View Full Version : Gift registry for Baby shower/Christening??
I have a large family, also married into a huge Italian family and for every big occasion we usually get/give cash or gifts.
I am the type of person who cant say what I would like if someone asks me, I just say "nothing, please just bring your smile" lol This wont change.:o
We did a registry for our wedding, and it worked out fine, but I am thinking that this may be looked on differently.:confused:
In the past ( big birthdays, house warming etc ) we have always received these really expensive gifts that we just cant use ( eg. $600 marble statue of a naked man - bits REALLY on display:eek: ) etc etc. but I have to have on display so I dont offend anyone.
The problem/question is....
a - Is it rude to list a gift registry for the baby shower / christening?
b - what wording would I use?
I would list things from $1:00 to $2000 ( yes, the cot has already been bought OMG! ) so that everyone can afford it. Im just REALLY worried that it will look bad.
Any help would be fantastic!
I HAVE ADDED ON MORE OF MY POSTS SO YOU CAN SEE SOME PREVIOUSLY ASKED QS..
OK, just to clarify....
$2000 was for cot & matching change table that grandpa bought - has gone already.
Now Im not sure what to do lol, I dont want to offend anyone but if I dont tell them when they ask ( and I just couldnt ) I get really expensive gifts like naked statues, blinds (yes blinds once for house warming - the houswarming invites said - No gifts - SERIOUSLY! ), big jesus on a cross ( up to my hip ) etc etc from the people who do spend big AND I have to have them all on display .
Did I mention that 80% of the gifts are really very cheap?
I am soooo chuffed that they would want to give us such gifts but I would prefer a Pram instead of a Semi Soft-Porn Statue lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonlou73 http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=735868#post735868)
IMO - i'm not into baby showers, never have been & never will be. the only time i think its right is for people who really need it.
i think once the baby is born people will give you pressies anyway especially if you have a large circle of family & friends. why not have a list of what you need & if people ask let them know.
Thought of that too but...
God mother ( who is also BF) , SIL, MIL and mum have taken over. Its the first one (bub) for three of them so I guess they are just excited and I dont want to kill their buzz in one way.
I went with No. I'm not into baby showers anyhow, and often find wedding registries offensive as many of the listed cheap items disappear very quickly.
If your family & friends feel they need to give something, suggest they put some money in an envelope and have something (basket or box) in the room to put it in. Maybe have a list of the things you will put the money towards near the basket/box. This way people can put in $5 or $50 and you hopefully won't end up with any of those 'oh how lovely...:( ' gifts
Wish_Bear
18-10-2006, 12:01
Sorry but I'm no help. I didn't have a baby shower for any of my kids. It's not something we do.
But I don't think doing a registry is rude...at least people know what you want/need.
~mia&ryan~
18-10-2006, 13:32
I don't think that gift registries are rude. Perhaps if you are worried that people will worry about the more expensive items, suggest that families pool their money to get you a gift, so they know you don't expect 1 person to pay for a $2000 item on their own. This of course depends on the financial situation of the people you are inviting. Just keep in mind that some people may feel obliged to spend more than they can afford, because there are set items.
Excellent - Thanks guys!:hugs:
Cash is a gven from half of Marks Family/Friends, so maybe the best best is to take off the more expensive things and leave it at that?:idea:
The rest of it is Bottles, teats, sun shades for car windows, bibs etc etc small things. :)
What kind of wording should I use?
Do I need to write anything on the invite or should I just insert the card thingy?
catalicious
18-10-2006, 17:12
i think it is highly rude and highly offensive.
When people come to events such as these the things they buy are for the baby and are usually because there was something about the gift that they thought would be good or mean something to the baby.
If I got a gift registery thingo for a baby shower/christening I would be sooooo offended. Im not against bringing pressies to these events or even having these events for the purpose of getting gifts cause really thats what a baby shower is (dont worry I had one) but pretty much telling people what to bring that is one of the rudest things I can think of.!!
I really hope you dont have one because having such a big family and friend circle I think alot of people will be very offended.
I dont even think the cash thing is as rude as the registery
Wish_Bear
18-10-2006, 17:52
I can't believe how many people are offended by gift registries! What is wrong with picking the gifts you really want and having them all in one place for others to find them easily? Isn't it better to do that than end up with 25 photo frames with babies on them? I am just amazed at how offended people get over such a trivial thing.
I would prefer being told what people want rather than get that "oh it's lovely" look when they open the gift see the same thing the last 3 people have given them.
sonlou73
18-10-2006, 19:34
IMO :thumbsdown: - i'm not into baby showers, never have been & never will be. the only time i think its right is for people who really need it.
i think once the baby is born people will give you pressies anyway especially if you have a large circle of family & friends. why not have a list of what you need & if people ask let them know.
OK, just to clarify....
$2000 was for cot & matching change table that grandpa bought - has gone already. :thumbsup:
Now Im not sure what to do lol, I dont want to offend anyone but if I dont tell them when they ask ( and I just couldnt ) I get really expensive gifts like naked statues, blinds (yes blinds once for house warming - the houswarming invites said - No gifts - SERIOUSLY!:yes: ), big jesus on a cross ( up to my hip ) etc etc from the people who do spend big AND I have to have them all on display :confused:.
Did I mention that 80% of the gifts are really very cheap?
I am soooo chuffed that they would want to give us such gifts but I would prefer a Pram instead of a Semi Soft-Porn Statue lol.
Its 50-50 at the moment with the poll.... anyone want to swing it one way or the other?:yelclap:
IMO :thumbsdown: - i'm not into baby showers, never have been & never will be. the only time i think its right is for people who really need it.
i think once the baby is born people will give you pressies anyway especially if you have a large circle of family & friends. why not have a list of what you need & if people ask let them know.
Thought of that too but...
God mother ( who is also BF) , SIL, MIL and mum have taken over. Its the first one (bub) for three of them so I guess they are just excited and I dont want to kill their buzz in one way.:thumbsup:
if your family wants to buy things i am sure they would rather buy something you want! especially considering what they are spending.. and buying.. nude statue?!:laughing:
seeing though you find it hard to say what you want(im the same) i think a gift registry is the perfect solution! either that or yeah the money in the bucket idea is also great.. you'll get exactly what you want either way!
goodluck!! :D
especially considering what they are spending.. and buying.. nude statue?!:laughing:
You want it? Going cheap... Mates rates (free) lol :laughing:
in america they have a gift reg at TOYS R US just for baby showers.
i wouldnt be upset in anyway at getting an invite with a reg card.
its up to the preson coming if they want to buy from that or get whatever else they want to get you... naked woman to go with the man even :laughing:
i like the idea of the money in a box and a list of the things youd be buying with the money. your thankyou cards sent after the babyshower could have a pic of all the things you got with the money.
- can't help you with the whole gift registry idea as it's not really my thing
LOL
BUT I just thought of a use for your naked statue ... He could be the coat check stand ... just mount a couple of hooks in *ahem* strategic places and Ta-Da! he's decent AND useful! :laughing:
- can't help you with the whole gift registry idea as it's not really my thing
LOL
BUT I just thought of a use for your naked statue ... He could be the coat check stand ... just mount a couple of hooks in *ahem* strategic places and Ta-Da! he's decent AND useful! :laughing:
:laughing: too funny!:hugs:
just had to add toys r us DO do the gift registry over here.. found that out yesterday.. might be a good idea:D
as for the statue.. if only i had the room...:laughing:
our little treasures
19-10-2006, 08:09
If I was to be invited I would be offended if the invite had gift registry on it. I think buying gifts is for the person coming the fun thing of deciding what to get, I shop for gifts with my heart. I feel it is much more personal to the person if they buy the gift!!
Oh I also hate money in the card!! I think it means the person didn't bother. In my family we don't do that, however DH's family does. I hope my children grow up and never do that, very distasteful!
FunkyMonkey
19-10-2006, 08:29
I wish i had had a gift registery for my boys baby shower. I have got so many bunny rugs its not funny.
I find it hard to find gifts for people and hate it when if you ask they say "oh just whatever you like."
As for giving money, thats more than fine then you can get what you really want/need and not a huge heap of bunny rugs.
babyrabbitoh
19-10-2006, 21:52
In my opinion i would go with the gift registry. honestly i can see how people think its rude but least you get what you need and not naked statues!!!
Im having a baby shower end of next month and im having a registry with babies galore. My DH's family have had babies and they included registrys too. at first i thought a bit rude, but honestly i just went to the store and bought what they WANTED!!!
really i didnt care and was happy to buy something they would use. when they had the babies i bought them a gift that i had picked and they also seemed to appreciate it too.
If this helps i did my baby shower guest list the other night and i have 42 women to invite, when your talking big numbers why do you want 10 photo frames that are completely useless!
im all for registrys (maybe because im having one too)
babyrabbitoh
19-10-2006, 21:57
by the way, with mine im going to attach a list of what i want and the price next to it to the invite.
least then if someone sees the item at another store for cheaper etc they can buy it from where ever, and they will see things from $5 to $100:)
blessedmummy
20-10-2006, 12:44
when i had a babyshower for clare, (didnt have one for emily.. we were living away from family at the time..) i didnt have a gift registry.. people brought something if they wanted to, cause i had most things anyhow, it didnt really matter much.,
Did it properly now and something like 20 items have already been bught! OMG!:eek:
I actually had two people call to say what a great idea it was as Im so hard to buy for :yelclap: - not sure if thats a compliment or insult :confused: but hey .. ill take it .:laughing:
Mamaduke
12-11-2006, 22:59
I think it's a fantastic idea...especially for people who don't have babies or haven't had a baby for 20 years - alot has changed!!!
I would not be offended in the slightest because it would save me asking what have you got, what would you like, what do you need and you not feeling as though you could offer any suggestions in case it was too dear/too cheap...solution - gift registry...beautiful!!
IMO it's not as rude as those corny poems you get with wedding invites saying "we've lived together for eons, we're getting married, now give us cold hard cash!" now that's rude! ;)
IMO it's not as rude as those corny poems you get with wedding invites saying "we've lived together for eons, we're getting married, now give us cold hard cash!" now that's rude! ;)
:laughing: That is rude! OMG!:eek: :laughing:
Mischief
13-11-2006, 16:01
I voted that I thought it was rude, but have changed my mind since reading thru your post more.... (sorry, I jumped in) so put one more on the *GO FOR IT* side and take one off the *NO DONT* side. :)
At first I thought it was a bit rude to actually have a registery, but not to tell people what you want, but really, its just the same.
Maybe you could have cards, with a registery details on it, and then when people ask you could say....well we do have a registery if you are intersted in having a look at it. :)
bouschka
14-11-2006, 02:07
That is rude! OMG!:eek:
Well call me rude ladies, but that's what I'll be having at our wedding next year. We don't need toasters, microwaves, sheets or towels - I already bought my own! We need cash for renovating our shack ;). Living in Sydney with our house prices - it's definitely how things are heading with couples buying property together before marrying.
I like the gift registry idea for a baby shower too. If the main reason is to help out the parents with stuff for the coming baby, who would be excited about 15 bunny rugs, 10 photo frames & a naked statue .... :confused:.
IMHO of course :p
Becteria
14-11-2006, 05:20
I received an invite with a registry at babyco, i didnt like it because theres a presumption attached.
If you really want to get what you want give the organisers lists and if people ask you direct them to the organisers.
Otherwise be very graeful that so many generous people want to give you a gift from the heart. I got a heap of lovely things at mine and everyone liked to see the handpicked gift being used later and my suprise when opening it. its a big part of the day IMO.
Good luck Caithi, i am sur you'll have a wonderful day it sounds like theres heaps of love around you!
I voted No, i think its offensive but to justify why I am saying that-
A baby shower is usually where people bring small things for the mother like bibs, singlets, bunny rugs, teddy bears.
I think to put a limit of $2000:eek: is alot of money.
However Caithi I inderstand where your coming from with the Italians in your family,they tend to spend LOTS dont they.
I think if it were me I would probably couldnt put gift registry in.
Im all for them for weddings because your supplying drinks and a large meal but i dont see them appropriate for any other occasion, sorry.
Hokey Pokey
14-11-2006, 12:01
I like gift registrys for any occasion lol at least you know what to buy that won't be wasted or left to collect dust etc.
SuperWoman
14-11-2006, 20:26
I think they are a great idea!:thumbsup:
AshleighsMum
19-11-2006, 14:51
I think they are a fabulous idea......I really cannot beleive how many people have such a strong "thats so offensive!" opinion!
I have friends that are from big Italian families and they sure do go way over the top with the gift giving - so by at least letting them know about the registry you will be getting exactly what you want and then all your other invited guests may bring "from the heart" gifts.....which usually mean photo frames/bunny rugs & unisex clothes.
I agree with one of the other comments by someone......what is the difference between putting something on a registry list and telling someone when they ask what you want???
oleander
19-11-2006, 16:59
I personally dont find it offensive. I would put things on there that are some cheap and some more expensive like a pram so a few ladies can pool their money together for the more pricey items.
Have a fun baby shower!:party:
I too voted Yes - people don't HAVE to buy off the list - it can be used as a guide ...
:D
Hi, my friends are throwing one for me, this being my 4th, i wasnt that interested but decided to go along with it and just enjoy the ride,
I am having a "wishing well" where people can anonomously put money in an envelope.
Heres what i wrote on the invites.
"We are requesting your presence NOT your presents, however there will be a wishing well. All you have to do is place any money into an envelope and throw it in the well on the day. Your contribution will be acepted but is by no means expected."
Something to that effect anyway- cant remeber exact wording and im too lazy to search for the spare invites LOL.
EVERYONE who got an invite said how they thought it was a fantastic idea. Just a suggestion for you.:hugs:
MissSparkle
14-12-2006, 13:16
Oh I know exactly what u mean. My DF is greek and I have 2 nude statues from our engagement party. We actually put them in our room to avoid to "omg" from our friends when they come around.
I totally agree in ur position its best to have a registry. I also think its not for everyone. I know that with my in laws + family if I do not specify what Id like I end up with VERY expensive, unnecissary items which although I greatly appreciate.....with a baby its better to get what u need (not 3 $150 teddy bears!!)
I say go for it!!
This is no reflection on the OP at all, but I'm not a fan of gift registeries in general. To me its expecting people to get you certain stuff & I'm just greatful that people would want to get me anything at all! So definitley not for bubs. jmo I don't mind buying for other people from their registries, though. Call me crazy.
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