I want to be a SAHM

[ETsMum]

Hi,
I haven't gone back to work since I had my son 14 months ago. I keep extending my leave every 3 months, but I can't do that forever. I want to be a SAHM, which will mean no $$$.
Please tell me I've made the right decision and my son will be better off with his mummy at home.... :)

[Mojogal]

Hi Len. Only you can make that decision, but I am a SAHM too and am loving it. We are on a single income (hubby works) but with Centrelink payments to help out, we get by financially. I guess it depends whether you can afford to stay home (ie: do have mortgage payments to keep up with etc?). Unfortunately for some, there is no other option but to return to work.

But if you can try to get some info from Centrelink about how much you can get from them each fortnight, perhaps that will help you come to a decision?

You are obviously happy to stay home, and it sounds like you would prefer this, so I would say to go with your instinct. Of course your son would greatly benefit from having his Mummy at home, if this is possible. Money isn't everything, but having the love and as much contact with you as is possible is.

Good luck, it's a tough question that only you can really answer, but I hope you can work something out so you can be a sAHM - you obviously want it very much!

Suze

[jade21887]

If you would prefer to stay at home, financially you can usually make it work!!

[ETsMum]

Thanks ladies!! :thumbsup:

What I want though, are the warm and fuzzy stories or the arguments I can use FOR staying at home when DP suggests that I should go back to work. :D

[Ruby Slippers]

When you stay at home you get to spend more time with him
and see the wonder in he's eye's when he Discovers things for the first time . :thumbsup:

or you could be at work making some money and he could be having a great time in childcare being very well looked after :thumbsup:

It's all up to you , I hope you are happy
with what decision you make :D .

[shellsbubs]

I recently gave up a stressful fulltime job and are so much happier - my children get more time with me and i am not so stressed. With centrelink payments and DH wage we get by. It is also easier now my DD is at school I dont have to arrange after school care etc.:)

[jade21887]

Sit down and work out a budget on excel for both situations, make sure you include everything, work lunches, uniform expenses, petrol to/from work, etc, and show hubby.

Also show him this :

This is just too good not to pass on to all. Something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice. The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down.
It translates into:
* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month, or
* $171.08 a week.
* That's a mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140?
* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint
* carve pumpkins
* play hide-and-seek
* catch lightning bugs, and
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh
* watching Saturday morning cartoons
* going to Disney movies, and
* wishing on stars.
* You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof
* taking the training wheels off a bike
* removing a splinter
* filling a wading pool
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the:
* first step
* first word
* first bra
* first date
* first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, So . . one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!

Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren!!!!!!!

[2onthego]

Hi Len, I think this is one of life's BIG questions. I have a two year old and a 10month old. I went back to work when my DD was 4months old. I decided to make this sacrifice as we were TTC. I worked for 9months until my DS was due. I did not work for 7months when funds started to get alittle tight. I now work 4 nights a week at Woolworths/Safeway stocking shelves, 8pm-12am. I put the kids to bed and have plenty of sleep before they get me up in the morning. I have also lost 16kilo's and earn enough to pay the mortage every week. It also heaps with social skills and I have some financial independance. You will always make it work for you. I have worked out that I am earning the same amount for 16hours as I would a full time job paying for child care. Put this way we get to play at the park and watch HI-Five. Before you know it your DS will be at school and on to another stage of his life. I know I don't want to miss it!!!

[Little Gorilla]

I worked from when my bub was 5 months to 14 months....biggest mistake of my entire life. I regret it nearly everyday. When I look at video or photos of bub when he was that age I cry, because I feel sick to my stomach for having someone else look after him when he was little.

He was in daycare - which sucked....always sick - different people looking after him all the time, different routines....terrible.

I then decided, bugger it, I have had enough, my son needs his mum full-time at home...so I quit.

It is hard living on one wage....however, I never ever want to go back to work...I want to be one of those mums that does tuck shop duty at school etc.

My son has totally changed since I decided to stay at home...but the biggest change has been our relationship - we are soooooo close now....its like we bonded all over again when I quit work.

There are more cuddles, more kisses, more times when I can just watch him and want to cry from happiness.

It is sooooooooooooooooo important that in the first years of a childs life that they have that one person there as their primary care giver and that one really really strong bond. It gives them security.

Don't go back to work!!!!!