Unsettled 17 day old

[Katiegirl]

Hi,

We've started trying to get our 17 day old into a bit of a routine (as much as that is possible with a little one), particularly after nights of Mum or Dad acting as dummies with our fingers or knuckles and as a mattress for our little one. She really loves sucking and prefers to be cuddled to sleep. When she has nothing to suck (generally spits out a dummy), she tears at her face with her hands and gets very upset.
Yesterday, we started trying the Tizzie Hall routine for a 2-4 week old, but found she just couldn't self settle. All of her "sleep" times during the day were spent with us trying to help her self settle, to no avail. The poor little thing has bags under her eyes and around her eyes are so red.

I'm torn between continuing bad habits that I won't want to keep up (even next week, let alone in months and months time!) and that don't work (rocking and being her dummy - she often wakes up within 15 mins of putting her down if we've settled her this way). The only thing that seems to work is me sleeping with her on the couch, either with her in my arms or on my chest. That isn't something I want to continue doing every night.

Can anyone give me any thoughts or suggestions? Should I be seeing our GP about this (at the moment, it seems she's either eating, crying or sleeping)? Or calling somewhere like the Riverton centre? I'm at my wits end, and all my family members are saying is that she's "fractious" and that I was a vile baby as well ...

Thanks a lot,
Katiegirl
Mum to Matilda, 17 days

[Goosie22]

17 days old is still very young, she needs warmth touch and comfort to settle into her enviroment. Making her fell secure is going to pay off in the long run.

Have you heard of the Fourth (http://www.ninemonths.com.au/content_page_1.asp?page_id=332&main_menu_id=5&l1_id=4&l2_id=10) Trimester? Its a theory about how babies arent ready to be seperated from you yet and need extra comfort to make the adjustment.

Do you have a sling?

Babies are usually into their own pattern around 3 months untill then just take advantage of all the time with her (dont expect too much of yourself leave housework, visiting friends ect), you will miss it when she is bigger.

[EskimoMumma]

That is a great website. Very informative.

At 17days, i wouldn't worry to much about making bad habits, none of what you told me is bad!

[stellarella]

I agree...there are alot of stories you get told about making bad habits...but I dont beleive a word of it.

We did everything under the sun "wrong"...held him 24/7, gave him the breast at every little sound he made, let him sleep with us (he still does), fed him every hour if he wanted etc etc. It was tiring at first and a bit chaotic....BUT

It has now paid off because he sleeps about 4 times a day for between 1-2 hours, and he sleeps from 6.30pm til 6.30am everynight waking for only 2 "dream feeds".

He also cut back his feeds himself to every 3 hours.

Just relax at this point and enjoy spending time with your bub. Bubs need lots of love and touch and comfort to make them happy and healthy.

[Spewiesmum]

If you decide in the next few months to continue with the Tizzie Hall routines (we use and love them), you need to remember that things won't happen overnight. Things take time (sometimes several months), but will work out.

Right now respond to your babies needs.

Also check out the link from Tizzie's site to Snugzeez. Our DS hated dummies but loves his Snugzeez.

[Billy]

I agree with everyone on here... :yes:

Give your little darling all the love and attention that she wants- you will both feel better for it in the long run! :)

They need it still at this very young age to be very close to their mumma almost 24/7... Don't worry about bad habits at this stage- there's no such thing.

:hugs: It is hard in the beggining, but it will settle down fast and you'll be fine!

[li'l mac]

I think it's mostly been said already, but I agree that I wouldn't worry about creating 'bad' habits this early on. Enjoy this age when you CAN cuddle them to go to sleep if they are unsettled, as in a couple of months it will all be about routines and stuff. I found my baby carrier priceless for those days DS wouldn't settle in his cot but would slumber happily whilst strapped to me. He self settles in his cot for every sleep (has done for many months now) so we mustn't have spoilt him too much!

Good luck, I know how hard it feels when you are so tired...

[Goosie22]

That is a great website. Very informative.

I agree but its very medicalised also with some of its explainations (like straight after birth discription, I know it can happen like that but its preferable it not:fingerscrossed: ), so keep that in mind.

[the_queen]

Please also remember that Tizzie Hall doesn't have children of her own, so she doesn't understand that unexplainable pull to hold your baby close to you.

[Goosie22]

Yes, ITA very good point.

[Katiegirl]

Thanks to everyone for your supportive comments. Friends and family have been mainly suggesting that bad habits are being formed that will be impossible/terrible to break, and I really never expected to be OK with cuddling my baby all night. I'll see how things go as DH goes back to work (worrying how to get a shower when it seems you can't put her down, but I'm sure I'll figure it out, or just go stinky!) this week. I don't think I need to be booking in to the Riverton Centre just yet ... :)

Thanks again!

[defa]

Thanks to everyone for your supportive comments. Friends and family have been mainly suggesting that bad habits are being formed that will be impossible/terrible to break, and I really never expected to be OK with cuddling my baby all night. I'll see how things go as DH goes back to work (worrying how to get a shower when it seems you can't put her down, but I'm sure I'll figure it out, or just go stinky!) this week. I don't think I need to be booking in to the Riverton Centre just yet ... :)

Thanks again!

Hi there katie..
Do you swaddle your bub???
My bub wont sleep unless she is swaddled..
I swaddle her up as tight as i can so she can't get her arms out as if she does she wakes her self up flapping them around and then she wont go back to sleep untill i go and swaddle her back up.
I aslo put my bub to bed awake from day one she goes to bed in her cot awake and she puts her self to sleep she doesn't cry or get upset..
Hoe you get some sleep soon
:hugs:

[cosmic]

My baby was just like yours (I think many babies are) and so I put her in a hugabub (www.hugabub.com) and carried her in that all day every day for her first three months. I was terribly worried she would never sleep anywhere else (that is, after I got over the sheer relief that she would sleep and I could actually get things done!! :D) but the transition to her sleeping in her cot was painless. I think if you make them feel very secure and hold them constantly when they are so little, they are more likely to be happy on their own as they get older. That's my experience anyway.

And as for the shower thing... sometimes you just don't get one. With a 2wk old baby, don't set your expectations too high. ;)

[rosebaby]

Re: the shower - we took Jack into the shower with us pretty much from day one and he absolutely loves it. You don't exactly get the most thorough wash of your life, but it's better than nothing. And something about the water makes your baby snuggle so close to your chest and nuzzle against your cheek - the skin-on-skin sensation is just divine. It's my absolute favourite thing to do with Jack and I will be sorry when he's too big to do it. So maybe give that a try - oh, and make sure you have a non-slip mat down on the shower floor.

rosebaby