What do I need to know prebirth and 0-3mths???

[Buttoneska]

So im due in November and have a two parter

What do I need to know/do/tips/ - What do you wish you knew

1. Before bubs come
2. Newborn to 3mths

[Lumpy Melon]

Before baby:

Get your hair/nails/toes/eyebrows/legs done before because it might be a while before you can again.

Stock up on nappies and groceries so that you don't have to go out unless you are up for it.

SLEEP!!!

Get a cleaner to clean your house from top to bottom a week before EDD, or do it yourself.

Give people an idea of how comfortable you are with visitors, the last thing you will want is to be bombarded :)

After:
Just look after yourself. Take vitamins, eat well, get as much rest as possible.

DS started teething at two months so I suggest some panadol and teethers on standby.

Other than that you just wing it really lol!

[changethestars]

My response to both can be summed up in three words - Trust Your Instincts!

You'll hear a million opinions from a million people. Do your own research and trust what feels right for you and your family.

For the birth - go with the flow of your labour, don't try to hurry it along, accept that you can't birth cannot be controlled and embrace whatever happens.

For afterwards - you WILL sleep again and it DOES get easier. I promise.

Good luck! Don't stress and trust your gut :)

Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

[Wickedly Happy]

Subscribing!

[Alimia]

Before: SLEEP. After: rest when ever you can

[duckduckgoose]

I'm sure you are going to get heaps of good advice - one thing everyone told me was not to be disappointed if I didn't have a natural drug-free birth. I basically ignored them because I was dead-set going to have one regardless. Well things didn't go to plan and I had an epidural and I was so disappointed and mad at myself. I should have talked these feelings through more. It made me feel like a failure from the beginning and things just got worse from there.

ETA - one other thing i didn't really expect - your body is going to feel pretty awful after having a baby. It will feel like you have no internal organs in your stomach and you can't stand up for more than a minute. Don't worry, it passes and you do go back to normal. Just remember your body was a house for someone (and their placenta). It's done an amazing job so is bound to be a bit worse for wear for a while.

[bluebutterfly74]

Yep I will second all the posts. lol Before birth eat well, rest when you can. I didn't get to experience natural birth due to pre existing conditions but if you can't go natural go with the flow. At the end of the day as long as bub is delivered thats the most important and saftly. Go with your gut, your instinct will take over. Goodluck.

[headoverfeet]

For you...have u been studying wrapping tutorials on YouTube? Practice with a doll or teddy? Look into how to feed laying down. I now your getting your placenta encapsulated, have you thought about getting the cord dried IF you want to keep it.

IMO 0-3 month olds are so easy they just need boobs, a nappy change, the odd shower or bath, a wrap or baby wearing device and mummy or daddy to socialize with (the odd close relative doesn't go astray). Don't over complicate anything and go slow. Rest and just be with your baby listen to your instincts!

Address any birth fears you might have before hand :yes: don't be afraid to ask for 5 min alone time with your partner/support person to discuss any interventions. Take one contraction at a time and tell people to be quiet if you want them to! Don't be a "good girl" your not there to perform your there to bring your baby earthside, it might be an everyday thing for your care providers but it's a first for you, you can't go back and redo this birth, it will be with you forever. Ask your support people to ask you if there is anything they are not doing that you want them to do (do this when you are alone with them), you don't know how you will react when you are in labour let yourself have a chance to get help if you can't speak up for yourself.

Skin to skin contact after birth is so important for breastfeeding, don't let them give you a burrito baby (all wrapped up) post birth, this is detrimental to that first latch baby needs their hands out! After birth ask for quiet and a dim room, this helps with bonding and hormones.

Have u read gentle birth gentle mothering?

[Buttoneska]

Thanks guys

Thermy, I am waiting for my first Gira to arrive - I have brought a doll to start practising. Which main wraps do you reckon I need to learn?

Do you think I should get a bf pillow?

I have never heard of cord drying?

[headoverfeet]

Sorry I added to my previous post..


Thanks guys

Thermy, I am waiting for my first Gira to arrive - I have brought a doll to start practising. Which main wraps do you reckon I need to learn?

Do you think I should get a bf pillow?

I have never heard of cord drying?

I would just learn front wrap cross carry, FWCC.

Um..depends on your body I have a nice squish tummy so I just use that, plus my boobs are..well tubular so they are sort of low enough haha. If you have perky ish boobies remember to bring baby to boob not booby to baby or youll end up with a crook neck. Oh on that note book yourself and baby into chiro ASAP post birth.

Ah it's just a keepsake thing :)

[FearlessLeader]

I'd go one further than 'trust your instincts' and say YOU are the boss of your baby! Not the mch nurse, not the paed at the hospital, not your MIL, not the old lady in the supermarket.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I saw so many mums in my mother's group stress themselves out by trying to stretch out feeds, or get their bub to give up a dummy, or get them into a sleep/feed/play routine. You'd ask them- so are they not sleeping well if they're fed to sleep? Oh no, they sleep fine it's just I don't want to get them into bad habits. I say wait until it actually becomes an issue, because sometimes it won't be.

When people say sleep when the baby sleeps, that doesn't just mean napping in the day. I would go to bed for the night at 8.30 after DS was down and i had had some dinner.

Lastly, the first 3 months can be reasonably easy. Newborns sleep a lot. The trouble begins after that when they stop sleeping so well during the day, and you cop arsenic hour between the last nap and bedtime. When DS was that age, I would get everything I needed before he woke, then settled on the couch to just let him feed as long as he wanted.

Oh that wasn't last I have one more :) I found getting him into a bedtime routine from just a few weeks old really helped him sleep well at night. In the beginning this was: BF at 5pm, bath at 6, baby massage at 6.30, BF to sleep at 7.

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub

[duckduckgoose]

Thermy reminded me of something else. If you don't like your midwife ask for another one. Don't worry about being "polite"!

[Pesca77]

I won't repeat other good posts already...but here are a few tips that may help (everyone is diff of course).
- cook in bulk to freeze beforehand. The last thing I felt like doing in the first few weeks was cook!
- buy really cheap undies for hospital (size bigger than normal)
- buy 'suck me in' underwear. I really did feel more supported wearing them in the first few weeks
- set expectations with family/friends BEFORE bubs arrives. E.g. We said no visitors before lunch so we always had the morning together and could take our time showering etc
- research post birth bleeding if you don't already know, so you don't freak out. I had no idea how long it lasts!
- read as much as you possibly can (and attend an ABA meeting) if you plan on b/f. It's very often not as 'easy' & 'natural' at first - it hurts!
- after a vag birth, it can feel as though your insides are 'hanging' down...completely normal & does pass. The sucker undies help.
- have an open mind for your labour/birth. Sometimes nature has a different idea than us, but all that matters is your bubs enters this world healthy (drugs/assistance or not).

[Buttoneska]

Thermy reminded me of something else. If you don't like your midwife ask for another one. Don't worry about being "polite"!

hmmm my sister is my mid so not sure if I can trade her in if she gives me the sh1ts.. haha

[FearlessLeader]

Oh another one- if you need a c-section you will need big, big biiiiiiig undies! Haha I thought my granny undies were huge, but my.scar got infected as the band was rubbing on the scar. I went to the GP and she said 'nope, bigger. To here' and put her hand up to just under my boobs :laughing:

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub

[Buttoneska]

bahaha... FL I nearly peed my pants

[FearlessLeader]

bahaha... FL I nearly peed my pants

LOL, well that will probably happen at some point too!

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub

[kw123]

Subscribing!

[Boobycino]

Thermy reminded me of something else. If you don't like your midwife ask for another one. Don't worry about being "polite"!

I didnt even think of that. Though mine ****ed me off the moment she came in because id just hit transition. She put her hand on my shoulder and told me I was doing great so I hated her! How DARE she tell me im doing great! She just.got here!!! Lol

Before katelyn we went to aldi amd spent $250 on food that can keep in the pantry and freezer and can be prepared with one hand - more or less - like pasta & sauce, frozen chicken things, frozen lasanga, tuna bake.ingredients & muffin bars, muesli bars etc etc etc it felt like we were putting together a natural disaster kit.

Best idea ever. Meant I didnt have to go do a big grocery shop with a newborn for ages.

Sent from my X10i using BubHub

[becandabub]

Great thread!! Subscribing!!

[BaronessM]

Another hint...teach yourself to cat nap, sleep when bub is sleeping. All these gorgeous chicks have given excellent advice. As for wrapping, the Angel Wrap (where you fold over the top corner of the wrap, and use that to tuck the little hands in before continuing as usual) is a great one. Stops them scratching themselves, too. Good luck!

[smallpotatoes]

I second (third?) giving the house a good clean before going your due date. It made my mat leave go quicker and was good because the unit didn't get a good clean for a while.

Sleep!! (If you can!)

If you're interested in breastfeeding maybe go the ABA and brush up on some of the info. I know that when I was in hospital I got so much conflicting information. I think they have breastfeeding plans which I think look good.


First 0-3 months
Accept help. They can help clean/cook you dinner.
Involve hubby as much you can to help build his confidence with bub.
After birth, sleep when you can. Just relax. I watched lots of DVDs those first couple of months.
I loved having a breastfeeding pillow because it helped prop bub up and usually gave me a hand free.
I agree with PP - go to bed early as well as nap when bub naps. I was having trouble sleeping with DD in the room in her bassinet, so I'd get DH to mind her out in the lounge room, while I slept in our room and he'd bring her in if she needed a feed.
Laying down feeds are great!

[anewme]

I haven't the other replies, sorry if I repeat what other have sais already.

Pre birth
Cook some meals in advance that last two weeks of pregnancy you may not feel up to cooking and after birth you will have days that you just want to be bothered cooking.

Make sure for at least the last months you go for a walk, to clear you mind and get your body in the right shape for labour.

For the last 6 to 8 weeks do your perennial massage at least twice a day.

Buy a month supply of baby stuff (nappies, wipes etc) I get one thing a pay.

Rest up in that last week or so.

After birth.

Breastfeeding hurts for the first month or so. It does get better. It does get to point it doesn't hurt at all.

Nobody knows your baby better than you.

It ok if your house is a mess, don't stress about housework.

Remember to drink like your a fish if your breastfeeding it will help with milk supply

Sometimes your boobs have a mind of their own. They will give a let down for no reason.

If boobs get too hard let them drip, A terry flat nappy is great for this, wear one in a loose bra or just under a t-shirt when your home. This will help in mastitis prevention. If they (your boobs) get hotter than the rest of your body head straight to the dr.

Some newborn eat,sleep and poo. Others like to stay awake for hours.

What you eat can effect your milk supply and their wind.

Terry flats are great for milk cloths, spew cloths, bed/couch protectors, they even make great tea towels :laughing: I never leave the house with out one or two.

Put a towel on your bed in those first few days while your milk comes in.

Sleep when you can.

A normal pillow or a normal u pillow ($12 at Kmart) works just as good as a breastfeeding pillow.

[summastarlet]

Pre birth...

-stock up on expensive items like cleaning products, toilet paper, etc. Also stock up on wipes, newborn nappies (if using sposies).

-go with the nesting instinct (mine urged me to clean the house top to bottom and do all kinds of cleaning stuff like clean out fridge, tidy up kitchen cupboards etc..it's good as I don't think I'd have time or energy to do it now!).

-enjoy some time as a couple..go out to dinner, go to the movies.

-catch up with friends..you might not get a chance to do this for a little while until you get into the swing of motherhood

-freeze some meals, stock the pantry

0-3 months

-babies can have their days & nights mixed up to start with...they do work this out but until then..sleep when you can, even if it's during the day.

-in the first 6 weeks..sleep when bub sleep!! Don't worry about the house work or washing!

-Don't be afraid to say no to visitors of you are tired or if bub is having a fussy day/night/week. Sometimes it's too much effort to have people round in the early days.

-accept help...if people want to bring you meals, clean the house or hang out the washing..say yes please!!!

-breast feeding can be harder than you expect; ask for help in the hospital if you are having trouble and afterwards access support if you need it

-wrap me up swaddles are so much easier than swaddling with muslin wraps..and bub cannot wiggle out of them!! I wish I had used these from day 1.

-trust your instincts and feel free to ignore other peoples advice if you don't feel it's right for you or baby. You know what's best for you and your baby.

-baths/showers are a great way to soothe bub if they are upset (and you have tried everything and don't know what's wrong)

-it's ok to cry; you are hormonal and emotional and becoming a mum can be overwhelming..no shame in having a good cry!

[trishalishous]

Already some excellent advice, but my 2c is:
-Dont think "oh Ill leave that to do after bubs arrives, babies sleep all the time and Ill get bored" DD is 2 and Im only getting a handle on our unpacking now! All I could do was sleep and boob here for the first 8 weeks.
-Get a 'do not knock' sign for your front door. Nothing more annoying than laying down for a sleep finally, and some salesperson bangs on the door and wakes you both up!

[FearlessLeader]

Not only is it ok to cry, it's also ok to be angry- at the baby, at your DH, the world in general. Sometimes you will feel completely out of your depth, sometimes you will want to run away from home. On really bad days you may have awful thoughts about your baby. It all happened to me. I didn't have PND, and i think overall I coped fairly well, but some days are unimaginably hard. It's all normal, and it's fine to admit when you just can't cope, even if you think you *should* be.

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub

[natct]

Good luck with everything looks like your getting some great advice. I better put my 2cents worth in if you don't mind.

I wish I had a stomach/back support of some kind to help rebuild the muscles.
Go with the flow during birth. If you want something scream for it. I packed apple juice fruit box and jelly beans. Needed them first time as 42hrs but second quicker and didn't.
Take a flannel and make sure partner knows to cool you constantly as it can get a bit warm.
I never knew about the six week bleed after or the 6 months of no periods and panicked.
They kept telling me I was attaching wrong because BF hurt but it was just because it was being rubbed constantly and did heal after a month. I would pre moisturise for a few months before hand.
I have a larger chest and didn't need a BF pillow but when your out having lunch put a towel under them when feeding. Mine would let go and have the milk running down slowly filling my shorts and being body temp I had no idea till standing. Oh yes and they never told me that when let down happens in one side it can happen simultaniously in the other side and fill my bra and shirt. Discretely holding pressure on the unused nipple can stop this.
I didn't know about heamroids happening during birth. Make sure partner knows what to get if it happens for the pain, there are some great pain easing creams.
In the north its too hot to wrap so our second wasn't wrapped, he hated it from day 1.
Stay in the hospital for three days. If you want. They bring you all your meals in bed, snacks and hot tea, clean everything, while your there ask heaps of questions and bond, at home you get the urge to cook or clean and really shouldn't.
When your milk comes they can feel like their going to explode. A warm to hot shower and lean forward can ease it slightly and I found attaching hard being that big and laying on my side to feed was great. Water proof mattress protectors are great as you can leak during the night, lots, if you lean on them or even for no reason. A baby's cry can set them off while standing at a checkout and it may not even be your baby!!!. Carry a scarfe to cover it.
We live in a hot climate so baby bottles of water in between feeds was great. I have a drink inbetween meals the bub needed them too.
Bum out time is great but for a boy get some little undies!! It stops the piddle shooting across the room and missing the water proof floor mat.
A little bit of baby oil or protective cream on bubs butt for the first few days will greatly help removal of the dark green to black sticky tar like poos they have before the real ones come in.

Relax and enjoy. Ever though there was tonnes of stuff I didn't know it was still great and you don't need to be perfect your bub will love you even if you do get the occasional thing wrong.

Good luck looks like it might take till the birth to read all these great posts.

[Annabella]

Take time to just soak it all in and enjoy it- both late pregnancy and in baby's early days. Although I loved it the first and second time around, it wasn't til I had my third that I really just stopped and made an effort to just enjoy him. I didn't worry about how he fell asleep, how long he slept for, he was a notorious catnapper but I just told myself by 6 months he'll sleep longer stretches etc. I really just made myself stop and smell the roses, as they say.
It really is the most amazing time, just take the time to revel in how amazing your body is supporting another life, and how amazing newborns are. I wish I'd taken the time to do it more often :)

[Wippy]

Thanks for the thread Cara.

That's a great point Annabella. :)

[BaronessM]

Hey again, a few Mums on this thread have said 'Breastfeeding hurts at first, but gets better...' For most women it might feel a bit weird, but with correct attachment of bub, shouldn't hurt, unless your nipples are cracked or super-dooper sensitive. If BF'ing hurts, PLEASE consult a lactation consultant, specialist midwife, or ask the Special Care Nursery nurses for advice. They teach people to BF everyday. For Mum's who found it hurt but improved, often that's due to Mum and Bub getting better at attaching the baby and improving their technique. I just realised this had come up here a few times and didn't want you put off by the sum of other's experiences at all.

For me, breastfeeding was bliss (I was taught in specialist classes and in the SC nursery). It didn't hurt AT ALL, just a gentle tugging at the boob. It also gets the oxytocin flowing, which feels great ~ delight on tap.

Good luck with your preparations!

[BaronessM]

oh, and also, you don't need a purpose-made BF'ing pillow necessarily. A plain old pillow does the job nicely.

[Stretched]

So many good sugggestions - my 2bobs...

- Don't assume anything. Don't assume bub will come on time (early or late), or that bub will sleep all day as a newborn (mine didn't!), or that that your breasts will make the right amount of milk, or that you will have the birth you want, or that your DH will cope fine. But most importantly - do NOT every let yourself feel like a failure if things do not go the way you assumed they would!

Before bub - if you have any support people who will be staying/visiting frequently word them up on what you will want them to help with. A good support person isn't constantly saying "here give baby to me so you can have a break" they are washing that mountain of dishes and hanging out the 6 loads of washing you ran (but haven't got around to hanging out) - without you even asking.

Once bub arrives - start prepping/cooking dinner at 11am at the latest and don't expect to cook the sort of meals you always have. Practice cooking beforehand with doll in wrap - use the back burners on the stove!

The BEST advice I had before DD was to make sure you have a shower every day. I'd put DD in a bouncer at the shower door and sometimes she'd scream for the whole 3 minutes - but those few minutes every day kept me feeling human!

[Bubbles10]

Program the ABA help line number into your phone and your partner's phone. If you have issues in the early days it is nice to know where to turn to.

1800 686 2 686

The ABA runs breastfeeding classes that are awesome too.

Learn to feed lying down. It rocks!

Fill your freezer and cupboards beforehand, buy staples like toilet paper too.

[Buttoneska]

thanks everyone for your tips - I will continue to re-read as I get closer to the date but I already noticed some really cool points that I had never thought of.

It makes me feel quite lucky to, my sister is taking a month off to come and stay with me (I live 2hrs away from all my family). She is a mid/MCHN so hopefully will be able to help - my main goal ifor the first 3mths is to get BF under control, I really really really want to BF and I am a bit worried about it but I will stay positive.

Do you think its worth getting some nipple shields? Also do you think I should get an electric breast pump? I will be goign back to work at about 5mths so will prob need one then anyway?

[headoverfeet]

Yes a double electric hospital grade one, start pumping ASAP to build a stock up!

[Buttoneska]

do I have milk now?!??! What the?!?!?

[headoverfeet]

do I have milk now?!??! What the?!?!?

I meant after birth sorry! Kellymom is a great website, much better than the Aba website, there is a section that explains all about milk production and how it starts/works.

[Buttoneska]

I meant after birth sorry! Kellymom is a great website, much better than the Aba website, there is a section that explains all about milk production and how it starts/works.

ahh ok.. cool.. i will check it out. Thanks!

[Bubbles10]

Give yourself at least 6 weeks to just work on breastfeeding before you start pumping. Pumping too early can lead to oversupply issues.

i never used nipple shields, but did send DH out for some lansinoh cream so ii would recommend getting a tube of lansinoh and just find out where you can get nipple shields if you need them. Read up on good attachment and hopefully you won't need shields or cream!

My best early trick learnt was to stick my pinky finger in baby's mouth to break attachment before removing my nipple/breast.

[chookylaa]

And to stop your nipples from cracking in the first few days, smear milk around them and allow to air dry. For some reason this works and is a life saver.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

[changethestars]

My bubba had perfect latch and I still found BFing very very painful in the earlier days. Nipple shields saved my ability to breastfeed, they were a godsend. But you can probably just wait and see if you need them.

I also loved my breastfeeding pillow, it was only $40 off ebay and I used it all day every day for about the first 4 months.

Also, I had bubba's cot right up next to the bed. It was perfect for me as I didn't want to bed share but I didn't have to get out of bed for night feeds, just reach over and grab her.

[natct]

My little one also had perfect attachment as I did see the nurses and I did get help and was told that attachment was great but with nipples drying out and cracking after being rubbed constsntly every day it takes time for them to heal. Rubbing milk around definately helps and lanoline but early moisturising before bub 2 came helped heaps.

[BaronessM]

Hey guys, I was generalising abt BF'ing not being painful. Nipples are sensitive and take a while to get used to it, and naturally it's going to be different for everyone. The milk on the nipples and allowing them to air dry after feeding to stop cracking, or if already cracked, is awesome advice.

OP also asked if she has milk yet...actually, for the 3rd trimester and sometimes the end of the second, you do have colostrum. My natal ed teacher encouraged us to express just a drop or three each time we had a shower for the last trimester, to get familiar with our breasts, learn how best to express, and encourage colostrum production. Most of us aren't used to regularly feeling up our own b00bs before we have bubs! This really paid off for me, as my bub was a planned premmie, and I was able to express 20mls of colostrum before I even went in to the hospital ~ that's a lot for first colostrum. OP ~ give it a try!