but of course only when they're old enough to know what that means LOL. I'll have a look around for some hints and tips :) I feel that a child will wean when they have other means at their disposal to find comfort and security. My son is sooooo not there yet LOL. ;)

[JanetF]

Try these :)

http://breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/weaning.html

http://breastfeed.com/resources/articles/childweaning.htm

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_weaning_happens.html

http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpweaning/0,,40lb-9,00.html

http://www.naturalchild.com/guest/norma_jane_bumgarner2.html

http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/wean.html

http://www.militantbreastfeedingcult.com/diaries/earlyweaning.html

[Maghan]

Thanks JanetF, I have those sort of rules too - "when the sun wakes up, then you can have mummy's milk" - extra bonus for me in winter, not summer... etc. I always offer a choice, she naturally takes mummy's milk every time - smart chick (and so did DS)!

Certainly there must be a time though when they say "no thanks, not for me", without any coercing, surely.

I was so focused on child led weaning, but I think if DS had the choice he would still do it now, and I really don't care what people think, but it was too much for me, physically and emotionally.

[JanetF]

There is absolutely a time when kids no longer need the boob. It just varies with each of them. I haven't seen many feed over 4 but a few do :D I hope we all get some support to find a solution that works all round *hugs*

[WeThree]

you know if i had had this forum available to me when cooper self weaned i would have asked you all just the opposite 'how do you encourage a baby/toddler to feed for longer' although i definetly dont have this problem with tilly, it could come in handy to know! :)

[our little treasures]

mY DD WEANED AT 13MNTHS WHEN i WAS 4 mnths preggars!! It was relaxed no stress but when she seen me naked she would drop the mouth (broke my heart) I wasnt ready to stop but it happened I had even got booklets from aba on tandem feeding!!!! Maybe with next one. hehehe