meme
23-10-2006, 13:48
my girl is 10yrs.
she often hides things from me and doesn't like to answer direct questions. nothing big, just little things like not eating her school lunch and then not wanting to fess up to it, and then i find the mouldy lunch under her bed.
i admit i feel it is because i havn't always been the greatest mum, i parented through fear a lot more when she was younger and i know she does it coz she is scared of getting into trouble. i don't hit her or anything nasty, just lose my temper and yell.
today it was her phone, i asked her if she was texting people and she said no, then her phone beeped and she admitted she was texting her nanny (my mum). this is soo no big deal, only that she is lying to me.:banghead:
then she was cleaning her room and had the vaccumm and i asked her if there was anything left under her bed and she said no. i asked if i went and looked would i see anything and then it changed to 'hardly anything'. this was nearly straight afte ri had told her not to lie to me about things:banghead:
then i found some mouldy lunch. this has been an ongoing issue trying to get her to eat lunches. i often ask her what she ate for lunch and she tells me 'i don't know' ( another lie, she just doesn't want to admit the truth).
i am scared about her being a teenager that lies to me. on the whole i think we have a very close and open relationship. it is just these situations where she thinks i will be angry that she lies or tries to avoid the truth .
i asked her what i could do to help her change this behaviour and she suggested a reward chart for telling the truth.
do you think this would work? what else could i do?
the thing is most of the things that she doesn't want me to get angry about, i know about/find out about anyway and then i am doubly upset, not so much for whatever it was, that's usually trivial, but for the lie.
what do you think, how should i handle this.??? please help i have utterly no idea and really want to turn this around asap.
she often hides things from me and doesn't like to answer direct questions. nothing big, just little things like not eating her school lunch and then not wanting to fess up to it, and then i find the mouldy lunch under her bed.
i admit i feel it is because i havn't always been the greatest mum, i parented through fear a lot more when she was younger and i know she does it coz she is scared of getting into trouble. i don't hit her or anything nasty, just lose my temper and yell.
today it was her phone, i asked her if she was texting people and she said no, then her phone beeped and she admitted she was texting her nanny (my mum). this is soo no big deal, only that she is lying to me.:banghead:
then she was cleaning her room and had the vaccumm and i asked her if there was anything left under her bed and she said no. i asked if i went and looked would i see anything and then it changed to 'hardly anything'. this was nearly straight afte ri had told her not to lie to me about things:banghead:
then i found some mouldy lunch. this has been an ongoing issue trying to get her to eat lunches. i often ask her what she ate for lunch and she tells me 'i don't know' ( another lie, she just doesn't want to admit the truth).
i am scared about her being a teenager that lies to me. on the whole i think we have a very close and open relationship. it is just these situations where she thinks i will be angry that she lies or tries to avoid the truth .
i asked her what i could do to help her change this behaviour and she suggested a reward chart for telling the truth.
do you think this would work? what else could i do?
the thing is most of the things that she doesn't want me to get angry about, i know about/find out about anyway and then i am doubly upset, not so much for whatever it was, that's usually trivial, but for the lie.
what do you think, how should i handle this.??? please help i have utterly no idea and really want to turn this around asap.