Can't get 1 week old down for a sleep

[OneWithUnagi]

Hi there,

I'm hoping someone can help me please!

My son is 1 week old today, and I can't put him down for a sleep!

I change him, feed him, burp him, feed him again (if he still wants), then he'll usually fall asleep on the boob.

As soon as I put him down in his bassinet, he wakes up and cries and cries until he goes back on my boob again... At first I thought it was just for comfort but he actually does feed again...

I'm exhausted! I've been told to sleep when baby sleeps but it's hard when I can't put him down at all.

He has about 6-8 poos and a few wees a day, so I know he's getting enough.

Any tips on how to get him down to sleep would be much appreciated!

[Ffrenchknickers]

I used to just lie down with my bubs and feed them there and we would both fall asleep. I also used a sling alot to get stuff done during the day.

[OneWithUnagi]

Hi! Yeah that's what I had been doing but my nipples are destroyed from poor attachment so the midwife has suggested I sit up and pay proper attention at feedings until I get the attachment right...

Right now he's been on my boob for over 2 hours, including bringing up wind and nappy changes, and he still wants more!

[fionaalice]

Are you wrapping him up to sleep?
I know not everyone will agree with my next suggestion ... But ... Have you tried a dummy?
Has your milk come in fully?

my baby was like this for the first week or so also ... He was getting milk, but obviously not enough to satisfy him, so he was also hungry, I started expressing at nurses advice and giving top ups after feeds with a lactation tube.
A dummy also helped as he loves to comfort suck ... We were not going to use a dummy but ... It does help all of us get some rest ... We'll get rid of it when we can!

Also without being tightly wrapped our boy just wriggles and fidgets then gets overtired.

Hope you find a solution ... We found things settled a bit after the 2nd week. :)

[becandabub]

Have you tried giving him a dummy? My dd is the same - she loves to suck & the booby is her dummy. Those early days are so tough though & if I hadn't been so stubborn & offered her a dummy sooner then maybe she'd take one now!! DD would feed allllllll the time if I let her.

The other thing is maybe tey holding him for about 45min after he's dozed off. He'll reach a deeper sleep & hopefully stay asleep! Also a hot water bottle on his bed will make it nice & warm so theres no cold sheets to shock him. Also tuck him in nice & tight so he still feels held. Are you wrapping/swaddling him? He might be startled by the movement of being put down?

[singa06]

Ok something I did during the day (not night) was to sleep ds on his side. Now it's not recommended by SIDS so only do it if comfortable. That's why I never did at night.
I used the sleep positioner to prevent a tummy roll and changed sides to prevent flat head. My sil's pead suggested this method to my sil when her ds's head was slightly outa shape. (he also told her to use that method if she wants.)
At night and some days I rolled him onto his back for safer sleeping.

(oh I also wrapped and used a dummy)

[Ffrenchknickers]

All mine definitely slept better on their sides or tummies.

[Mummato4]

Sounds pretty normal to me.....demand feeding is hard at first, but once your supply is up he will sleep again :)

[OneWithUnagi]

Hey guys, thanks for all the suggestions!

Tried the dummy, worked a couple times but now he won't take it, just cries when I put it in his mouth.

He's always wrapped, he seems to settle better, and he kind of already sleeps on his side... When I put him down he kind of rolls to his side on his own.

I tried the sling the other day but I couldn't get him in and breastfeed comfortably. I will try again though!

Tried putting my shirt in the bassinet with a warm pack, worked for maybe 30 minutes, then he just cried until I put him on the boob again.

The only way he seems to stay asleep is if he's being held, or if we're laying down breastfeeding (which I still haven't gotten the hang of so my nipples are pretty sore by the morning).

He'll only sleep an hour at a time during the day, 2 hours if I'm lucky. At night he sleeps 2 hours, 3 if it's a good night, 1 if it's not so good. Which wouldn't be so bad, but he feeds for like an hour before he's in a proper sleep.

I'm getting pretty exhausted. I literally am seated all day breastfeeding and/or holding him. I'm lucky if I can get away for a shower, let alone sitting to eat a proper meal.

My DP has been incredible and does everything around the house, and gets me everything I need, but it would be nice to be able to get up and do things, maybe even go for a walk! (Tried that the other day, fed him, changed him, put him in pram sleeping, then he woke up 5 minutes into the walk and I had to hurry back home).

Is this normal behaviour for a newborn?

People have been telling me that it's strange and "my baby slept til 5am", and I need to let him "cry it out", but I don't feel like he's old enough to learn anything from that? Besides the fact it doesn't feel nice!

Any more suggestions? Pleeeease...

[biscotti]

People have been telling me that it's strange and "my baby slept til 5am", and I need to let him "cry it out", but I don't feel like he's old enough to learn anything from that? Besides the fact it doesn't feel nice!

Any more suggestions? Pleeeease...

:hugs:
I think you are doing a great job :thumbsup:

I think the key thing to remember is that he has been carried by you for the last nine months, well technically the first nine months of his life, it's what he knows iykwim so it's a period of adjustment and perfectly normal for him to still want that lovely mummy warmth cocooning him.

And please don't pay attention to anybody who says their newborn slept all night until 5am. Yes, some babies do, but it is really not the norm for a newborn.

I promise this will pass, they're tiny like this for such a short time and in the meantime remember you are doing a fab job :thumbsup:

[Smartiecat]

Hi! Yeah that's what I had been doing but my nipples are destroyed from poor attachment so the midwife has suggested I sit up and pay proper attention at feedings until I get the attachment right...

Right now he's been on my boob for over 2 hours, including bringing up wind and nappy changes, and he still wants more!

Does he have more wind?? 2 hours seems like a long time to be feeding ... He might actually be tired not hungry. Try putting him in bassinette awake ... Pat his bottom if he is unsettled. Can you raise one end of the bassinette do he is on an angle? Are you wrapping him? (babies love to be snug).
Is he dozing while he is feeding?

[cookiedough]

I had the same with my 5 wk old dd when she was that age. I kept feeding and feeding her but then realised she was actually screaming from tiredness and not hungry. If I put her on the boob she would still feed but I think at that age she was just overwhelmed and didn't know what she wanted so I just wrapped her and held her really tight while she screamed (while patting and shhinh) and eventually she would sleep then I'd put her down. If she woke up within an hour I would repeat, if more than an hour I would see if she would feed.

Oh I also read a newborn can only manage 45 min to 1 hpur awake time so if your baby has been up for longer then its more then likely they are overtired.

HTH

[hyzenthley]

This reminds me so much of the early days with my baby! I felt like I would be spending the rest of my life in a chair breastfeeding and never leave the house again. It will get better! They are little feeding machines at that age but they change so quickly and will start to settle into a better pattern.

At the start I had really sore nipples and needed to sit up to make sure he was on there properly, so I put a U-pillow behind my neck so I could rest a bit sitting up. Sort of like how people sleep on a plane! You could always try that? I would also feed him resting on a pillow then sloooooowly move it off me when he was asleep- either onto my partner's lap or onto the bed/couch next to me.

Your partner sounds really helpful too which will make things easier. Just sit and feed and let the baby sleep on you while he takes care of you both :) And if you need to shower or whatever and the baby cries, then it's okay. My partner used to soothe our son with his finger (since he's never taken a dummy) so I could shower quickly.

Good luck and I hope you get some rest soon :hugs:

[duckduckgoose]

This sounds exactly like my DS. Those first few months were very very hard. They say hindsight is a wonderful thing but a few things I wish I had tried (or tried harder with) were using a dummy, and if i know he had a good feed and was actually tired is to get him to sleep another way other than feeding - like rocking.

We got a swing at 6 weeks and he slept in that for all his day sleeps till 5 months. Can't recommend that enough.

One book which I'm reading now in preparation for #2 is the Happiest Baby on the Block Guide for Great Sleep - it goes through the five S's - swaddling, shushing, side lying, swinging and sucking - you are doing some of these things but reading the book might give you a few more pointers.

Big big big hugs to you - I know how exhausting it is. Trust me, it does get better. Are you eating? Can you get your DH to pack you a lunchbox the night before so you can eat? I ate nothing but milo and pizza for months and it was terrible.

Another thing - the world is very stimulating for a newborn. If you can reduce some of their sensory input by turning off the tv, turning down the lights, etc and just have white noise going that might help.

[DueInAugust]

I found ds misses my heart beat when put down.
Maybe you could try a clock that ticks loud enough to be heard from a bed side table next to bassinet.

Sent from my LG-P500 using BubHub

[Albert01]

OMG, I could have written your post myself!!! My newborn has been home for 2 weeks (born @ 33 weeks but he's very healthy) and my life looks a lot like yours right now. I'm getting the impression that this is quite normal behaviour for a newborn, which is re-assuring but....I'd like to make sure that I do not go insane in the meantime.

Using a wheat bag to warm the basinette seems to help sometimes, as does using a store bought swaddle/wrap so that I do not wake him after he comes off the boob and is transferred to his own bed...with this wrap I can just fed him in the wrap. Also, my partner feeds my son a bottle once or twiceca day (expressed breast milk) and the baby will fall asleep on his chest for a few hours. The break I get is sooo important....having said that, it still feels like a challenge and the only way I know to cope is to havevfaith that this will change.

[knomie]

Wrap and dummy

mummy to gods gift to us :)

[RandR]

I think that's pretty normal for a one week old! In that first week my daughter would feed for hours then only sleep for half an hour or so, then be up again for another hour long feed! They're so weak when they're first born so she would get tired sucking, so a feed would last hours because every minute she'd need a little rest. She's nearly 4 months now and her feeds only last for 15 mins as she's much stronger and able to get the milk out more efficiently. As exhausting as it is I think it's important to let him feed as much as he needs now as he's probably just trying make sure your milk supply is adequate for him. Better they get you producing much than not enough I think!

I demand feed so if my daughter wanted to feed for 2 hours I'd let her, but I helped her to sleep longer between feeds by swaddling her really tightly with her arms down, and I have an app on my iPhone called sleep droid, which allows you to create your own white noise. It sounds silly but I swear by it! So I have it playing air conditioning sounds and the sound of a clock ticking, to mimic the sound of the womb and my heartbeat. I play this as soon as I start swaddling her ready for sleep, and play it until she wakes up. I'd definitely recommend youtubing Dr Harvey Karp and The Happiest Baby on the Block and the 5 S's, which helped me develop her sleeping 'routine' for want of a better word. Also I always swaddle her before I start feeding because when I put her down she still feels secure so is less inclined to wake up. I also feed her until I know she's in a deep sleep so she's less aware of being put into her bassinet. If she stirred as I was moving her, or within an hour or so I'd put her dummy in and hold it until she started sucking (obviously I didn't force her to take it, but I think sometimes it takes a seconds few seconds for them to realise its in their mouths and start sucking). If she just needed to comfort suck this would settle her, but if she was hungry she'd be awake in 10 minutes so I know she needed to be fed again.

She gradually started feeding for shorter periods of time and sleeping for longer at night on her own accord, and is now in the most perfect sleep/feed pattern, and I always get at least 7 solid hours sleep a night!

Wow that turned into an essay! Hopefully a useful one haha! :)