Scared of IVF

[Puk]

Yesterday my gyno told me that it's time we started thinking about IVF as an option! :eek:

I don't know why this scares me so much but it does! It's not only the cost involved but the whole thing! The fact that i might need it in the first place makes me feel like a failure as a woman and the idea that they implant a fertilised egg so if you lose it, it's a miscarriage, terrifies me! I don't know how i would handle that!!

How would you feel or have you felt at hearing those words? Is IVF nothing to be afraid of, am i just being ridiculous? Please someone tell me i'm not the only one who feels this way!!

[Bron]

Oh my beautiful friend! :hugs:

I've never had IVF treatment, but I can understand your fears. A friend of mine who conceived her babies through IVF and has had miscarriages put it this way: "Your reproductive years are hard. You shed so many more tears than you would possibly expect. So many people think it is easy to have a baby because so many people do it, but when you dig below the surface, most people have some heartbreak and anxiety about it".

I'm thinking positive thoughts for you.

Bron xxxx

[Lunar]

:hugs: Bec, Honey, try not to see it as a bad thing but as more of a stepping stone to achieve your dreams.

I have never been faced with IVF so I don't know how I would react, but I know that if it was what I had to do to have a miracle of my own I would go for it!
Every pregnancy is at risk of miscarriage in the early days, just like IVF, you can only try and hope that the outcome will be good... just like anything else in life I guess.

Chin up. I am wishing you success in your journey.
:hugs:

[TJ]

:hugs: Nope babe you certainly arent the only one thats terrified.
Just being on the clomid and now on the darn injections makes me feel like a failure, makes me feel like im broken.
It took me a while to work up the courage to even admit that something wasnt right then the battle to actually go and see someone.

Hopefully you wont have to go down this path and your scan tomorrow is good news.

Did you O last cycle on the clomid?

You do know that you can say NO to IVF, i certainly am going to tomorrow if my FS tells me again we need to go down that road.

Always here to chat if you need to.:hugs:

[draught]

Puk my friend - I know where you are coming from. After 6 months on clomid they told me it wasn't working and we were looking at daily injections etc because DH and I were both scared of IVF. Luckily we decided to have a break from it all, as it was putting a huge strain on us and our marriage - and we fell pregnant the day we decided to have a break - still as a result of the clomid but very cliched. Since then I have often wondered why we were so scared. Many of our friends have been through IVF successfully - some went straight to it as they knew with their problems conceiving any other way was a remote chance. I still don't know the answer. All I can say is that whatever happens and whatever you decide I am happy to provide an ear to listen etc, because although I now have two and soon to be three, I will never forget the heartbreak of that period of our lives and I never take our good fortune for granted.

[SuperWoman]

Puk, I understand what you are feeling. The day we were told that I felt like I had been slapped in the face. Pure shock to the system. Yes, it is a hard road to take and sometimes it is filled with heartbreak and tears but there is also that special moment after all your hard work and tears that a miracle is given to you. I had no idea what IVF entailed before we started and I think I was more scared of the actual word itself, if that makes any sense. Do some reserch, read up on it and you will find it isnt as scary as it seems hun. If you need to chat dont hesitate to PM me and ask me anything you need to know hun. Take care.:hugs:

[Puk]

Thank you ladies for your kind words! I'm glad i'm not bonkers! :p

TJ, i'm sorry you feel that way but i'm glad i'm not the only one! I see other people falling pregnant so easily and wonder why i am broken!

Draught, i'm so glad that after all your heartache and struggle you finally got what you wanted and i'm very happy you don't take it for granted! Your story gives me hope, it may still happen for me yet! We just have to give up! :p

Thank you all for your support, it's very much appreciated! I'd still like to hear anyone else's stories who feel like posting! It helps to know that others have or do feel the same way!

On a slightly different note, i am very proud of myself for being able to give myself injections! :p I never knew if i'd be able to do it but it turns out i can! :D

[nicoleE]

Even though I have not Od by myself (but am so far on Clomid) I have never felt a falure as such, maybe because both sisters also had troubles (we all have PCOS) and it felt a bit more normal to encounter problems for me... Dont get me wrong, I sometimes feel a bit angry (a few "why me?" episodes) and dissapointed that it cant just be easy! But I recognise that many (unfortunately) do have problems conceiving for many reasons so dont be to hard on yourself.

I know if it comes to IVF for us we will take it in our stride and souldier on, I'd do anything to have a baby.

I agree do some research or talk to a FS about the procedure then you will know what to expect and you wont have that part of the fear.

Good Luck. :hugs:

[shelle65]

Hi Puk :hugs:

When it looked like I might have to go down the IVF route, something that helped immensely was having a look through the IVF threads here and on other forums.

Following the journeys of the amazing women who went through the process, and seeing the miracles that resulted, made me realise that the end result was worth every difficult step along the way, and made me so thankful that I live in 2006 and not 30 years ago when this option didn't even exist.

Best of luck to you :hugs:

[MilkOnTap]

Puk - you are not a failure or broken! You know what I found out yesterday? A girl who I went to school with is now 22. She fell pg with her first when she was 15 and has now had 4 kids to 4 different dads. Her children have been taken off her cause she didn't treat them well and custody has been given to each of the fathers.

When we have to wait for something, we appreciate its value and its worth all the more. We acknowledge how precious life is, and we understand how sacred conception, pregnancy and birth truly are.

I'm in no way suggesting that those women who fall pg at the drop of a pin love their children any less than those who have to wait a year, two years, even 10 years for their little cherubs. All I'm saying is that it makes us love our babies even more, because we've had to wait and have patience.

It truly is a virtue, and probably something that I needed to learn more about before becoming a mother :laughing:

You will be a great mum one day, and whether it is by falling pg naturally, or by using scientific means it wont make a difference - the love you give your child is all that matters. And I think more than a few other bubhub women would back me up on that!


Love and Hugs,
Ally :hugs:

[*Sparkles*]

After 5 years, we were headed down the path of IVF and started with 6 cycles of insemination. On top of that, we found out that my DH is totally infertile so our only hope of having a baby was by donor sperm.
I was lucky and conceived (by donor) after 3 tries so I didn't have to go through the medications and IVF process.

As far as feeling like a failure... well, we have councelling to help us deal with the fact that we needed a donor and that DH is not biologically the baby's father. We have dealt with it very well. We don't feel like our baby is "second best" or that DH has failed at all.
One comment that a councellor made to us was "it's ok to grieve for the baby that you couldn't have, the naturally conceived baby"
I replied "there is no grieving for a baby that we couldn't have, because we do have him and he is growing inside me now and he is what was meant to be and nothing else".

I suppose that shows our acceptance of what was meant to be, rather than dwelling on what wasn't meant to be. It makes the baby inside of you feel even more special because of what was involved to conceive him/her.
I am sharing this story because I hope you can adopt the same attitude as us and embrace the fact that this is the way your baby was supposed to come into your lives, so I hope it will help you to deal with everything.

Good luck with your journey, I hope you have your little miracle soon :hugs:

[kristy J]

I fell pregnant naturally after 3.5 years with many health issues, one month befor we were to start IVF.

I always felt like a i had failed at this part of my life, and i really feel for anyone going through it.
my friend did have IVF and the best results came out of it a beautiful baby boy.

be strong and good luck

[Puk]

Thanks ladies, you're the best! Pink Lady, your post nearly made me cry! :p

I'm feeling a little calmer about the whole thing now, it was just a shock to hear it said so soon! I still feel like a failure, i know i'm not and it's not my fault and all but i can't help but feel that way.

Things are looking a little more positive at the moment, i have yet another scan tomorrow! Hopefully it won't come to IVF but if it does i'll be prepared! :)

[Pixie]

I am late as usually and don't really belong in here but if it comes to IVF puk that is not because you're a failure you have done everything to try and get pregnant chin up lass I hope what ever happens doesn't cause you stress and upset and it all goes well;):hugs:

[Bron]

And don't forget pukkles, we're here, every step of the way, to listen to you and let you share your thoughts.

:hugs:

[xkwzit]

I couldn't really give you any advice about IVF, but now I have something to say :) Be sure to keep us posted about tomorrow...I have a good feeling... :fingerscrossed: for you.

Cheers

[JnA]

Hi


I am TTC #2 on IVF. The other ladies have given such great advice, I don't have anything to add except a huge amount of luck and support for you.


And it may interest you to know that if a transfer doesn't work, it's no different to the millions of other women who concieve naturally, never know it and expell the embryo in thier next AF. The only difference is that assisted techniques 'know' when they were implanted.


Best of luck..

[Puk]

I had more of a chat with my doctor today, he said he didn't mean to scare me, he just wanted to prepare me for the possibility.

My scan showed that i have 4 mature follicles! How frustrating is that? All this time we were worried that none would grow (i have heaps) and now we have to NOT get pregnant because i have too many! :p

So no go this month but at least now we know i can grow them! He did say that if i continue to produce too many then i will have to go with IVF but i told him that's something i won't think about for at least 6 more months, i'd like to keep doing what we're doing now for a while longer and hope that it happens naturally! :)

Thanks again everyone for your kind words. I had a bit of a silly freak-out moment there but you ladies made me feel much better! :hugs:

[shorty_851]

You have taken the words right out of my mouth i too am scared pooless:gloomy: .

I hate the thought and it is acctually starting to stress me out

But to be honest my biggest scare is having to have eggs donated or sperm donated.

[Puk]

Yeah, that scares me too! Although DH has been tested and is fine and it seems i can actually develop eggs! :D

Read back on what everyone else said, it really helps! No matter how your child is brought into the world it is going to be loved and cherished! Good luck to you, hope it works out! :)

[xkwzit]

Wow Puk
Thanks for posting the update, though it must be a weird combination of elation (yay - can grow eggs) and frustration (don't want to risk a quad pg :thumbsdown:)

I guess it is all part of the fine tuning of the drugs??

Cheers (I don't think it will be long now :) )