A Couple of Issues

[FOURtunate]

Hi Everybody

Just wanted to THANK YOU ALL for the support that I recieved here at Bubhub during my donation. As you know, it was at the best of times quite difficult. But so very rewarding to say the least.

This week, it has really hit me like a tonne of bricks that C is pregnant, and my DNA is growing somewhere on the other side of Sydney. The bizarre thing is that I feel no connection to the egg whatsoever (probably a good thing considering my emotions lately). I have tried to visualise my egg, in her body, but do not feel anything at all except for immense joy that my friends are pregnant. I was beginning to think that I may feel a connection, but it's just not there. This IS a good thing.

So now I have successfully played a part in creating a family for C and A, I am feeling ready to think about donating again.

The only issue is, I am not sure that I could go through the pain again.

I was in AGONY for a couple of weeks after, and this time I would want definite support in place for my family and my children.

And certainly support from my IP's during that first week or so afterwards. Even just over the phone for a chat.

I would also want to wait until at least until Feb/March, and certainly not in the school holidays this time. I know Sarah and I both had issues with timing!

With all of these issues, do you think it would be fair of me to contact a couple yet? I don't want to give false hope, even though I'm pretty sure I would go through it again. I would just like to get to know the couple a bit better this time around, and get more of the specifics set out earlier regarding contact etc.

With each ED I guess you get a bit wiser and also a bit more vigilant about the process.

Any advice? :)

[leisurly]

Michelle

As ever your words are fantastically written and I actually think you have answered many yourself :hugs:

As you know it is about clicking with a recipient, if the person who will bring you the joy and support you so deserve is presently looking for a donor and you feel an empathy to their story then you should go ahead and make contact, if not then keep your options open till someone comes along and hits that little cord in your heart. You will know when you think you have found that person. It might not be so, stories are a snippet and written to get a reaction, so you might have to find someone else.

Don't let a donor pass because your not ready to cycle, as you said it takes time to bond, be honest from the start stating clearly, there will be extra costs to cover your needs post pick up and you really do need the support, that you need to recover both physically and emotionally to your first egg donation and therefore will not be donating till when ever.

With the counselling and cycling and paperwork that will take some time and as we all know IVF has a long xmas holiday.

Michelle be good to yourself, I'm trying to learn this as I was told once you have to care for your own health before you cvan really help others, it is energy preservation - thats what a healer told me anyway.

Sarah and I are still concerned about you, you've been a tad quiet about you and how you are feeling, and how are things with C.

:kiss: Lxx

[wa mum of 4]

Hi L and M,
I also would like to thank the support from the gal's here.
You all have been so supportive and have an abundance of helpful information. I think this support has help me enencially.

I have vey similar feelings regarding donating again although I am moving full steam ahead.
I contacted a couple the day after donation and informed them that I need to wait 6 months so I will recover physically and emotionally.
The reason for this majorly is I need time to process it all myself, especially with the :bfn: I found that very difficult, it is strange to say but I felt like I had failed in some way even though I know that I had done everything right and there were no guarantees.
I have had a long talk with my family and made sure the impact hasn't affected them at all as my family comes first.
The IP's were great aboutthe wait and agreed that it would be better as we have time to get to know eachother without the pressure of appointments Dr's ect.
I think it is a personal preferance if you feel you need time you can still contact a couple just be honest, there isn't too many of us out there so I think the would appreciated any contact and help to recieve a wonderful gift.

As for me I am feeling fine now, I think I have recovered well as the week of donating was very difficult for me with my brother and all. I feel good within my self.
I didn't want to share too much as I felt it easier to deal with the emotions my self ( I do that ).
I have returned to normal way of life, no Dr's is great and no traveling to perth (40 min drive).
So all is good with me, I hope you can feel back to normal soon M.
Just remember if you have any doubts dont do it, nothing worse that regrets.
All my love
Sarah

[anna19]

Hi L,M and S,

Just reading your threads, and as the girls have said you have nearly answered all your questions,and I agree with L's statment that you will find the right recipient and i also agree that you need time to get to know that person/couple and their situation, as when they place there add they my only tell part of the story as some people can only express so much on paper. and would rather tell the complete story one on one...

with regards to the support it would be wonderfull to speak to the ip about both yours and her feelings and issues together as you are both in this together.

I hope you find this person/couple soon as people like you are very rare indead.

most inportant take care of you

Anna19
looking for ED now

[hoping123]

Hi fortunate,
I think what you are doing is so special and you have every right to give yourself as much time as you need to decide which path to take. I know when I finally find my donor I want her to feel as comfortable as possible about the whole journey. I wish there were more angels like you in this world.:hugs: