Why Christen?

[Seekrit]

This is a topic that came up when I was speaking to my friend - What is the benefit of having a baby Christened. And if I was to choose to not Christen my baby, what does that mean for them in the future? What choices will they have.

I'm not Christened and was bought up in a home where religion wasn't discussed, however we were told "you know where the local church is"
DH was bought up in a home where everyone went to church every Sunday. Since meeting me he hasn't seen the inside of a church, however I know he'll want to get our kids Christened - moreso to appease his mother than for any significant religious value.

I'm just weighing up the pros and cons. :)

[cosmic]

Hi Seekrit,

I have wondered the same thing myself. My DH and I were both christened and went to church schools though neither of us consider ourselves religious in any way at all! I know that as I went through school and we had our first communion and our confirmation, it was part of the deal that you had to be christened first.. so some kids who hadn't been, but wanted to go on and receive the other sacraments had to be christened. There were other kids who were not of the same religion but just attended our school, and from memory I think they just sat out of those ceremonies??

DH and I have discussed alternatives such as a naming ceremony but we don't really know anything about those things! :confused: I would love to hear others' views on this because I really don't know what the options are or the repercussions later on... but it would be nice to have some kind of celebration to welcome the baby - not necessarily religious.

C.

[Seekrit]

I can see myself throwing a "HOORAY IT'S A BABY" party rather than a christening.

[Refresh]

HI

As Christians, we havent gotten our children christened. We believe that baptism is something that is done when you are old enough to understand why you are doing it and what it means - promising to keep the laws of God and to follow his will in everything you do. Baptism is the washing away of sins and turning from your non Christian ways. I dont believe that babies have any sins to turn away from lol! This is why we got baptised and hopefully why our kids will too when they are old enough to understand. I dont think that baptism is something tht should be taken lightly - great that you are thinking about it:)

Our church does dedication ceremonies instead(like a special promise to the child to teach him/her the Word and the love of God.) So if you arent religious, I think a Naming ceremony would be perfect as you can put in exactly what you like and what is meaningful to you and then your kids can decide what they want to do when they are older.:)

[nemosmum]

I was raised strict catholic while DH was baptised Presbrytarien (I dont even know how to spell it LOL sorry) and even though he went to sunday school his home was basically not very religious in the formal sense. He was mostly exposed to indigenious spiritual dreaming beliefs instead. I have some problems with some of the catholic teachings but over all I believe in god and heaven etc so we had DS christened catholic, Dh and I both feel it was the right thing for us to do. Our son will be given the opportunity to learn about christianity (no particular faith) and also indigenious spirituality as this is apart of his heritage. Ultimately we would like to pass on the basic beliefs that all people are created equal, peace on earth and all that stuff......but its nothing were overly concerned about. As a child religion was forced onto me and as such I think I learnt to resent it, I wont be making that mistake with DS......Were good people with kind hearts and I think thats more important than anything else.

[WeThree]

Hi :) I mentioned in another similiar thread that you have to make some very heavy promises when you are getting your child christened, so its best not to do it unless you really mean what you say, I agree with Katie, I want my children to stand up and profess their faith in God when they are old enough to do it themselves, besides Im not very keen about baptising them into a particular 'religion' (ie Anglican, Baptist etc) which is what a baptism does, cause it wont matter to me which church they go to, as long as the one they are going to makes them happy and teaches the true word of God :)
ps Naming ceremonies are great, its a chance to welcome your new bubs into the family in your own, unique way :)

[WeThree]

Sarah, i liked what you wrote, whenever i read your posts, little things you mention make me think that you must be part of a heaps nice family, i know youve said your side wasnt very nice, but i always get the sense that your hubbys side is just lovely :)

[nemosmum]

Thanks Erin, my side of the family are well meaning if a little crazy LOL Dh side are very well adjusted which balances my crazy side out I guess :D

[Angel_baby_1982]

DH and I aren't christian but we are christened, we know people who weren't christened who have had problems, like one of DH's friends who was told by his fiancee's church they couldn't marry there because he wasn't christened, and one of my uncles, his wife wasn't christened and when she died of breast cancer the church refused to do the service because she hadn't been christened. :mad:

We're going to christen our kids because as far as we are concerned what's the problem with getting it over and done with while they are babies?

It's not like it will cause problems for them if they end up being non-believers, and it's a great excuse for a family get-together ;)

[draught]

Some different thoughts on christenings for you to consider.
I was raised Catholic and although I describe myself as "mostly-lapsed" I still write that down on forms where it is necessary, and certainly describe myself as a Christian. My parents are very active in their church and the extended church community and certainly set a very good example for me of what it is to lead a Christian life (their actions speak volumes, as do their quiet words). DH is Anglican from a non-church going family.

Our children were christened in the Catholic church but it is important to note that their baptism is "recognised" for the purposes of other christian religions - they are not just "catholics" but are baptised as "christians".

Something to think about is which school you might be thinking of sending them to as some (not all, just some) christian schools require the children to be christened before they accept them.

And to show that all the good intentions in the world can still leave your children with no idea......my cousin who is about 34 rang his mother last year to invite her to attend his baptism as he has declared himself to be a christian and wanted her to be part of his becoming a christian. She was a bit surprised and asked him why he was being christened again - she thought that once you were christened, that was that and that any future ceremony would be about a reaffirmation of your faith.

He said "what do you mean I was christened already". She explained that as a baby he was christened and that was why he was raised as a Catholic and sent to a Catholic school, why he went to mass each Sunday while he lived at home, and why he was an altar boy etc. His response? "Oh are Catholics christian too?" Needless to say my aunt wonders where his mind was through all of those church services, religious education lessons etc!!!

[Seekrit]

Some very good thoughts. :) Thank you.

It seems the way to go is to Christen the kids and let them choose their own path, knowing they'll still be accepted into churches for significant events in their life (or death). I wonder where I stand there, I'm not Christened (or at least I don't think so)

[Terrible2+1cutie]

My partner and i are from very different backgrounds, i grew up in the church where as Cameron only goes to church for weddings and refuses point blank to go to church any other time. I don't force him to go to church as this is his decision, he doesn't mind me going to church though and taking the kids. I would of loved to have my kids Christened but because i respected my partners wishes of not going to church i didn't. Instead we had a Baby Blessing in our backyard. We did this for Blaze and are yet to do this with Bailey who is now 10 months old. The minister of the church came to our house where we had a few family and friends gathered, he new Cameron wasn't too much into all of this so it wasn't too religious, he made it suitable for everybody. He being from the church put some religious stuff into it but it was lovely and Cameron thoroughly appreciated it.

Catherine

[SMBT]

Hi,
I had both my children Baptised (Catholic name for Christening). I was brought up Catholic, had all the sacraments and my hubbie was Methodist (never even set foot in a church apart from special occasions).

The main reason that we chose to get our children Baptised is mainly due to the fact that when we married in the Catholic church we had to intend to bring up our children as Christians, but I haven't set foot in a church for about 4 years now, except on the two Baptism occasions. I also wanted them to be Catholics, because I wanted them to attend Catholic schools and it is easier to get them in, being a Catholic School teacher myself.

I guess it boils down to wanting my children to be brought up with the same beliefs and values that we have been brought up with, because whether consciously or not, we probably will inflict those views on them from an early age anyway. When they are older, they can choose to do whatever they wish.

[ThomasMum]

Hiya Joshua and I are both Anglican, and are both christened.

This is my simple understanding of Christening, that the purpose of a christening (or the more modern term, baptism) is providing a symbol that you want to bring your child up in the eyes of God, and will try to provide them with Christian beliefs to the best of your abilities. The water represents a fresh start after having been born into human sin. Usually, the parents must be members of the church where the baptism takes place, but in many churches it's not mandatory. Check with your houses of worship in your area if you are not an active member for their standards and baptism regulations.


You know though, just don’t be trapped in the commercial side of this culture. I hate when parents make the ceremony a huge issues, spent too much gifts and money for it, it just make the affair lost its wonderful meaning, but hey that’s just me.

:p

[Briannabear]

You know though, just don’t be trapped in the commercial side of this culture. I hate when parents make the ceremony a huge issues, spent too much gifts and money for it, it just make the affair lost its wonderful meaning, but hey that’s just me.

:p
I agree completely. When we got Brianna baptised we just had a barbeque with friends and family afterwards. Moreso just to catch up with people and give people a chance to meet Brianna.
I think that the baptising/christening etc is personal between the parents, child and God.

[razzle]

...the purpose of a christening (or the more modern term, baptism)...
Actually I think the more modern term is "christening"! Baptism dates back to like 100AD.

Christening = giving a name to someone/something (like christening a boat with breaking a bottle or a naming ceremony for a child), baptism = a religious ceremony. For Catholics (I don't know about other religions), a Christening ceremony used to be done at the Baptism, when you gave your child his/her Christian name.

We are both Catholic and grew up going to church every week. Eloise was baptised in a full ceremony with family and close friends when she was 3 months old.

But I totally agree with Briannabear - whatever you do, it's a personal choice between the parents, child and God.

[ThomasMum]

Hey Rach, you're correct. Christen is more modern (oops! thomas giggles when I say oops). I did a search in Etymology Online (http://www.etymonline.com) and baptism predates christen by just over 150 years.

baptise: 1297, from O.Fr. baptizier (11c.), from L. baptizare, from Gk. baptizein "to immerse," in ecclesiastical language, "baptize," from baptein "to dip, steep, dye, color." Christian baptism originally consisted in full immersion. Baptist as member of a Protestant sect that believes in adult baptism by immersion first recorded 1654; their opponents called them anabaptists. Phrase baptism of fire (1822) translates Fr. baptême de feu and is a reference to a soldier's first experience under fire in battle; but the phrase originally was ecclesiastical Gk. baptisma pyros and meant "the grace of the Holy Spirit as imparted through baptism." Later it was used of martyrdom, especially by fire.

christen: O.E. cristnian "make Christian," from W.Gmc., from L. christianus (see Christian). General meaning of "to name" is attested from c.1450.

I would have thought Christen would be older than that when I think about it, given it relates to Christ and that's 2005 years ago. So it took a while to come into use... mind you, there was John the Baptist in the Bible and Baptism is a term used in other religions, so maybe it's even older. I learn something new every day eh? :p

[maybe1more]

Hi all, my dp was christened, and he grew up going to church every sunday untill he was old enough to make his own choise, i havent been christened but i would have liked to be, we had our son christened and i was going to get christened at the same time but i chickened out because i thought i was too old to be christened, however i will let my son make his own desicions i can only direct him in the right direction but i dont want to force anything on him.

[Refresh]

Hey Jenny,

You're never too old to be baptised! My husband and I were baptised together a few months ago (along with 4 other adults) it was fantastic and a very important part of being a Christian:)

[Ky]

I was christened when I was 8 in a methodist church ... I have no idea why ... I guess it was just the thing to do. My sister who was 2 was christened at the same time.

We have had Bella dedicated ... basically, we stand in front of the Chruch, tell them that we acknowledge that our child has been placed in our care by God and that we will do our utmost to protect her and bring her up to be a happy and well loved child. There is nothing about having to make big promises that we as human beings are likely to not be able to keep ... just a promise to do our best!

We are having Daniel dedicated some time before the end of this year. It is pretty cool at our new church ... the father prays for thier child and asks that he and his wife are given the courage and strength to deal with the challenges of parenting and the wisdom to make good decisions concerning thier childs future. The pastor then prays for the child, parents and siblings ... that they will be a close knit and happy family with a future that is positive and full of joy.

It is a very positive ceremony ... not one that is full of tradition and do's and don'ts, but a welcoming into the family for the child and an acknowledgement by the parents that they won't always know the right way to deal with situations but with God's help they will do thier best!

No decision is made for the child as to what religion they are, how they must act over the years or a proclamation of faith on thier behalf. We believe that our children will make the decision for themselves in this area when they are old enough to ... in the mean time we do our best to provide a happy childhood filled with many and varied experiences!

btw ... Bella is enrolled in a Christian School next year and we were never asked if she had been christened, baptised or dedicated.

[mollyandkurtsmum]

I would of thought a good reason to christen would be if you beleive in god and his teachings and follow what is written in the bible as gospel . If you do not practise any sort of christianity and do not beleive then I would of thought that holding a religious based christianing would of been a little hipocritical. There are naming ceremonies or just a celebration of new life party that could be used instead

[Georgie'smama]

Hi guys, in the orthodox church it is all taken very seriously. You have to be christened in order to be married in the orthodox church- also in order to do alot of things in cyprus you have to have the official bits of paper- if you are not christened (as is the case if your parents are not married) it is harder to get into school or in fact to do alot of things here. It is a way of cutting through all the red tape, BUT also i am othodox christian, and this is my faith, of course i want my children confirmed into my faith and that has to be the main reason i think- although your child may then decide to change religion, or just lapse- i beleive it is everyones right to make that choice for themself, but i think that as a baby it is my duty to introduce the kids to my religion and they can then make an informed decision. :)
Sorry to be longwinded!

[Mamaduke]

Hi,
Both of my boys were baptised in the Catholic church wearing the same gown I wore for my baptism (that my great aunt made)
Their baptism was such a special and proud day for me and my DH - my two beautiful boys were being welcomed into God's family in front of all our family and friends! It was so beautiful.
Before the baptism we had a meeting with Father and he asked all of the couples what the church means to them - I replied, "it's an extension of my family, I don't need to be at every Sunday dinner to know that they love me and I love them!"
Father had a good giggle about that!
Back in the olden days (when I was little), my mum was not allowed to take me anywhere until I was baptised. My grandmother (European), wouldn't allow it in case something happened to me because I wasn't baptised!
Another story (last one!) my friend refused to get her children baptised, mainly out of spite towards her MIL, but one day her daughter came home from school and asked her why she wasn't part of God's family!
Fast forward 6 months I am now the very proud Godmother of a very headstrong little girl!
Thanks for letting me share!
Carly