3 weeks and the wheels have fallen off

[HopefulDad]

Or so it seems!

We have a 3 week old (this Wed). So far my wife has been breastfeeding and things have been going pretty well. We've had to do 1 or 2 top-ups with formula but nothing major, and he was well into the feed-play (briefly, and occasionally) sleep routine every 2-3 hrs and going back to sleep well at night after feeds with little awake time. He was putting on weight and things were peachy.

Over the last couple of days though it appears to have fallen in a heap. A few times he's not slept for a few hours in a row - just cranky - after short plays and often has 3hr awake periods and then won't sleep. We've tried frequent feeding (up to every hour, including night time) as he has ramped up the demand for breastfeeding but he still goes hungry, so we've had to increase formula to 2-3 times a day. He'll often fall asleep while breast feeding or bottle feeding but then wakes very shorlty after, hungry and grumpy. He won't settle to sleep easily either - fighting it all the way.

Just not sure what has happened! It's starting to stress my wife and I out a little as we don't know what's happening.

[share a book]

I'd say growth spurt and more readiness to see the world around.

[Rose&Aurelia]

Not helpful but my DD fed hourly during growth spurts. Yes day and night. Just keep swapping boobs.

The more you top up the less the breast produces.

[TinyLittleTootsies]

3 weeks can be a huge growth spurt time. Just as you recover from this one, you will have another around 6 weeks.

Try not to despair, just enjoy all the good moments! I found it really helped with our second baby by not being as bothered with the routine. It really relaxed me to just go with the flow more.

During these times though, it is really important not to top up with formula, or your wifes breasts won't catch up. Usually the first 24 hours are hardest when catching up with a growth spurt and you feel like all you are doing is feeding around the clock, but then suddenly more milk comes through, and your baby starts being satisfied with the new levels and sleeps longer. When you start topping up though, you will have to keep increasing the amounts of formula you are using overall, so if you are not trying to wean your baby, try to get through the constant feeds just by breastfeeding until they produce more milk naturally.

It is really important that during these times, all your wife is doing is feeding and catching up on rest. Doing too much can also slow down milk production by making her stressed and overtired. Make sure she is drinking enough water as well. :)

Is she feeding him as soon as he wakes up or at the end of his "play" period?

[Savingfishfromdrowning]

This is totally normal. Lots of newbies have an 'easy' period for a few weeks at the start and then 'wake up'. I wouldn't do top-ups unless there was a medical reason for it, the more your baby drinks the more the breast will produce.

Keep trying your feed-play-sleep routine, expect longer awake times and skipping some sleeps.

Not sure there's a magical answer for you, but know that what is happening is normal :)

[Lansta]

Agree to above posters. Sounds like a growth spurt. When my bub was that age I can remember him feeding for literally an hour or so then falling asleep mid feed. As long as she has no issue with bub sleeping in her arms I would let them as its better some sleep than none. Otherwise if they are waking when put down its likely the change from warmth of mum to none that wakes them so feeding whilst wrapped helps. I also found sometimes slipping a pacifier in to unlatch them without him waking from it helped

Thinking of it it could also be wind as well as a growth spurt. Some babies don't have issues as a newborn but develop bad wind from about that age so ensuring she has properly burped bub can help. I clued in as he wanted to feed more as the feeding helped the bellyache but it creates a circular issue as the more they drink they can have more wind.

[HopefulDad]

Okay so it seems it is somewhat normal.

The reason we are doing formula topups as with our first child, he was severely malnourished in the first month when we tried to "force" the issue of breastfeeding (not enough milk). So there's a track record of the milk drying up :( but we are hoping for the best. I should add my wife is expressing with a pump afterwards to keep things stimulated. I understand that the formula thing can be an issue for milk production but we are just being a little cautious and not wanting to repeat the mistake we had with our first child.

We are not enforcing the feed play sleep thing, but just following that as a guide. Basically when he wakes up he goes straight on the breast (and then onto formula if needed) then if he's not milk-drunk / asleep he has a play for a bit, then when shows early signs of crankiness its off to sleep (sometimes with another go at the breast). It is this step that falls down - can never get him off the breast without waking, then back on, then off, then on, then off etc and before you know it 2-3 hrs have elapsed since he last woke and there's no milk.

[Rose&Aurelia]

Basically when he wakes up he goes straight on the breast (and then onto formula if needed) then if he's not milk-drunk / asleep he has a play for a bit, then when shows early signs of crankiness its off to sleep (sometimes with another go at the breast). It is this step that falls down - can never get him off the breast without waking, then back on, then off, then on, then off etc and before you know it 2-3 hrs have elapsed since he last woke and there's no milk.

try this...

feed bub on right breast (for example) as soon as he wakes up. Then do the change/play etc. The offer bub left breast. if bub falls off to sleep then great - put him down or in the carrier.

if bub wakes up and wants more boob - he either is still hungry (tho if he was hungry he wouldnt fall asleep IMO) or he likes the sucking action (you may want to offer a dummy) or he just likes the mummy cuddles with the sucking action (which is what my DD did). my DD lived on my boob for several hours every evening till 6/8wks so its normal. Its called cluster feeding. I just left her on that boob (the left one) for her to latch on/off whilst I watched a whole heap of terrible TV shows. All that skin/skin bonding is great for producing the hormone prolactin. Prolactin production reduces around 3-6wks post birth unless stimulated by the baby feeding.

When its time for the next feed go back to the right one. By now it should be full as its been 2/3 hrs.

HTH.

[SpecialPatrolGroup]

Agree with the pp's about growth spurts - expect another at 6 weeks.
All the best for things settling down in the next couple of days.

[Harmony66]

Okay so it seems it is somewhat normal.

The reason we are doing formula topups as with our first child, he was severely malnourished in the first month when we tried to "force" the issue of breastfeeding (not enough milk). So there's a track record of the milk drying up :( but we are hoping for the best. I should add my wife is expressing with a pump afterwards to keep things stimulated. I understand that the formula thing can be an issue for milk production but we are just being a little cautious and not wanting to repeat the mistake we had with our first child.

We are not enforcing the feed play sleep thing, but just following that as a guide. Basically when he wakes up he goes straight on the breast (and then onto formula if needed) then if he's not milk-drunk / asleep he has a play for a bit, then when shows early signs of crankiness its off to sleep (sometimes with another go at the breast). It is this step that falls down - can never get him off the breast without waking, then back on, then off, then on, then off etc and before you know it 2-3 hrs have elapsed since he last woke and there's no milk.

Hi thought i would let you know that we are going through the same thing with our 4wk old. She is FF 70% of her feeds then the rest is breast or i express - long story the whole breastfeeding thing didnt work out for us liked we had hoped. The last few days the only time she seems to be happy is when she has a bottle in her mouth or she is feeding, as soon as she is finished and we burp her she crys and seems just as unsettled as she was before feeding - so we offer her more until she is milk drunk - which doesnt happen after every feed. I will then comfort her and sway to sleep before we put her down but within 1/2 hour of being put down she is awake again. I try and gently pat her back to sleep or rub her tummy or rock the pram/bassinet to try and get her to go back to sleep but this doesnt always work and before you know it she is wide awake and crying, she was awake last night for 5 hours straight as she just wouldnt close her eyes or even relax. During her awake periods after she has had a feed,burp and looks like she is full we offer tummy time/play time but she is only interested in this for about 5mins then she gets upset and crys. Do you think growth spurt/tummy pain or is she still hungry? It gets very confusing. It is reassuring to know that your not alone!

[headoverfeet]

You have already been given a lot of good advice so I wont repeat it but is your wife seeing anyone regarding her supply? A Lactation Consultant perhaps?

The best way to establish a good supply in a healthy mumma and baby is to feed on cue, lots of skin-skin contact during those early weeks. You might find this link helpful. http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing/

[SugarplumMummy]

Lots of great advice here for you already - I just wanted to add that I have a 5 week old and experienced the restlessness you are going through.
It really was hard for me to work out what was happening.
Bub was exclusively bf and was not gaining weight appropriately. I saw a lactation consultant who visited me at home (lots of times!) and listened and watched bub feed.

Well..apparently my latch and position were perfect but bub was not swallowing the milk. He was sucking but not transferring the milk. When my milk came in originally I had an over-supply so bub did not really have to work too much at the breast.

After ensuring bub was swallowing correctly and transferring milk to his little belly he is so much more content and is settling/sleeping well. I also bf every 2 hours around the clock for about a week. And we tried infants friend for his wind and really burped bub well.

This may not be what is happening with your bub though - I did start a thread on the bf topic on how to increase my supply and I got so many helpful tips, hope this helps..take care of that super wife of yours I know how hard physically and emotionally it can be feeding and pumping and not sleeping!

[Pumpkin Head]

Wow, had no idea this could be a growth spurt.... I'm currently experiencing a very similar situation.
Bub has been reasonably content until the last couple of days. She was 3 weeks yesterday and though i was feeding her just as much as before i was concentrating on wind as an issue as it was for the first week or more.
So felt very sheepish and guilty upon realising she was extremely hungry.
I'm doing a similar thing to your wife mixed feeding topping up with formula and expressing after every feed. I know some people won't agree with this but, to save me some sanity i'm getting dad to feed her expressed milk in between me breastfeeding so i can skip a feed or have time to express while he feeds her. She feels fuller and i find it helpful at night when i need sleep too :rolleyes: She's feeding alot and has easily almost doubled her intake from about a week ago. She seems much better for it but, same thing, she seems quite restless and disrupted from her routine, but am trying to keep to it loosely. Have fed on demand since the beginning so she basically dictates the routine anyway. Just trying to keep her night time bath routine the same as she sleeps better through the night :)
Reassuring to hear it's quite normal :wave:

[Bubbles10]

It's not that people don't agree with it, just that topping up or giving bottlefeeds often leads to premature weaning - whether you want that or not.

[DesperatelySeekingSleep]

I'd say growth spurt and more readiness to see the world around.

was going to say exactly this.

welcome to parenthood.

[Starfish30]

I think that this all normal, my 5 week old is the same.

I try not to stress too much about having a routine, and we have very little play time because he is either feeding, sleeping or crying.

DS also sleeps great when being held but not so well on the bassinet. In the first few weeks I just gave up on the bassinet and focused on him getting sleep because he was getting over tired and grumpy. Now I'm starting to introduce bassinet again and he had a full hour of sleep in it today! At other times he just sleeps in our arms during the day.

One thing that doesn't work for us is to get him awake into the bassinet, he needs to be milk drunk. And the books and LC have told me that it is normal for newborns not to be able to fall asleep by themselves.

I just try not to have high expectations and take it easy with bub. Slowly we will get there!