3 year old monster advice

[SeekingMore]

Its like my 3yo has just snapped in the last 3 weeks...

She has always been a stubborn little thing... and extremely firey, but she has been gorgeous and pretty easy to handle...

but about 3 weeks ago its like she snapped overnight. She has become a bully to her two older sisters... she pokes them, prods them, hits them, snatches things off them on purpose... torments them by shoving them back in their face and then running off again...
if she sees me coming she does the tormenting harder or faster until I get close enough to grab her to put her in time out and then she bolts laughing her head off.
She teases me and deliberately tries to irritate me and make me angry and its like she gets enjoyment out of it.

I have no idea what to do to break her out of it... its like she's becoming a household bully and she's in control of everyone.

the situation our house is in at the moment is a tough one... we've had a very stressful 12 months and I know its affected the kids...

for one they are all sleeping in the same room so she lacks in sleep badly through the day. She misses out on her day sleep because we are living 1/2 hour drive away from the school and kinder for drop off and pick up which means its right in the middle of her sleep time.

She has begun 3 yo kinder this year so I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but I would really appreciate some advice or some ideas on what I can do to try and change her behaviour... she is making me pull my hair out.

If you have any questions about other things she might be doing or that I'm doing feel free to ask...

TIA
X

[BigRedV]

A friend of mine told me the other day that 70% of behaviour issues regarding children are due to them not getting enough sleep.

[share a book]

Try to settle her earlier of a night and encourage her to lay in bed with a book for a while when she first wakes up. Is she drinking enough water? That can cause issues. By water I mean actual water, not weak cordial or juice or flavoured water. The other thing is that 3 is a difficult time for kids. The next hardest time is when they hit puberty so it will have an affect. And it will cause stress in the home. But they eventually turn 4.

[SeekingMore]

Thanks for your replies... She is almost 4 and it's like this has just come out of the blue.
we do try to settle her earlier and on some occasions it will work, but majority of the time she just plays up until I have to put the others to bed as well and then all 3 of them create chaos!
My hubby and I don't get ANY time to ourselves at all with the bedtime situation in this house and it drives us insane!
Hopefully we will only have to do it for another 2.5 months and then we can get them into their own rooms in our new home, but in the meantime I have no idea how to control my 3yo...

That sounds terrible doesnt it.... Oh man I feel like such a failure.

[DADof3]

That's funny cuz my 3yo son he cn jus tlk bout any nd errthing I'm like he's been here b4. Where do they get the stuff they say from its so funny. But a lot of the time I'm like will he ever close him mouth. The answer is no he tlks soooo much he sleeps with it open loll

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[FrogsnSnails]

SeekingMore, you are not a failure don't even think that. It sounds like you are doing the very best you can. I know how frustrating it is to not have any time to yourselves with your partner. I think sleep deprivation definitely affects children, I have a 3 year old and sometimes they just really push the boundaries but it is just the age and them asserting their own independence. I hope things settle down with her soon.

[tales]

Hi :) I agree with previous posters re sleep, although it sounds like you are doing everything you can to assist and support healthy sleep patterns. Keep at it. Is she doing okay at kindy? Maybe check with her carers there what her behaviour is like during the day, does she nap, is she having any troubles with the other kids, is she eating and drinking okay etc? Kindy could be the reason. I often wonder what goes on with my little one after we drop her off. Are the other kids nice to her, is she nice to them, does she play with them, do they ignore one another etc.

Also, is she well? My 3 year old isn't really good at telling me when something's wrong, but I generally just know, even if not specifically. Maybe get her a health check, just to rule out anything physiological (that's probably what I would do). Otherwise, it may be just an attention-seeking ploy. I know you give your kids as much as you possibly can (as we all do). My brother had similar problems with his eldest girl (she's 4), and found things improved when they took time to do things with her just by herself (e.g, little sister went to stay with with Nanna overnight so that mum, dad and eldest could have some (re)bonding time) now and again. The more kids we have, the harder it is to find time for each of them individually, but it might help.. Process of elimination. If everything else is okay (health, kindy, home life etc), then it's probably just a phase (exacerbated by disturbed sleep). Set the boundaries and stick with them. She will adjust and come out of it.

You're not a failure. Just remember that there's usually a normal, rational reason for everything, and that everything is a phase they will eventually grow out of. Hang in there - when she grows up and perhaps has kids of her own, and complains to you about how unmanageable they are, you can gently remind her of this time in her life.. :D