Need to Vent

[shorty_851]

Sorry i know i have to vent and i whinged about this the other day but this is beyond keeping in.

We were stopped seeing DSS for 2 months and then we were told we could have him very Sunday for 4 weeks and then the four weeks was up and we were told that we could have him stay the weekend every second weekend and every Sunday well last weekend was our first full weekend and when she came to pick him up we were told that we were going to be having him every weekend plus 3 days a week.

I know this is DH's son and i knew he had him when we got together but this is crazy.

She get is only meant to get $81.00 in child support a week yet we give her 200.00$ plus we pay for his child care.

What more does this women want.

When do i get time to spend with DH as when DSS is there i have to look after him and then get in trouble if he falls off his bike by his mother. It is really starting to get to me i meant this is beyond a joke.

And the worse part is i compare myself with this women.

Sorry but i have just worked my self up so much i have got my self in tears.

I can't say no to DH having DSS come and stay because the child needs to see his father but i feel like i have no say at all.

I know that she will be getting a lot more money next year as DP ahs just started a new job and it is a very very good paying job and she will get most of it.

Im just so angry :banghead: :mad: :crying:

[Mummy-2-2]

Well if you have the child more, you wont have to pay as much cs, and if you are so worried about paying her all of your money from your husbands job, stop it. Only pay her what you have to.

[shorty_851]

Thanks. I have finally been put on the child support thing so that i can make changes etc but they still dont seem to listen.

I just want to have some time alone with DP so we can TTC its so hard when the child is not your own.

[Kassiasmum]

As for the child support make sure your dh keeps a meticulous diary of when he has ds and what he did with him, she will fight it and say that he hasn't had him as much as what he is, also this is good for FTB, which you can claim if you have dss for more that 14% of the year.
Have you guys got contact orders drawn up, if not I would suggest this as well, that way she is not just dictating to your bf when he has is own child.

"when she came to pick him up we were told that we were going to be having him every weekend plus 3 days a week." If this is the case, you will find that she should be paying your bf child support as he has majority care, I would be getting papers drawn up to state that this is what care she wants and get straight on to child support, there is no way you guys should be paying her is you are having him that much, she is only having him 2 days per week.
Unfortunately when there are other peoples kids involved, it is not an easy road, I have been there for 10 years and it doesn't get any easier. I would be thinking long and hard if this is what you want long term as his child will always be there and most likely will always come first, I am not trying to sound blunt but that's just the way some step families work and you just have to accept that there are other children involved that you have no control over what happens with them. you and bf need to find a way of dealing with your feelings towards the resentment you feel at not having any time alone with him, does he know how you feel.
Ok enough rambling from me and please don't take this the wrong way, I was only just older than you when I came into my situation and I had no idea it would be as hard as it can be, but it can also be quite rewarding.