Please, can you help me!!!

[mumof4boys]

Our youngest son is 2 very soon (Dec) and he is still breast feed, about 2 times during the day and if allowed, all night, I'm going stir crazy, I work nights and sometimes I haven't even walked in the door at 2am, and he's up wanting a booby. Im tired, stress and cranky and all I want is a decent nights sleep.:sleeping:

I understand that he wants to be comforted and still, number 1 but our other children are picking up on my frustration and this has caused tention in my usally well behaved household.
I feel guilt for going back to work, because I want Jacob our toddler to be happy, but I have no other choice my husband is in contant pain from a fractured spine and is unable to work. :gloomy:
So its not like Jacob is with strangers, he's home and well taken care of, and has plenty of security.

I don't seem to beable to ween Jacob even though he eats well and drinks water from a cup. He doesn't like cows milk or juice and having large breasts I have a hard time expressing with a hand pump.
PLEASE please can you help. I don't know what to do or where to go.:confused:
Thanks for you time.
Regards Petara (mumof4boys)

[Pinky McKay]

Dear mumof4boys,

I really feel for you -I have been in a similar boat with a sick husband and no choice but work with littlies. Firstly, please dont beat up on yourself - you are doing a MIGHTY job!

4 boys will mean a really stimulating environment for your little one and his night time demands may well be his way of connecting and having mummy time - bummer it's all night and Im sure you are flat out when you are not "at work" .

Regarding daytime weaning, do you want to wean completely?
Nursing is actually a wonderful mothering tool when you have atoddler going through upheaval - they have a stack of development to go through regardless of what is going on at home so usually acceptance is the best way for them to feel secure and then they are more likely to wean naturally( they do eventually, I promise!). On the other hand, the more irritated we get with toddlers, the more likely they are to become clingy -and want more breastfeeds.

Can you spend time with your boy in other ways and create distractions so that you just give him a morning and evening feed, then after a week or two, cut the morning one by being up before he is so he is only having one feed a day? Gradually your supply will dwindle and he will lose interest. Enlist the other kids to create a diversion in the mornings. Summer hols may be a better time for weaning.

Regarding night nursing - Does his night nursing happen on the nights you arent at work? Can you see that he is given a snack and water before bed so he isnt 'hungry' and waiting for you? Could he sleep with one of his brothers?

The tip for making changes is to do it gradually, with love (sorry I know you want it sorted right now). At two you can set limits even though it may create a fuss at first: work backwards from what you want - and allow perhaps one feed when you get home, then cuddles but no more booby til the sun comes up/ til the clock says number XXX or whatever is acceptable to you. You need to work out whether you are strong enough to say no then stick to it rather than 'give in' after a fuss as this will prolong the demanding, so set manageable limits.

Another suggestion if your husband is well enough to do the night time parenting is to simply sleep in another room for a few nights or at a friends place for a night -it isnt ideal but as you say your toddler is being loved and cared for in afamiliar safe environment and you do need to survive.

Meanwhile , take yourself off for a massage or go to a coffe shop with a magazine and have a wee break -as the old saying goes, "if mama aint happy, nobody aint happy"

Pinky