Very clingy baby driving me nuts

[nlp85]

I am a young mum of 2 beautiful boys, my eldest is about to turn 3 and my youngest has just turned 1.
I have always had problems with my 1 yr old being a real clingy mummy's boy who screams whenever i put him down or someone else touches him, he wont even go to his father when i around. He has been like this since he was a couple of weeks old and its just getting worse! He now screams when i go near my other son or even hug my husband.
I work every second Saturday and 2 half week days and my husband says that once im gone that our 1yo is fine as long as no one else goes near him and apparently he isn't so bad when at daycare, but that is no use to me when i am there. None of our friends and family will baby sit him for me because "he cries too much"
I have tried everything between giving in to his wanting me to hold him to ignoring him and have given both strategies a fair chance but it makes no difference, and its starting to drive me insane. I was diagnosed with PND months ago and feel that it is becoming difficult to keep my cool, i have tried seeking help and advise and it always is either let him cry or cuddle him more.
Can anyone offer any advise to deal with this behaviour please

[Smartiecat]

Will be back later ... My dd is like this :(

[bumMum]

Totally understand. My dd 14 months is full on like this. Has basically always been joined to me, and my family members joke that when my mum cut her umbilical cord she must have done it wrong. Luckily for me a good friend I lived with had a baby much the same a few years ago and I saw that its pretty normal. Some babies are just very high needs. Your baby prefers you because they know you so well. Your smell, your voice, your face are all comforting to your little one.
My dd also goes to daycare and stays with daddy sometimes and is pretty okay once I leave. I find the only thing which helps is to reframe this whole thing in your mind if you can. Remind yourself that this stage will pass and try not to see it as a pain in the *** having to carry bub everywhere you go.. I basically just go with it and let her be with me at all Times. Worry less about creating a bad habit and don't spend too much time trying to make them more independent. I find with my little girl, this just freaks her out and makes things worse.. The other part is to try to feel secure and comfortable yourself when you do have to leave. The more anxiety you feel, the more they pick up on that.. why would they feel content and safe that you are walking out the door if you are looking stressed, guilty and anxious yourself?
Other than that there is nothing I can suggest as its just an age and time thing. Not all babies want to be passed around to other family members. You will probably be surprised one day when they just run off playing and forget all about you!

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[missie_mack]

Dr sears talks about babies like this. I will find a link when I am back on my pc, its quite interesting and reassuring

Try this link http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby Dr Sears himself had what he considers a high needs baby

In a galaxy far far away....

[MummaOJ]

DD1 was exactly this! I just had to go with it, have her with me every waking hour, being my first I just thought all babies were like that, it was so depressing. She grew out of it around 2yrs old and is a very independent confident girl now, who I beg for a cuddle from.
Thankfully DD2 isnt as bad, but still is happiest with Mummy.
Sorry, no tips, just wanted you to know you arent alone.

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[karenho]

Hi nlp,

That must be exhausted. It is great that you seek for advice, nobody has to deal with it by herself :hugs:

Are you or have you think about using a baby carrier? research found that it can help to build the confidence and independence of the child. I can definitely see the difference btw my older DD that I carried occasionally and my DS that I'm still carrying. There are many carrier that are suitable for up to 20kg. You can wear him on your back and that way he will feel close to you and secure.

[FrogsnSnails]

You aren't alone. I can't offer advice but my DS2 is the same. He is 12 months old and super clingy. It is frustrating as my 3.5 year old sometimes gets left out because of it. Hopefully it is just a phase for your little one.