Finicky 7month old

[deanbean]

Hello
Thanks for taking the time to respond.
I have a 7mth old girl who regularly cries and refuses the breast during the day. It started at around 4mths and sometimes its better and sometimes its worse. I think perhaps a habit formed at this time when I tried to almost force her on - I know that this was wrong but I was so stressed that she wouldn't be getting enough milk and my supply would drop off. When she refuses now I just do something else for 1/2 hr and then try again. Unfortunately now she will often only feed when she's tired - ie just before napping - which of course means she doesn't feed quite as well.

As she is not feeding as frequently during the day she has started to feed more at night - generally 3 hrly. I have tried to resettle her without feeding and sometimes this works and more often than not I am up within half an hour feeding her anyway. This morning I tried only feeding her 1 breast at 5:00 so that she would feed earlier this morning before her first nap. She woke at 7am and would not feed until 9:15 (the same as other days)

She is almost as fussy with solids and I am concerned that all food will become a power issue.

Should I persevere trying to resettle at night without feeding as often? Should I stop trying all solids (we usually try something once a day - generally rice cereal or stewed fruit as I know she likes this) for a couple of weeks and hope it "resets" her food approach.

Do I just have to deal with getting up very regularly at night and hope the day feeds (milk and solids) just improve themselves? I am not prepared to let her cry to sleep at night without feeding.

Thanks again for your time

[Pinky McKay]

Hi Deanbean,
Please dont beat up on yourself that you may have 'caused ' your baby's finicky behaviour. This behaviour can be fairly common for a 7 month old - they are becoming more active so are often 'too busy' to feed well with all the distractions during the day.

As you say, it isnt worth setting up power struggles over feeding/ foods.

She does seem to have got into a bit of a 'reverse cycle' feeding pattern regarding day and night and you are sensible to consider that it would probably be a good idea just to 'go with the flow' for a couple of weeks and take the pressure off yourself and your baby. It is early days re solids and babies vary quite a bit in readiness so perhaps a slower approach may suit your baby - just offer what she seems to enjoy -it is your responsbility to offer healthy choices and then her choice to eat or not. It isnt good to create anxiety around food issues.

AS you say your baby feeds fairly well while sleepy -she is probably feeding quite efficiently at this age despite being sleepy - perhaps you could try one extra daytime feed while she is drowsy but almost due to wake - in a light sleep cycle. Some mums find that by lying down with baby during an afternoon nap they actually nurse for longer - ie nursing and dozing. This may get a bit more breastmilk in during the day and help her space her night feeds a little.

As you also suggest (you are a very sensible mum), it is better to simply feed her when she wakes rather than resettling without feeding if she is waking shortly after for a feed anyway - you may as well offer a feed straight away and get some decent sleep yourself.

This stage will pass - I promise. So please dont stress too much.

Best wishes,
Pinky