Baby crying hysterically until falling asleep exhausted - is this cc?

[claud_mike]

Hi

I am new to the board and have some questions.

We have just returned from holiday where our 8 mth old's routines were turned upside down. (had to go out for dinner so he was sleeping in pram, waking, sharing room so feeding to sleep etc) On top of that, he learnt to crawl while away and is also teething.

So anyway, since returning 10 days ago, he was needing to be held or fed to sleep as he would start to cry as soon as he was put in cot. He would be asleep by about 8.30 latest. Then he would sleep till 3.30/4, (which is good right?). but where he has always been able to go straight back to sleep after a feed, the past few nights has refused to go back to his cot and would only fall asleep in my arms or in our bed.

So tonight we decided we had enough of the holding/ feeding him to sleep and cc-ed him. It's only taken him an hour, which is good. But was wondering, is him crying hysterically until falling asleep exhausted - is this cc? So he goes to sleep whimpering to himself. Like he was totally hysterical. All the literature on CC gives this picture of a crying baby that can be calmed down when the parent returns to the room with a few pats and kind words. My baby definitely did not do that.

Having said all that, he used to be a good baby! Never slept through the night that much but when he was born we used to put him in his cot wide awake and happy and he would just drift off by himself. Those were the days!

Thanks for reading.

Claudine

[mysonroger]

poor little bub. they take a while to get back into their old routine or just settle down again. i'd give it a couple of weeks and just go along with whatever bub is doing.... i wouldn't advocate letting him cry hysterically.....i've never known CC to be like this really. if he's wimpering to himself....i take that to mean that after his cried for so long that he is sort of gasping (can't think of the word for it....but do you know what i mean?), either way (wimpering or gasping) i would hold them until they have a nice relaxed breathing again. i find a gentle rub on the back helps settle bub.

I reckon be patient and hold him to sleep, or feed him, for another week or so to see if he settles bck down naturally in his familiar surroundings. i reckon you'd be in luck if he used to settle in his cot before.
mybe you just need to get into the mind set that you're bub is out of whack and needs you to comfort him , even though you're probably absolutely knackered yourself.

if it isn't working again in two weeks , then have a think about things again

[reAllytee]

CC is usually done where you put them to sleep leave them for a few mins then go back in if they are crying give cuddles pat them until they are quiet then leave again for a few more mins again going back in as they are crying etc & repeat.
I wouldnt leave him to cry hysterically but thats me if he needs to fall asleep in your arms then thats not so bad & if you need to you can always slowly change this is time.
I really wouldnt stress too much because you have only just arrived home so would be more worried about getting his routine back into gear then im sure his nite sleeps will start falling into place also.
My DS is 19mths old & i still have to give cuddles every so often even in the middle of the nite for me if that makes him feel more secure then im quite happy to do it.

[Charlie]

Hi


But was wondering, is him crying hysterically until falling asleep exhausted - is this cc? So he goes to sleep whimpering to himself. Like he was totally hysterical. All the literature on CC gives this picture of a crying baby that can be calmed down when the parent returns to the room with a few pats and kind words. My baby definitely did not do that.

Having said all that, he used to be a good baby! Never slept through the night that much but when he was born we used to put him in his cot wide awake and happy and he would just drift off by himself. Those were the days!



I don't think that is CC..Hysterical & whimpering are 2 things I would hope NO BABY should ever have to do to fall asleep :eek:

I think like the other ladies have said..he will need some time to settle into a routine... it's not just going to happen straight away:rolleyes:

[au01]

He still is a good baby just probably a bit confused.
Personally I don't think CC is about hysterical crying, and I think it needs to be done gradually.
I would tend to leave him cry for 5 min before going back in and reassuring him than 10 mins but if he is crying hysterically (just me) I think I would pick him up and comfort him until he calms down and then lay him down again tell him it is time for sleep, kiss and then go out.
Give him another 5 mins before going back in.
My daughter used to go to sleep well but things changed when she was 4 months.She would not settle while I was in the room and I would end up sitting with her for an hour every night :sleeping:
After a couple of months of this I was totally drained and decided to leave her cry for 10min, much to my suprise she went to sleep easier than when I wasn't in the room.
Funnily enough she decided she wanted the dummy at 9 months (never liked it before) and now I give it to her for bed and put her in her cot and she goes straight to sleep no fuss.
Not sure if your son has a dummy or if that would work for him.
I hope things get better for you both soon. :hugs:

[lucas'mum]

Hi Claudine

Ifs its any consolation I did CC with DS at 8 months and it worked! I followed the instructions on CC to the letter and DS went NUTS. Even though I was in the room every 2, 4, 6 etc mins to pat him, he HATED it as he wanted to be picked up. My patting him actually aggravated him. Since he wasn't a cryer usually I would have described his crying a hysterical. It was so bad I would stand outside his door crying too. Initially, he would fall asleep exhausted too. Then I guess he learned he could fall asleep on his own and BINGO started sleeping on his own AND through the night (where as before he needed to be rocked to sleep and would wake up to every hour).

Follow the CC instructions as best you can and give it a couple of days.

Stuff like illness and teething will interrupt great sleep cycles so just try the CC again. As long as they have panadol etc, it won't help them to be teething and tired!! Good luck.:fingerscrossed:

[bekkyboo]

Like Allyoo said - CC is a timed kinda thing - when you comfort and try again...

G has done the hysterical bit in that time thing tho - well not hystraical - but loud crying... about 30sec or so - then dead silence mid scream... scared the bejebus out of us - went running in, and he had fallen asleep mid cry....

I agree with others about getting the routine back on track, it may take a week or so - but things should calm down then.

[Alisonp]

I've done a bit of reading on CC and my impression is that babies are all different in their responses to CC (why is this not suprising?). Some babies don't need to cry for long before falling asleep (these babies give up easy) but others get hysterical and just scream and scream. Some babies can even make themselves vomit.:eek:

My daughter on the other hand always sounded really angry and she would actually get more upset every time we went in. So for her, we extended the time periods between going in and this worked really well for us. We needed to give her time to settle herself because for her she wasn't calmed by anything we tried to do.

I have read that you shouldn't try and pat a baby to sleep when you are CC because it sends mixed messages and that they will get confused. The shush-pat method works best for babies who are less than 6mo because they don't have the mental capacity yet for CC.

I have given this link in another thread but here it is again...

http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/controlled_comforting.html/context/613

[rochelle&zack]

We started with CC about a month and a half ago. At first I too would sit there crying outside DS's bedroom door as he was going hell for leather I felt like the worst mother in the world.... I would just go in every 5, 10, 15 minutes and calm him down.... Now he only cries for not even 30 seconds.... I'm glad we kept on working at it...

Good luck :fingerscrossed: Let us know how you get on

Cheers
Rochelle

[FourAngelKisses]

I honestly think that an hour of hysterical crying is definately not CC.

[SassyMummy]

I've never really ventured into this section of the forum, because I've never followed any sort of particular "plan" to get her to go to sleep. However, I do believe that what we do is best described as "Controlled Crying."

Anyway, IMO, having your baby cry hysterically for 1 hour before falling asleep because he is exhausted, is not CC at all. I believe that if babies cry FOR THAT LONG they are either NOT TIRED or there's something wrong. CC, in my knowledge, is CONTROLLED crying, not just "Letting them cry until they basically pass out"...it's about letting them cry for a set amount of time (probably no more than 20 minutes), before going into them and hushing them, tucking them in, and then letting the bub cry again for another set amount of time. It's a controlled thing... controlled by time and patience.

IMO, it's important to go back and re-assure your bub that you're not gone forever...that you haven't abandoned him (you baby does not yet have hte ability to understand that you're still around, even if he can't see you). It's also important (when attempting to CC) to let him know that crying won't mean he'll get to spend all night with you if he cries... I think the idea behind CCing is to NOT encourage crying in order to get things... but to in fact, discourage it, and to encourage babies to self-soothe.

Now that you're back from your holidays, it's probably best to set up a routine. Watching your babies behaviour for about a week, and WRITE DOWN what he does, and when. How much does he eat? When does he eat? How many times does he eat? What time does he get tired? How many naps does he want to have? After you figure out what your baby wants, you'll be able to implement a schedule that'll hopefully make everything a lot easier.

That doesn't mean bub will have to RELY on his schedule (DD's had a schedule since 3 weeks, and while I GENERALLY stick to it, she sometimes has her nap later in the day if we're out because she doesn't want to sleep...and that works for us), but hopefully it'll help YOU get things done...because you'll know when and how to organise stuff.

You also mentioned that your bub is teething - he could very well be screaming hysterically because he's in pain. DD kept waking up, crying, recently, and i had no idea why. She's older than your son, and has "slept through" since 3 weeks (yep, when we began a routine), and is a REALLY GOOD sleeper (getting her to sleep, during the switch from co-sleeping to cot, was VERY Hard, which is when I began to CC). I later discovered that she had been teething - and was just sore. I felt bad for being a bit peeved with her waking - if I had been more alert, I would have been able to tell that it was teeth, and not her desire to anger me. lol.

Invest in some panadol, some bonjela (or thereabouts) and give him some extra love through his painful time.

[Rhys'Mum]

Look I understand the hysterical crying, my little man did it.

Problem I had was that holding, cuddling, feeding, walking, rocking, singing, patting, taking him to bed with us - didn't make it stop. He was so desperately and chronically overtired he couldn't settle and we would go through this seemingly endless cycle of crying, napping, feeding a little bit of play and then a whole lot more crying.

It also seemed to me that whenever we went in at intervals we just prolonged the agony. There were many times he cried hard for more than an hour and it broke my heart, I feel like weeping just thinking about it now. You may feel like a monster right now, but don't. You are not alone. As parents we do the best we can in the circumstances we find ourselves.

Routine helped us immensely, so maybe it is just a matter of giving your little one some time. If you can find ways to help them to sleep for the short term maybe it is worth trying it. If things don't settle down you could try letting them cry with you going in at intervals to reassure them, it can work and eventually was successful for us. Oh and by the way, major development phases like learning to crawl or walk can cause problem sleep for a couple of weeks and as someone already mentioned teething can wreak havoc too.

The best advice I would give though is if it doesn't settle down seek help. We went to a residential program and although it used exactly the same techniques we'd been using at home, for some reason it finally seemed to work there. It was also great to get the support.

I know I cope less well with my little man having problems sleeping now that he's slept well for some time so I can imagine it must be quite difficult and a bit scary if you are used to a baby that found sleep easy. Good luck with it.