Baby sleeps late and how to gradually stop co-sleeping

[Phillipa]

Hi!

I need to share my experience regarding my daughters sleep patterns and would really appreciate if anyone could give me some advice or share their own experience.

We struggled to put our daughter to sleep from day one. We tried to rock her, give her the dummy, push her in the pram etc. It took us hours! Then she would wake up after a few hours (as a newborn I nursed her several times during the night) and it took us another hour or so to put her back to sleep.

So one night, I was too tired to get up, so I took her to bed with us. She nursed and fell asleep straightaway. That was the first night we all slept. So I continued to nurse her in bed which eventually ended up in (safe) co-sleeping.

Co-sleeping still works out for us. My daughter is now three months old. The only problem at the moment is, that she goes to sleep at around 11pm - 11.30pm. She sleeps usually till 5am. Then she wakes up and I nurse her for 10 minutes and then she goes back to sleep till around 8am - 9am.

I have two concerns at the moment:

1. How can I get her to sleep earlier? (she also has three naps during the day, one in the morning (45min), one after lunch (2hrs) and one in the evening (45min)).

2. How long should I continue with co-sleeping? How can I gradually get her to sleep in her cot?

I would appreciate any advice or experiences with similar situations.

Phillipa

[daylily]

I read somewhere that it's the timing of the third nap that affects their bedtime. You could try moving one or more of them earlier or extending the time between the second and third and make the third nap bedtime...? Re co:) sleeping we still do it at 7.5 months but DS always starts in his cot. I put him down asleep though and wait for ages to make sure he stays asleep which has its disadvantages.

[Phillipa]

Hi Daylily,

thank you for your reply.

I will try to move the naps earlier. Hopefully this will help.

I know, I always have to make sure that my daughter is asleep properly, otherwise she'll wake up and I have to start from the beginning. I guess it's not easy. I refuse to let my baby "cry it out", like so many (including my husband) suggest. I wish there was other choices. It's like "let the baby cry, or spend hours to put her to sleep."


Thanks again for your answer.

[Caviar]

1. How can I get her to sleep earlier? (she also has three naps during the day, one in the morning (45min), one after lunch (2hrs) and one in the evening (45min)).

We gradually moved his times by stretching out his waking hours and implementing two sleeping periods - morning and afternoon. This took a few weeks but he now sleeps for 2 hours in the morning and three hours in the afternoon. This took patience and consistency.

2. How long should I continue with co-sleeping? How can I gradually get her to sleep in her cot?

As long as it suits you. There is no law against co-sleeping and when done safely is a wonderful way to connect with your child. Our son still sleeps with us but he starts off in his cot. We achieve this by quiet time about an hour before he's due to go to bed, feeding is completed before this and yes, there are a few tanties sometimes but I just keep at it and eventually he does sleep. He now wakes at around 5am and sleeps in our bed until around 8am when he wakes. This works for us.

[decemberbubba]

I agree with PP's, to get your LO to bed earlier you may just have to try and adjust the day naps a little, so that the third nap ends up being bedtime. You might find your LO will still wake up after 45 mins, so instead of getting her up you can go and settle however you usually would (might take a little while to get her back to sleep at the start, but if you keep things quiet, dark and boring she should soon realise it's time to go back to sleep).

Re co-sleeping - do it for as long as you and bub are happy to! If you want to transition her to her cot you could set it up as a side-car (so one side taken off the cot and attached to the bed). That way you can both have your own space but she is within reach for easy feeding etc. You can then progress to putting the side back on the cot but still having her in the same room, then move her into her own room. Good luck :)

[ilovehats]

Do you have a bedtime routine? If not I would start one, something like feed, bath, feed, bed at 7pm. You will need to do this consistently for at least a week before she gets used to it, and may need to wake her every day at the same time - maybe 8am - to get her used to that too. I think setting a wake time and a bed time and work the day sleeps out from there. A longer sleep morning, early afternoon and a quick nap around 4/5pm is pretty usual for a 3mo.

[Mrs E]

Our DD could be twins by your post. I found if I didn't let her nap after 6:30pm I was able to bring forward her bedtime to 8:30pm. We have a bad night every now and again but as a rule it's 8:30pm most nights.

I shower/bath her at 7pm. Feed and play and she's usually getting tired by 8pm. Sometimes she'll have a EBM top up in the cot.

DD also does her first sleep of the night and the rest of her sleep in with me. DH works odd hours so he's in the spare rooms most nights. It works for all of us and we love it :)

[daylily]

I was going to say too that in our case DS doesn't sleep as well in his cot which makes life harder for me, so you might have to weigh up what's most important to you - your sleep or the baby sleeping in the cot. For us my DH can't sleep with us both in the bed so we keep trying the cot until DS gets a cold or I'm exhausted and we go back to co-sleeping! So do what works best for you all!

[Phillipa]

I am worried if I try to stretch waking time DD might get overtired. But I will definitely try to stretch it a little bit in the afternoon and try to make the third nap bedtime.

She normally wakes up at around 9am and goes back to sleep around 10:30am. The first nap is always 40 minutes. Then I put her back to sleep around 1pm. She sleeps for 1 hour and wakes up and I usually rock her back to sleep in her bassinet and then she sleeps for another hour. If she doesn’t sleep for 2 hours after lunch, she gets cranky in the evening. That’s why I rock her back to sleep, which is another problem: She is getting too big for the bassinet! L In the evening she falls asleep between 6 and 7pm and wakes up after an hour and stays awake till 11 – 11:30pm.

Regarding co-sleeping, I am happy to do it. We definitely get our sleep this way. But it's a good idea to try to put the cot next to the bed. I haven't thought about it.

Thank you everyone for your answers.